Anyone experienced tiredness of dating?

[Vilgefoz]

Hallo,

 

Maybe you could call me "forever alone". In my age of 27, I did have sex few times... once it wasgreat, rest meh,... But never had a real girlfriend. In younger years I did try hard to change it, since 25 I somewhat resignated and focused to other parts of life, now I just don't feel much motivation to do anything about it. For instance, there is one girl... she do seem to like me and I find her appeapling too but... I feel like I am too lazy and uninterested undergoing these tension-uncertainty-possible failure feelings when getting to know with her and idea of leaving whole thing be sounds more appealing... Maybe there is real chance to change my status of forever alone, but after all thoses years I don't feel of giving a damn... Possibly it's fear of failure, possibly lazyness...

 

I don't know... Just getting a feedback. What do you think?

 

 

 

...what I could do a) there is small chance of success b) singificant success of failure and feeling of being frustrated c) if I leave things be, I will have my peace and quite. Sometimes maybe sorrow and loneliness, but in general peace and quite...

 

just writing down my thoughts as they flow...

[Male]

Every day.

 

Putting up with the bs of what it takes to deal with how many women act nowadays has pretty much burned me out. I really have minimal interest in the whole process. It is such a one-sided slanted venture because most of the women know very well that they will always have options, and always have guys knocking at their door, so they excert and invest very little, thinking if the guy really wants to date her, than he will jump through as many hoops as it takes.

 

I will initiate and approach....but after that it better be 50/50 as far as communication and scheduling. I dont care who the hell she thinks she is, if she doesnt return the respect and time I put in, she is gone. But instead of women seeing that as confidence, and dignitiy, they bash it, and label me because it disrupts the apple cart and godforbid might make other men grow a spine as well.

[Vilgefoz]

Every day.

 

Putting up with the bs of what it takes to deal with how many women act nowadays has pretty much burned me out. I really have minimal interest in the whole process. It is such a one-sided slanted venture because most of the women know very well that they will always have options, and always have guys knocking at their door, so they excert and invest very little, thinking if the guy really wants to date her, than he will jump through as many hoops as it takes.

 

I will initiate and approach....but after that it better be 50/50 as far as communication and scheduling. I dont care who the hell she thinks she is, if she doesnt return the respect and time I put in, she is gone. But instead of women seeing that as confidence, and dignitiy, they bash it, and label me because it disrupts the apple cart and godforbid might make other men grow a spine as well.

 

hey man,

 

They think they will always have an option but it is not true. Once they startb age (some sooner, some later) their options begin to decrease rapidly. Particularly if they are after divorce and even have kids...

 

 

 

Remember this lesson for the rest of your life: there is no such thing as "justice". And there never was, ever. What is for one just and normal is for another unfair. Justice is just matter of oprinion and nothing else. Here is an example: A guy knocks on your door. He is salesman and offers you smartphone. He is well dressed, he has been walking many miles to get to your door and his selling performance is really great. You like how is he talking about this smartphone. (as a matter of fact you are just wearing old rugged pyjams and your own sales performance is not nearly half of his.) His living depends on that smartphone, if he doesn't sell all this work will be for nothing. Yet knowing all these things you still tell him NO! Why? Simply because you alreadu got one or you can get better for same price or simply you don't buy stuff from home-salesman. You close the door and you return to your sofa. Do you feel guilt for him? Barely. Maybe for a minute but as soon as you take a cup of cofee and have a sip your memory of him is long gone. Now here comes the funny part: when it comes to dating, you are that salesman and commitment is your product. And girl refuses you for whatever her reason is. Just as she refused several other salesmen that week. And if she want that product, she even finds salesmen she likes by herself - maybe in some shop her friend reccomended her. I know it because I have been in your shoes few years ago and even now I exactly remeber how it felt.

 

 

Now, do you still think there's something wrong when girl refuses you despite you commitement?

[Male]

hey man,

 

They think they will always have an option but it is not true. Once they startb age (some sooner, some later) their options begin to decrease rapidly. Particularly if they are after divorce and even have kids...

