After 8 months no contact

[brokengirl85]

Hello all, I thought I'll update what's going on in my life. Sorry if this is not as optimistic as you hoped it'll be.

 

No contact since March 2015. This was a long relationship with no contact periods and basically he never wanted to have a full relationship, just nothing serious.

 

After 8 months he's already moved on. I don't know for sure bc it's been months since I last checked on him, but last time I sneaked into his Facebook he was madly in love with someone else, someone he was seeing and talking to while he was still seeing me.

 

Me: I've been on antidepressants for two months, didn't work at all. I've tried to date again, didn't work at all.

I feel I was the happiest while I was with him and somehow I want to go back in time, and be the girl I was when I was with him.

He was my first love even though I'm in my 30s but I never felt that way with anyone else.

 

I feel sad he didn't love me enough to chose me. Sad and rejected. I understand one cannot change others feelings and that's unfortunate bc I did love him.

I miss him everyday but I'm learning to live with it.

 

I hope one day I'll be happy again.

[xera]

You are not on your own. I am also single @ 29 and broken hearted.

 

 

I wish for the best for the two of us--that one day, we will be happy again.

 

 

Just for now, keep loving yourself and improving yourself for that next person to love.

[Claire Laraine]

Great advice Xera!

 

Self-love, self-compassion and self-care are the ways forward.

 

Its not unusual to feel directionless when you're starting to come out the other side of break-up grief. This really is the time to focus on YOU. Reconnect to yourself and what life looks like (Or what you want it to look like) now. Its about taking time for self-care, getting to the core of you and whats important to you, your goals for the future. Its also about acknowledging how that part of your life influences your future, because it will. This is just a part of your story, it sounds like your ready to start writing the next part of your journey now. I am passionate about supporting single girls to live an 'Un-tethered Life', to nurture their wellbeing and connect with what makes their soul sing. I have developed a short e-course if you are interested: Clarity in the Chaos ? BELIEVER OF BRAVE

 

...To give you the tools to quieten the noise, fight the overwhelm and learn to listen to your heart whispers. All by gently and bravely exploring your creativity.

[2mehappiness]

I know exactly how you feel. I am 32 and I have never felt so alone. I wish he would have reciprocated the love I felt for him and come back to me. Im anxious that he would move on and I have not had the courage to go on fb or delete him yet. Right now all you can do is focus on yourself and stop worrying about things that you cant change. Its hard and I always forget myself but Im constantly reminding myself to do that. I took my breakup really hard because I didnt have a direction or a goal. I focused everything on this relationship and when that ended, i felt very hopeless and lonely. I distracted myself by working out and keeping myself busy with friends but its only a temporary relief. I have finally decided to go back to school today to get another degree. I feel so relieved knowing that I have something to focus on and its something I am passionate about.

 

I would encourage you to make small goals that is achievable. And in the mean time grab a journal and figure out what makes you happy and work towards it. Its not going to come to you right away, but in time everything will always work out. I always believed that. I would also encourage you to read a book called the power of now. It had helped me tremendously...I was so focused on the breakup i forgot about living life.

[Dylon]

There's no rejection when it ended, just two pieces of the puzzle that didn't fit. What did you love to do before him? Find those I interests again. It's your first love so it is a good learning experience to better yourself. Trust me, it will make you a better lover for the next time you fall in my. He moved on but it's not a race. Some people just deal with breakups differently. You take your time and polish your mind and body.