Jump to content

Best way to prevent infidelity


Recommended Posts

DrReplyInRhymes
Coming from a male who is new to relationships what is the best way to prevent infidelity from a female partner

 

you can't.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

How about be careful in your choices and once you find someone you care about, showing them that every day in a way that makes them feel special and cherished...?

 

People will do what they will do.

 

I purposefully went for my ex because he was a "nice" guy.

 

Found out about four different women he was shagging... among other things...

Link to post
Share on other sites
Coming from a male who is new to relationships what is the best way to prevent infidelity from a female partner

 

While there are no guarantees, one of the best predictors of future behavior is past behavior. If she has cheated in the past, that statistically increases (though doesn't guarantee) the chances she will again. Other things to consider include personal/cultural values, level of involvement on social media and the internet, her take on having other males in her life outside of the relationship, her ability to tolerate moments of uncertainty and unexcitement in a relationship without straying, and probably a few other things I'm not thinking of right now. Of course, this is all on top of the emotional and sexual relationship the two of you share, and how much communication the two of you bring to keep the relationship going.

 

Also, and this might be somewhat discouraging to hear, but there are reports coming out that women today are cheating at least as much as men do, if not more. In my practice as a therapist, I can tell you that I overwhelmingly encounter couples who are trying to work through an infidelity that the woman committed, not the man.

Edited by TunaInTheBrine
Link to post
Share on other sites

There are no guarantees. However, you can:

a) not expect fidelity, and have an explicitly open relationship

b) not enter any relationships

 

The odds of being cheated on are about 1 in 5 over the course of a relationship. So, most relationships won't have a problem.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Coming from a male who is new to relationships what is the best way to prevent infidelity from a female partner

 

You can only prevent infidelity in yourself. You cannot possibly control what another person does.

 

All you can do is choose someone whose values align with yours, practice having open and honest conversations with each other often and hope for the best. But otherwise, you cannot (and shouldn't want to) control what they do.

 

No one wants to be cheated on or hurt but being paranoid and controlling doesn't help. You simply have to do your best in choosing the person and in trying to keep up your end of the deal and communicate and leave it at that. But the fastest way to an unhappy life is making it your duty to try to control the thoughts, beliefs, actions etc. of someone else because of your fears.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Some will cheat that have never cheated before and those who swear they would never do it, end up doing it. It's a crap shoot.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Some will cheat that have never cheated before and those who swear they would never do it, end up doing it. It's a crap shoot.

 

I could not agree more....

Link to post
Share on other sites
prevent infidelity from a female partner

You are coming at this from the wrong assumption: You can't PREVENT anybody from doing anything.

 

This isn't a male thing or a female thing. It is a human thing. There are some people who cheat - for whatever reason.

 

All you can do is read these boards to see the signs on what results in cheating; ignoring your partner, not having the same love-language, differing interests, etc. Work on finding a partner with whom you can have a complete and totally open line of communication.

 

Be the partner you want to have.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
Coming from a male who is new to relationships what is the best way to prevent infidelity from a female partner

 

pick a partner who has integrity and treat her well.

 

But understand: you cannot prevent anything if they are of the mind to cheat.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Bang her so good that she doesn't desire anyone else.

 

This. ^^^

 

 

It's so simple...it just might work.

 

 

Oh, and by the way, "bang" can be literal or a metaphor. There are numerous ways to rock her world...mind-blowing sex is just one...why limit yourself?

 

;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Like others have said... Some thought they would never, and do, others have, but yet never do again...

 

Maybe some are more likely than others.... But there are no guarantees.

 

I NEVER thought I would cheat. Never cheated on any exclusive relationships when I was young.

 

Been with the same person for 14 years, and for 13.5 of those never entertained the thought of cheating for a moment. Didn't think I was capable of it. I think those who know me would be shocked.

 

But I did, I cheated a few times.

 

I will say, there may be some merrit to "bang her so good" I am not going to blame the victim, but I was sexually fustrated, and maybe I never thought about cheating before, because our sex life used to be better.

Link to post
Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77
Coming from a male who is new to relationships what is the best way to prevent infidelity from a female partner

 

Presumably the exact same way to prevent infidelity from a male partner, I imagine.

 

I have to say though, when I was new to relationships, the last thing I had in mind was preparing myself for the eventuality of someone being unfaithful to me. FWIW, in the past 20 odd years, I have not been cheated on (to my knowledge anyway) nor have I ever cheated, so it is possible.

 

I'd probs suggest a lighter, more positive approach though OP - you want to enjoy the ride you know, not constantly look over you shoulder in case bad stuff happen.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Coming from a male who is new to relationships what is the best way to prevent infidelity from a female partner

 

Choose someone who wouldn't cheat.

 

Only way

Link to post
Share on other sites

You can't. But what I can tell you is the fear is worse than the reality....coming from someone who's been cheated on. When it finally did happen I was quite surprised by how lacking in the perceived trauma the whole thing was. His act, made everything crystal clear for me and I had no trouble at all walking away without even looking over my shoulder. I never entertained the thought of trying to work through it....work through what? As far as I'm concerned the relationship is dead the instant the partner goes looking outside of it.

 

I suppose if you plan on staying with this person it would be a bigger nightmare. But in my case his betrayal just opened my eyes to his character and I knew exactly what to do next. I didn't for an instant blame myself. I'm not responsible for his behaviour and the cheating was not precipitated by the withdrawal of sex, affection or even a rough patch in the relationship. Nope, my conscience was clear on that one. ;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can give you advice on how I stopped myself from straying....but there is no way to prevent a partner from straying.

 

It's all up to the individual.

Link to post
Share on other sites

The only way you can control the outcome is to give the other person literally everything they desire in life.

 

Tall order.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...