 

 

 

Remember this lesson for the rest of your life: there is no such thing as "justice". And there never was, ever. What is for one just and normal is for another unfair. Justice is just matter of oprinion and nothing else. Here is an example: A guy knocks on your door. He is salesman and offers you smartphone. He is well dressed, he has been walking many miles to get to your door and his selling performance is really great. You like how is he talking about this smartphone. (as a matter of fact you are just wearing old rugged pyjams and your own sales performance is not nearly half of his.) His living depends on that smartphone, if he doesn't sell all this work will be for nothing. Yet knowing all these things you still tell him NO! Why? Simply because you alreadu got one or you can get better for same price or simply you don't buy stuff from home-salesman. You close the door and you return to your sofa. Do you feel guilt for him? Barely. Maybe for a minute but as soon as you take a cup of cofee and have a sip your memory of him is long gone. Now here comes the funny part: when it comes to dating, you are that salesman and commitment is your product. And girl refuses you for whatever her reason is. Just as she refused several other salesmen that week. And if she want that product, she even finds salesmen she likes by herself - maybe in some shop her friend reccomended her. I know it because I have been in your shoes few years ago and even now I exactly remeber how it felt.

 

 

Now, do you still think there's something wrong when girl refuses you despite you commitement?

 

Of course I do.....

 

Because the tools most women use to determine which guy they like are usually worthless. Most of us have female friends that we know personally. Many of us have female friends that tell us how it really is, and how women really think and act when they arent putting on their bull**** act in front of guys. All the women that I have known personally are the types that dont really get a long with most women. Because they cant stand the fake catty behavior that many of them exhibit. Anyone on here that tries to say they've never seen it is either blatantly lying, or is just ignorant to it. Women I know openly admit that they make irrational emotional decisions all the time and how they "hate acting like typical women do" in certain situations. A lot of times they catch themselves, and are aware of it beforehand, but theres still alot of times they say they dont realize what they did until afterwards.

[loveweary11]

Don't ever expect women to use logic in selecting a mate.

 

In fact, don't expect anyone to use logic to make any choice.

 

Most of the times, humans make an almost instant emotional decision, then rationalize it later by usung logic (but not with love ).

 

Speaking of sales, what I wrote above is the key to exceeding quotas.

 

People choose emotionally.

 

Women and men choose their partners based on feelings. Figure out how to make them feel good around you. Feel better than anyone else. Feel that you're the best one they will find.

 

Then, you'll have a lot of female attention.

 

Lose the logic. Has nothing to do with it.

[Mrlonelyone]

I have to say yes to this. Online dating can only be don in six month blocks. Six on six off or one on one off. If you look through all the active profiles eventually all the ones ripe for the picking are picked. Or they give up.

 

If a relationship ends you just have to give yourself time to heal. To really get over it and stop hurting. To get to that place where you really don't care anymore and are really you. Then you can date again. Ideally...some people move from one R to another R without a break with no consequences until they find "the one".

[Male]

Don't ever expect women to use logic in selecting a mate.

 

In fact, don't expect anyone to use logic to make any choice.

 

Most of the times, humans make an almost instant emotional decision, then rationalize it later by usung logic (but not with love ).

 

Speaking of sales, what I wrote above is the key to exceeding quotas.

 

People choose emotionally.

 

Women and men choose their partners based on feelings. Figure out how to make them feel good around you. Feel better than anyone else. Feel that you're the best one they will find.

 

Then, you'll have a lot of female attention.

 

Lose the logic. Has nothing to do with it.

 

I agree with you to a point.

 

But MOST men will visit a store, with a specific need and specific item. They will get the item, checkout, and leave the store.

 

MOST women will go to a store and linger around, looking at this, that, and the other thing, trying to talk themselves out of or talk themselves into purchasing something that they want but really dont need. A lot of women will go look at a dress, leave the area, going to another dept, and return 2 sometimes 3 times looking at the same dress over and over.

 

I used to be in Loss Prevention for a major retail chain and have spent hundreds of hours watching the totally different shopping style of men and women.

