I really, really miss her. [UPDATED]

[Protec]

Aaaaaaand we all told you that you would not get closure. We all told you to avoid seeing her. Maybe next time you will actually listen to us because we know what we are talking about. Hopefully this does not set you back in your recovery because you are not over her and you slept in the same bed as her so no doubt this will set you back big time (hopefully I am wrong) it wasn't really smart of you on your part. Especially you saying "Why don't you stay until tuesday?" You should have just been like "Want to leave tommorow? Ok have a safe trip."

 

In either case, I hope you learned your lesson and just close the book on her. Send her stuff via Fed Ex or whatever and NC her. Thats it, no more contact. She is no good for you and she seems confused, bipolar, insecure, basically a headache all around. However, I have a feeling you still wont follow NC with her.

 

You were right.But I had my reasons for having her over. All she remembers is the negative stuff. All she sees in me is the negative stuff. "oh, you drink few beers and start arguing like back then huh?". No. I don't argue for no reason, if i drink or not. I don't want to fight with people.

 

I just wanted to show her i am not the man she thinks i am.

 

Oh! And i asked her just out of curiousity "do you ever miss the times, when we lived together, played Mario Kart and had fun etc? =)" Her reply "I am not there yet." Not there yet. She hasn't given a single thought about our past?

 

I took a step back at my healing for sure. It was weird having her sleeping next to me again. I only blame myself for getting close to her.

 

But she hugged me first.

When we were done eating, i washed some dishes, she came next to me, hugged me and said "thank you :)"

 

Maybe she honestly thought i was over her and we are just friends?

She messed me up by feeling my stomach and hugging me.

[Protec]

I still wonder. She spent 70 euros to get to my place. Stayed one night. Then spent 100 euros to leave again. At one point she said "i was thinking about staying here until friday".

 

i swear only bad thing i said to her was "i don't really care about your date".

And yeah, i kinda showed it to her i still have feelings for her....

[Mrlovahlovah]

stop it! for the love of god!

 

stop analysing yourself and beating yourself up based on the criticism of an unbalanced, probably mentally ill and basically ****ty person.

i'm sure you've been more than good to her during your relationship.the only thing that you need to work on is your self esteem, because you are obviously lacking in that department if you let someone else control your life the way she does. it's like you are her puppet. and yes that could be a problem in relationships. not this one though. this one was destined to end the minute it started, because this girl is a nuttbag.

 

i mean, i'm sure she has great sides to her too, and you guys had a lot of fun at some point, but this sort of behaviour is not some passing phase or a result of your behaviour (she's abusing it since you're letting her but that's something else). if she can change and become a balanced decent partner to somebody it's her choice and her choice only. and ain't nobody got time for that!

 

so ship that ****. block her out and even send some snappy message telling her the games are over and to never contact you again.you'll feel good about yourself. trust me.

[Shock148]

Maybe thats why she decided to leave. She got uncomfortable because she thought maybe you guys are just friends at this point (her not knowing that you still want her while she has already moved on and dating someone else) and decided I will just leave tomorrow no matter the cost. She planned to stay longer because she views you as only a friend and thought you did as well. She is definitely wrong for getting mad because you didnt want to know about her date, but she seems like a broken women honestly. Just take it as a lesson learned. She got most of her stuff, she told you to mail her the rest (you should really have told her give me the money to pay for the shipping because why should you spend your money?) and just NC her and move on.

[frigginlost]

You were right.But I had my reasons for having her over. All she remembers is the negative stuff. All she sees in me is the negative stuff. "oh, you drink few beers and start arguing like back then huh?". No. I don't argue for no reason, if i drink or not. I don't want to fight with people.

 

I just wanted to show her i am not the man she thinks i am.

 

Oh! And i asked her just out of curiousity "do you ever miss the times, when we lived together, played Mario Kart and had fun etc? =)" Her reply "I am not there yet." Not there yet. She hasn't given a single thought about our past?

 

I took a step back at my healing for sure. It was weird having her sleeping next to me again. I only blame myself for getting close to her.

 

But she hugged me first.

When we were done eating, i washed some dishes, she came next to me, hugged me and said "thank you :)"

 

Maybe she honestly thought i was over her and we are just friends?

She messed me up by feeling my stomach and hugging me.

 

You showed her you are exactly the man she thinks you are.

 

A push-over.

 

She has absolutely zero respect for you, and your actions confirm to her that she will never have respect for you.

 

No matter how much you want that to not be the case, it is.

 

Her opinion of you based on *your actions* is dropping with each interaction. Amazing you can't see that.

 

Stop looking for closure. Stop talking with her. Vanish. For the love of everything, vanish. It is your only hope if you want her to have a touch of respect for you.

[Blanco]

I didn't even read that mess because the title was enough information. Do everyone here a favor: When this girl inevitably starts playing games and belittling you again, DON'T come here seeking advice. You already got plenty and disregarded it all the first time.

[Shock148]

And don't read too much into the sex talk, it really means nothing. I have ex girlfriends who I am friends with today (we are both way over each other and don't want one another) and times when we are tipsy hanging out we reminisce about our sex life in the past because if the sex was good that's something you never forget. It really means nothing. It doesnt mean that she wants to have sex with you at all so just get that out of your head.

