Warriors Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 I dont want to ring a false alarm, I know I may of thought I might of been on the way to getting her back in the summer when I was begging, arguing and trying to convince her. I havent been on this forum since August at least. We broke up early July after a year. The arguing, begging, mind games and heart break came after the following couple months.. I chased her all the way until late September. At this point she was talking to this other guy and bound to meet up with him so I pulled myself out of the situation completely before ever giving them the satisfaction of me crying / being hurt over it. So I went ghost a day after her birthday. I was witnessing the worst, she was falling for somebody else and being replaced. She ended up with him in a relationship. Slept together and all. Besides them being together, I knew nothing about their relationship. I was heartbroken as can be, but they wouldn't know. After nearly a month of no contact, started getting private calls every couple days. Then finally a week ago she texts me and didn't reply til the next day. Apparently shes breaking up with him, he's a monster abusive cheater and barely lasted a month. Now she's re-added me on social media for the first time since we were together. Re-added ppl from my family and is texting me and calling me on a daily basis talking as if were going to work this out. She's saying she wants to re-establish what we had before we was together. My concerns are that if Im a rebound of the rebound. lol I dont want to be used or played with.. She's still going back and fourth with him, he's threatening her and all that. Though Im glad she's back in my life right now, Im still very very hurt that she slept with this guy. I think she still has feelings for him too so Im just very careful and cautious with her right now. If we can meet up soon, ( which were talking about ) and everything goes well, I hope we can become happier than we ever was for the holidays and into 2016. It will be hard and seems like a messy situation thats why Im worried. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 The question is if you're eager to get dumped again. If you do, give her a second chance. She left you for someone else, has been with him for few month and after he cheats on her (It means, he didn't love her and maybe dumped her), she wants you back.... It is the worst position for you to be. If she would have taken some time to think and to understand herself, or if her journey was for couple of years, it might work. But she just jumps from one guy to another so quickly, without even trying to take time figuring out what does she want... and you are just another station on the road. Please don't fall for it, and as a bonus, tell her that you've thought about it, and you deserve a better Gf, not one who jumps from bed to bed, and go NC. She will freak out of course, but hey... It's your moment now... enjoy it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 I'd feel better about her contacting if she had already broken up with him a while back and has not been dating and really thinking about what she wants and where she wants to go. Going from him right back to you is a recipe for disaster. You are her fall back. She's hurt now because this other guy didn't work out. Don't be that fall back option because that's all you are, an option. She cannot be sincere with you right now. I don't buy it at all. "I think she still has feelings for him too" You're right she does "My concerns are that if Im a rebound of the rebound" you are "I dont want to be used or played with" then don't allow her back in "She's still going back and fourth with him" Because she has feeling for him and thinks it still might work out "Im still very very hurt that she slept with this guy" and if you got right back with her you would continue to feel that way and continuously wonder if she's still seeing him behind your back or someone else because you wont trust her. "Now she's re-added me on social media for the first time since we were together. Re-added ppl from my family and is texting me and calling me on a daily basis talking as if were going to work this out. She's saying she wants to re-establish what we had before we was together." This is because you begged and pleaded to get back and she knows you feel the same way now. Block her on social media and ignore her calls and text. Maybe send one last text that says that you are not willing to take her back. You are allowing her to feel like she can just come back into your life so easily after SHE LEFT YOU! Why make this so easy? because you never healed from the past relationship which is what you must do in order to reconcile in the future. I would not say this if I didn't see so many red flags. I would love to see more people be able to reconcile, but this is not a situation where it will work out long term. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Warriors Posted November 16, 2015 Author Share Posted November 16, 2015 No she didnt jump into a relationship with another guy so quickly. She started talking to him a month and a half after we broke up. She talks to him for a month in September. I let her go as she ended up meeting up with him and being in a relationship for a month in October... She broke up with him, he hit her, threatened her , verbally abusive talking to like 3 other chicks. She claims it was an all time low for her dating experience. All within the first month.. I started getting private calls every couple days around Halloween, she unblocks me few days before she finally texted me about a week ago. Now were talking all the time. I dunno.. Thanks for the advice. I guess Ill see what happens here. Im being careful. Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 No she didnt jump into a relationship with another guy so quickly. She started talking to him a month and a half after we broke up. She talks to him for a month in September. I let her go as she ended up meeting up with him and being in a relationship for a month in October... She broke up with him, he hit her, threatened her , verbally abusive talking to like 3 other chicks. She claims it was an all time low for her dating experience. All within the first month.. I started getting private calls every couple days around Halloween, she unblocks me few days before she finally texted me about a week ago. Now were talking all the time. I dunno.. Thanks for the advice. I guess Ill see what happens here. Im being careful. Well, she broke up with you then a month later she gets in a relationship with this guy who treated her so bad, immediately after that she is calling back!!! i guarantee you she has issues that she needs to work on. maybe just being immature and inexperienced or maybe character issues. abviousely you still have feelings for her otherwise you wouldn't be here, if that's the case you should be very careful, because if she hasn't addressed her issues, chances are she will do it to you again. you can't afford to invest a lot of emotions on her at this moment which is hard to do when you already have strong feelings toward her, that's why people here would just advise you to forget about her and move on. but if you somehow wants to explore the possibility of a second chance, first you have to make a huge efforts containing your emotions until she addresses her issues. before you even talk to her she will have to cut all ties with this other guy, I mean 0 contacts with him, if not don't even bother. then you will have to investigate why she did it and most importantly what changed. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 Read what I posted that talks about not holding a grudge. If you can't get over the fact she broke up with you and dated someone else for a while then don't take her back. You are still hurting too much. Consider this https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201401/7-reasons-most-people-are-afraid-love Link to post Share on other sites
fiskadoro Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 It sounds like you are mad at her for having sex with someone else while she was broken up with you. Get over it if you want her back in your life, that's way too possessive. People in relationships have sex, and she was in one, correct? Single people have sex too. All she can do is apologize for her behavior in your relationship, and be free and clear of this other guy before you get back with her. IMO the problem isn't that she slept with another guy as a single woman, the problem is she is still talking with him and now saying she wants to get back with you. Absolutely no double dipping is allowed. Link to post Share on other sites
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