[TheBathWater]

God, yes. I am tired of dating like you wouldn't believe. I am 31 years old. Thanks to online dating, instant gratification culture, and a western society which explicitly promotes promiscuity, I date more women now than ever before in my life, get laid consistently, and yet I am more frustrated and fed up than ever before. I don't want just sex; I want a partner, a best friend, someone who I love and who loves me. I don't care if we get old and unattractive, or if we fight sometimes and say things we don't mean. I just want to know she will be there to put up with my ridiculous jokes, encourage my absurd ideas in business and in life, and tell me "you can do it; I love you." That's it. I think our generation is more screwed up than any other before when it comes to actual relationships and this is going to morph into something far worse than we ever imagined. Just watch.

 

I always come close to throwing in the towel, but I'm way too much of a love glutton and someone with hope to ever fully surrender. But yeah, I'm tired as hell and absolutely hate dating.

[neowulf]

I'm fighting hard lately against a very fatalistic attitude towards dating.

 

I've had so many failed relationships now that I've begun to feel like it's just never going to happen for me.

 

I've tried to push it all to the back of my head, focus on other things.. but for christ sakes.. I'm 37... I'm so far off the map I had for myself and my life that I often don't know what to do anymore.

 

I've decided to take it a day at a time and focus on making small, measurable improvements to my life.

 

The fact is, you can't "force" your way into a life long relationship like marriage. You have to simply be in the right place at the right time.

 

But yes, I frequently burn out on dating for long spells. It's a draining, often disheartening experience.

[Vilgefoz]

 

1) Speaking of sales, what I wrote above is the key to exceeding quotas.

 

People choose emotionally.

 

2) Women and men choose their partners based on feelings. Figure out how to make them feel good around you. Feel better than anyone else. Feel that you're the best one they will find.

 

Then, you'll have a lot of female attention.

 

Lose the logic. Has nothing to do with it.

 

Ok, the Pickup Artist:

 

1) sometimes. And sometimes not. When you buy clothes for instance, there is little rational reasonong. You like-you buy. When you sing up insurance contracts, emotions play little role.

 

2) That's easy: be handsome. Be popular. When you are a bit older and meet let's say 21+ girls, be really confidfent, even theatral (above average and fake it if you can). Later, be well socially and financially secured.

 

Once you fill out at least several of criterias above, they will start telling you "how nice you are, how you are smart and carring, how beautiful personality you have and you make them feel great".

 

Welcome to real life and yeah, just as you say - "logic".

[Vilgefoz]

Of course I do.....

 

Because the tools most women use to determine which guy they like are usually worthless. Most of us have female friends that we know personally. Many of us have female friends that tell us how it really is, and how women really think and act when they arent putting on their bull**** act in front of guys. All the women that I have known personally are the types that dont really get a long with most women. Because they cant stand the fake catty behavior that many of them exhibit. Anyone on here that tries to say they've never seen it is either blatantly lying, or is just ignorant to it. Women I know openly admit that they make irrational emotional decisions all the time and how they "hate acting like typical women do" in certain situations. A lot of times they catch themselves, and are aware of it beforehand, but theres still alot of times they say they dont realize what they did until afterwards.

 

Please introduce me to some of your female friends . The last female friend I had was when I was 6 y. o. ... Which is the reason I probably know so little of women.

 

They are fake...hmm... yes, I can see that. But what? This is the face they show me - cold, stone carved, or simply, never expressing theor real needs. What am I supposed to think? I do 2 things: a) study. There is let's call it "scientific branch" called Evolutionary bilology that tells you a lot of us, human species. According to that you can start understand society as a whole and also idividual's intentions. 2) once I learn that, I observe. Thrying to test theory in real life. And guess what - evolutionary biology is virtually the only theory that so far is proving to be true and working. All other opinions of people I heard or read are simply... not working.

[Vilgefoz]

 

Because the tools most women use to determine which guy they like are usually worthless.

 

 

as a matter of fact, I see nothing irrational in female behaviour, thinking of it.

