SerCay Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 So here's an embarrassing confession and I would like your help on it.. I think that all men I communicate with like me. Whether this be co-workers or any other. I hate this and I want to get over myself. Anyone with true advice? I really need to get over this and be able to communicate with men in a normal way. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 I'm not sure what the issue is. How does thinking they like you inhibit your ability to communicate with them? More specifics would be helpful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SerCay Posted November 12, 2015 Author Share Posted November 12, 2015 Let me get specific... I get the feeling that men I communicate with on regular basis, are physically attracted to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 and how does this create problems for you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 I think many women are physically attracted to me or auto-assume something bad about me. It doesn't change how I communicate with them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Let me get specific... I get the feeling that men I communicate with on regular basis, are physically attracted to me. Okay, I'll bite...again... So? Why exactly is that a problem? You said you have a problem communicating with them. I don't understand how thinking a man finds you attractive stops you from doing that. Do you clam up? Do you run in the other direction? Do you stutter? Do you throw yourself at him before he's had a chance to open his mouth? What???? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeartDesires Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 I know that feeling, OP...... It's sometimes difficult to engage in strictly business related conversations when your male co-workers are flirting and undressing you with their eyes. You have to learn to ignore it and just concentrate on your job. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SerCay Posted November 12, 2015 Author Share Posted November 12, 2015 Sorry guys, I think I'm not being clear enough here. There's nothing wrong with my communication with them. I communicate perfectly fine with men. It's just my own thoughts that I believe that they are indeed attracted to me, or undressing me with their eyes. I notice that, even when they're being very nice to me, I think that their niceness is specially done towards me because they like me. I hope I'm able to get my problem across. There's no problem from the outside, it's just that I do want to get over myself. Like seriously, why for christ sake would EVERY man be attracted to me? That's ridiculous... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeartDesires Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 SerCay , it's entirely possible that a good majority of men ARE attracted to you. Us women can sense these things....some times you can't help but go by your intuition. I will say though that if you're under the impression that EVERY guy wants you, then maybe you're correct in thinking that's abnormal. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SerCay Posted November 12, 2015 Author Share Posted November 12, 2015 Yes honestly not like every every man, but for example all of my male co-workers.. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 It's quite likely that they are attracted to you. That being said, I suspect you're not so old. Just wait till your my age (late 40's) and guys just don't notice you anymore. Time will solve this issue. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SerCay Posted November 12, 2015 Author Share Posted November 12, 2015 SerCay , it's entirely possible that a good majority of men ARE attracted to you. Us women can sense these things....some times you can't help but go by your intuition. I do feel as if I can sense it...with some more than with others. I feel quite ashamed of my sensing it though and as you can read...I doubt myself :S I mean I cannot know for sure and I feel ashamed as well for maybe sensing wrongly..while they're just trying to be nice for example.. It didn't help that my ex boyfriend, whom I was together with for 5 years, used to tell me that I'm a "man-magnet" Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 That's life! No big deal! It's been that way my whole life. Know how to have a healthy boundary and learn to be gracious and classy and you won't have any issues. It's not a big deal if you don't make it a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Wow! I find this really shocking! Been told by people I am lovely, stunning, gorgeous etc all through the past 20 years and I still get compliments daily but I can't fathom thinking this about colleagues or anyone. Why do you not just think they are friendly colleagues? If I were to think this way then my entire male colleague-net would be attracted - eek! That's a heck of a lot of guys! They are the majority and they all interact in a friendly way with me always. There's over 80 of them! Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 i think all you can do is ignore it.....and go with the thought they are just being nice until proven otherwise because going by what you sense is jumping the gun big time.........because chances are they could just be being nice..if they act nervous it might be something else entirely that is making them that way......there are nice men around who dont undress a woman in their mind every time they stand near them...... i believe in listening to that inner voice and senses...but....you dont need to act on them or do anything unless its a dangerous sort of feeling you get..or a truly positive one...dont allow for doubt to be there before you act......i feel just being nice back is the best way to go...most men if they like you...end up saying it anyway..which is normally how you can truly judge your intuition to act upon feelings or know if feelings are actually there.....they have to say them aloud....kills all doubt.........most good men, they let you know they like you by asking you out until then....just treat them how they treat you....with friendliness and courtesy......deb Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Most guys will "scope out" just about any woman that can fog a mirror...Doesn't even mean they necessarily like you .... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 are you overly vain/conscious about your looks and appearance? ime women (and men) who are somewhat entrenched in maintaining their own physical attractiveness somehow project that onto others and assume others like them physically as well (although that's not the case). it can stem from low self-esteem and the thought that you're not actually attractive, so any validation from anyone who even says hello can rev up your motor and lead you to believe it's romantic interest of some sort. Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Option 1. They all in fact are attracted to you. Option 2. They aren't all in fact attracted to you. Neither situation seems like a really big issue, to me; not to the point that you should re-evaluate yourself anyway. Also, I won't worry too much about it: it is very possible for even extremely attractive ppl to live completely normal lives too, from what I hear... Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 I felt like that in my 20s. Because they all were indeed Men... most think with their lower heads. Specially with young women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SerCay Posted November 14, 2015 Author Share Posted November 14, 2015 are you overly vain/conscious about your looks and appearance? ime women (and men) who are somewhat entrenched in maintaining their own physical attractiveness somehow project that onto others and assume others like them physically as well (although that's not the case). it can stem from low self-esteem and the thought that you're not actually attractive, so any validation from anyone who even says hello can rev up your motor and lead you to believe it's romantic interest of some sort. Unfortunately, yes this is a trait of mine which I'm not proud of. I always want to be groomed 100% and I'm very conscientious of my looks and how others perceive it.. It might indeed be from a place of low self esteem, as I have been through a relaionship of 5 yrs that left me at my lowest point at the end.. What to do about this beside the obvious learning to love thyself? How to overcome being overly conscientious anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 It may help you to see a counselor to help you with your low self esteem. It would be money well spent for the rest of your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 Are you generally a happy person who is kind, caring and passionate? If the answer is yes, you will always have men being attracted to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie Harper Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 Why is a bad thing? on the contrary, its great, you get a lot of freebies, compliments, people are nice to you, get the good tables at restaurants, heck even people expect you to tell them "something". I don't get it why is so bad, I used to get embarrassed when a woman bought me presents or compliment on my looks or anything, now I have learned to compliment back on REAL stuff, and I feel pretty confortable, there is not a week that goes by , when I don't receive some kind of present from a woman, and I think is great, yes sometimes is creepy when they "stare" at you and you feel like being drilled...but now I don't get nervous or feel creeped out.... learn and live Link to post Share on other sites
Author SerCay Posted November 15, 2015 Author Share Posted November 15, 2015 Are you generally a happy person who is kind, caring and passionate? If the answer is yes, you will always have men being attracted to you. Yes I am indeed...I've had troubles with my own girlfriends because of this in the past as well. Them thinking their boyfriends liked me and idiotic things like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeartDesires Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 Are you generally a happy person who is kind, caring and passionate? If the answer is yes, you will always have men being attracted to you. Well yes that looks great on paper, but the reality is OP probably looks hot. Link to post Share on other sites
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