Complimenting a Woman without Flirting

[davema]

Men In secure happy relationships: Is it ok for them to politely compliment another woman they know on how she's dressed (like a new dress or a new outfit) or how her hair looks or how her perfume smells great and things of that nature?

[RecentChange]

Hum...

 

There is a fine line for sure.

 

Purfume? I wouldn't comment on a woman's sent if you don't want to be flirty. Maybe it's because I am such a "sent" person (plays a big role in my attraction), but "you smell good" can be very flirty.

 

I am thinking of compliments my boss tosses my way because he is totally non flirty.

 

Hair, it depends. "Hey that's a good looking new haircut" can be friendly, but not flirty. Your hair looks great, kinda flirty.

 

Clothes, "that's a great color" is friendly, while "that looks great on you" can be a bit flirty.

[GorillaTheater]

Every once in a while I'll compliment a female co-worker on a new hair style or something, although I'm sure I don't notice that sort of thing far more often than I do. I'm not doing it for any nefarious reason (besides maybe adding a little cement to a good working relationship), and I trust that they realize that.

 

I once made Major Brownie Points by noticing that a female co-worker lost a bit of weight. That sort of thing never hurts.

[mammasita]

I think hair and perfume might be a bit much....like treading dangerously into flirting territory much JMO, even if that's not your intention, but a compliment about an outfit, or even weight loss isn't bad.

 

I get outfit compliments from male coworkers. Usually on days we have to "suit up"....not taken as a flirt ever.

 

My disclaimer, though, is that all women are different and what one doesn't consider a flirt, the next will.

[GorillaTheater]

Hair, it depends. "Hey that's a good looking new haircut" can be friendly, but not flirty. Your hair looks great, kinda flirty.

 

I think hair and perfume might be a bit much....like treading dangerously into flirting territory much JMO, even if that's not your intention,

 

Man, this is kind of surprising. I never would have guessed I may be on thin ice with the hair thing.

 

I probably ought to quit with the "hey! nice ass!" comments, too.

[jen1447]

Men In secure happy relationships: Is it ok for them to politely compliment another woman they know on how she's dressed (like a new dress or a new outfit) or how her hair looks or how her perfume smells great and things of that nature?

 

I think it's fine. It's all about intent, and as long as your compliments are genuine and it's clear that you're not fishing for anything or taking liberties, IMO it's all good.

[mammasita]

Man, this is kind of surprising. I never would have guessed I may be on thin ice with the hair thing.

 

I probably ought to quit with the "hey! nice ass!" comments, too.

 

I think if you don't smack it and lick your lips as you walk by, you're good.

[davema]

Fine line, I agree...

[sandylee1]

I think it's fine. I'm happy to receive the complements and think nothing more. ....I'm not sure I'd want my husband to comment on other women's perfume. The hair I don't mind.

[mrs rubble]

Hum...

 

There is a fine line for sure.

 

Purfume? I wouldn't comment on a woman's sent if you don't want to be flirty. Maybe it's because I am such a "sent" person (plays a big role in my attraction), but "you smell good" can be very flirty.

 

I am thinking of compliments my boss tosses my way because he is totally non flirty.

 

Hair, it depends. "Hey that's a good looking new haircut" can be friendly, but not flirty. Your hair looks great, kinda flirty.

 

Clothes, "that's a great color" is friendly, while "that looks great on you" can be a bit flirty.

I disagree, I told my married co-worker he smelt good the other day...I was not flirting.....he did smell good.

I'm always telling people if I think they look good too, if I was flirting there'd be "the look" to go with it, and perhaps a casual hand on the shoulder or something...not everyone who compliments others have ulterior motives.

[todreaminblue]

commenting on smell to me means the guy complimenting may be standing too close to be just friendly.....especially if the room is full of women....

 

i think its fine to compliment women if the guy is in a relationship if the compliment is classy to begin with.....denotes friendship more than physicality

 

the nicest compliment i have had in awhile....is a man who commented that i was glowing...i thought that was sweet and said more about my smile and my face than anything else...i truly appreciated that he noticed i was happy......i would put that as a classy compliment....he is married and also my bishop....he knows his words and how to put them...and just a genuine type of old school gentleman.....his wife is just as sweet...lovely couple.......deb

Edited November 14, 2015 by todreaminblue

[Myragal]

There are variables but in general it comes down to:

 

If I was with my partner and the person I was complimenting was with their partner...would we all be fine with what I said?

 

In general compliments are fine. No 'rules' as cultures, social situations, etc. vary. We just need to be aware of our own particular circumstances.

[S_A]

I compliment. I won't compliment on scent though.

 

I like to compliment at work, and often on Mondays which is when people seem to be grumpy. Like a few weeks ago a girl came back from vacation looking tanned and I told her it looked great. When I drop these compliments on women I tend to sort of disengage myself as quickly (and casually) as possible so that they don't wonder if I am flirting or hitting on them. I think lingering and going on about it can confuse your message.

 

The cool thing is that after the compliments they feel really happy all day long and I say to myself "I did that"

 

Also, I would not compliment people 24/7 because the compliments will start to lose substance. In the case with the girl with the tan, she'd wake up the next morning feeling cheery still because she still has the tan that she got complimented, and she will feel hot. So no need to compliment her on it again.

 

Edit: I definitely will compliment hair or shoes if there is a reason to. Only thing I don't compliment on make up or scent. I don't compliment on scent not because it's too flirty (I suppose it would be), but I'd rather the girl NOT think that I know she normally does not smell great on her own (without the fragrance) because the woman is supposed to always smell great *wink wink*. Don't know if that makes sense.

Edited November 14, 2015 by S_A

[Maggie4]

I don't welcome compliments on my appearance or scent from men, unless they're flirting. I really like compliments from women, because other women know women's hair and fashion. In fact, if a man compliments me on an outfit, and I have no romantic interest in him, I would make sure I never wear that outfit again around him.

[S_A]

I don't welcome compliments on my appearance or scent from men, unless they're flirting. I really like compliments from women, because other women know women's hair and fashion. In fact, if a man compliments me on an outfit, and I have no romantic interest in him, I would make sure I never wear that outfit again around him.

 

 

The men in my family used to manufacture and design high end women's clothes that were sold at higher-end department stores. Not sure why you think a man should not know women's fashion.

 

 

What I've perceived is that women tend to compete. If a woman compliments you, there is a chance she actually thinks what you're wearing is total crap, and that may actually make her happy. Men on the other hand don't have a dog in the fight.

 

 

Yeah, true, a lot of men may not know what looks good on a woman, but I'd say most men know what smells good.

 

 

If you're dating men that don't know jack squat about what smells good and what looks good on you, then you might be dating men that don't know anything about women.