 

a) look is important because it determines physical resistance for diseases of her potential offspring. We choose partners instinctively based on how good offspring with hiw would be

b) status is important because it determines how good life possibilities your offspring with such partner will have.

c) finanes and social standing - same as status

d) commitment - it's important for woment to have steady partner who will care of her and her offspring. Otherwise her reproduction efforts might turn futile.

 

 

Do you see somthing weird about it ? Something irrational? I don't.

 

But people don't like this sort of talk because it tells them they are not "unique snowflakes chosen by God". Suddenly they feel they are just generic members of biological specie, somebody who is under influence of cold benevolent nature and investigated by science. And that makes them feel veery bad, disliking everybody who speaks things like that. I am used to it

[Vilgefoz]

God, yes. I am tired of dating like you wouldn't believe. I am 31 years old. Thanks to online dating, instant gratification culture, and a western society which explicitly promotes promiscuity, I date more women now than ever before in my life, get laid consistently, and yet I am more frustrated and fed up than ever before. I don't want just sex; I want a partner, a best friend, someone who I love and who loves me. I don't care if we get old and unattractive, or if we fight sometimes and say things we don't mean. I just want to know she will be there to put up with my ridiculous jokes, encourage my absurd ideas in business and in life, and tell me "you can do it; I love you." That's it. I think our generation is more screwed up than any other before when it comes to actual relationships and this is going to morph into something far worse than we ever imagined. Just watch.

 

I always come close to throwing in the towel, but I'm way too much of a love glutton and someone with hope to ever fully surrender. But yeah, I'm tired as hell and absolutely hate dating.

 

man... what should I tell... Let's swap please .

 

Sounds a little bit like middle age crisis. If you say you meet them via online dating, from what I have heard I suppose a) you are very handsome man and for that reason you have no bigger issues dating women or b) you date fat ones . Because that's what all people say of dating sites.

 

Well, good luck finding a correct one. And meanwhile - enjoy sex (not everybody can afford this luxury, mind you...)

[Vilgefoz]

I'm fighting hard lately against a very fatalistic attitude towards dating.

 

I've had so many failed relationships now that I've begun to feel like it's just never going to happen for me.

 

I've tried to push it all to the back of my head, focus on other things.. but for christ sakes.. I'm 37... I'm so far off the map I had for myself and my life that I often don't know what to do anymore.

 

I've decided to take it a day at a time and focus on making small, measurable improvements to my life.

 

The fact is, you can't "force" your way into a life long relationship like marriage. You have to simply be in the right place at the right time.

 

But yes, I frequently burn out on dating for long spells. It's a draining, often disheartening experience.

 

I am sorry for your pain.

 

 

 

Maybe a middle age crysis? Or maybe you had stressful time?

 

Well as long as you are having dates, relationships it's good. That means there is need for you. Maybe you need a bit rest? A little change in life? Maybe you miss having children? POssibly? Because I would, being in your age.

 

I have a feeling you have a LOT of unresolved questions in your mind. I would suggest you to hire a professional coach - they are great in figuring out what makes you happy and how to achieve it.

 

Best luck!

 

V.

[StBreton]

Don't ever expect women to use logic in selecting a mate.

 

In fact, don't expect anyone to use logic to make any choice.

 

Most of the times, humans make an almost instant emotional decision, then rationalize it later by usung logic (but not with love ).

 

Speaking of sales, what I wrote above is the key to exceeding quotas.

 

People choose emotionally.

 

Women and men choose their partners based on feelings. Figure out how to make them feel good around you. Feel better than anyone else. Feel that you're the best one they will find.

 

Then, you'll have a lot of female attention.

 

Lose the logic. Has nothing to do with it.

 

I must be a unicorn then ...I always use logic. But I'm a science brainy girl.

[Vilgefoz]

I must be a unicorn then ...I always use logic. But I'm a science brainy girl.

 

 

if you mean it virtually and you are scientist or person inclining to science, than welcome sis! I somewhat apply knowldge that I gain by reading papers into my intimate life too... quite usefull, actually...