 

As of matter of fact, stop thinking about anything that happened that night. You messed up big time in general. First she treats you like crap but you pick her up from the train station, you cook dinner for her, you buy her beer, you let her sleep in your bed with you, and you ask her to stay longer. Dude.....she has you by the balls and like we said in the other thread, you are her plaything. She finds amusement using you.

Edited October 5, 2015 by Shock148

[Protec]

Maybe thats why she decided to leave. She got uncomfortable because she thought maybe you guys are just friends at this point (her not knowing that you still want her while she has already moved on and dating someone else) and decided I will just leave tomorrow no matter the cost. She planned to stay longer because she views you as only a friend and thought you did as well. She is definitely wrong for getting mad because you didnt want to know about her date, but she seems like a broken women honestly. Just take it as a lesson learned. She got most of her stuff, she told you to mail her the rest (you should really have told her give me the money to pay for the shipping because why should you spend your money?) and just NC her and move on.

 

I already asked for her address. I will send the stuff to her tomorrow.

[Blanco]

So then why are you cooking dinner for a broken girl? Letting a broken girl sleep in your bed with you? Asking a broken girl to stay longer?

 

You need to quit pinning the blame all on her, because at this point, you're as responsible for this mess as she is.

 

edit: nice of you to edit out the part where you say she's "broken"

[Shock148]

So then why are you cooking dinner for a broken girl? Letting a broken girl sleep in your bed with you? Asking a broken girl to stay longer?

 

You need to quit pinning the blame all on her, because at this point, you're as responsible for this mess as she is.

 

edit: nice of you to edit out the part where you say she's "broken"

 

Easy, he did it to basically tell her he wants her back because he is a good man who can cook, who wants to have a good time with her, and show her how he can take care of her....even though she has zero respect for him and constantly belittles him. At which point she got uncomfortable and left. Maybe that's also the reason why she brings up all the bad things when you two are around each other or talking. She knows exactly why she does not want to be with you and constantly brings it up to SHOW YOU that it is over and there is absolutely no chance that she will be coming back into your arms as a girlfriend. You really needed to grow a pair of balls and fight back then worse comes to worse kick her out YOUR HOUSE and tell her you will send her stuff via fed ex because you are tired of her bs. Maybe then she would have rethought about her actions and possibly felt a little bit guilty and dare I say, maybe have a little pinch of respect for you. But once again you showed how much of a p*ssy push over little boy you are. Sorry but the truth hurts.

 

Also you said "She was very happy and lively the whole time. Completely different what she was when we were together." Doesn't that tell you something? She is happy not being with you. Why would she go back to you? Just move on.

Edited October 5, 2015 by Shock148

[Protec]

Yeah, i handled this whole thing wrong. Now it's my best change to go NC.

 

I really haven't had NC at all. I haven't really been out from her life at all. Ever since breakup we have been talking more or less.

 

In the future i need to be tougher and not let people control me so much.

[Shock148]

Yeah, i handled this whole thing wrong. Now it's my best change to go NC.

 

I really haven't had NC at all. I haven't really been out from her life at all. Ever since breakup we have been talking more or less.

 

In the future i need to be tougher and not let people control me so much.

 

Ok so please just NC because next thread you put up that says "Well I talked to my ex and this and this happened" I won't bother giving advice.

[Protec]

Ok so please just NC because next thread you put up that says "Well I talked to my ex and this and this happened" I won't bother giving advice.

 

I understand. But i really am glad you have listened to me. Without you i would have collapsed completely. I am greatful for that. Thank you.

 

Maybe i have watched too many hollywood movies where ex lovers fall into each others arms and lives happily ever after.

[greenleaves54]

Ok. She's a child. An immature child. You don't want to be together with a child.

 

"You are being very rude."

"You didn't ask anything about how my date went :)""

 

What kind of girl would say this after breaking up? Is she mentally ill? You dodged a bullet here mate.

 

Now quit being a doormat. She lost a great guy. Let her live her stupid, immature life. You are way better than her and shouldn't waste ONE second more of your time or do ANYTHING more for her.

[Shock148]

I understand. But i really am glad you have listened to me. Without you i would have collapsed completely. I am greatful for that. Thank you.

 

Maybe i have watched too many hollywood movies where ex lovers fall into each others arms and lives happily ever after.

 

No problem man this is why this forum exists. NC will be really hard and at times seem impossible. Just make a new thread and posts your feelings here. If you want to contact your ex with a message or letter or whatever, post it here. We can tell you exactly why it is a bad idea and give you a number of reasons on how she will react if she received it. If you get into the stage where you get angry at her and just want to send a message cursing her out and whatever, same thing, post it here, let all of your feelings out. We are here for you man.

[greenleaves54]

I just want to add:

 

She will most likely reach out again, for some stupid reason. Ignore her if she does that. Ignore ignore ignore ignore. Don't take her baits. You will think like the guy in "Gone with the wind" who says (but obviously YOU do not say anything to her): "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn". No more ****s given about her. YOU DESERVE BETTER. Trust me.

[Protec]

Ok. She's a child. An immature child. You don't want to be together with a child.

 

"You are being very rude."

"You didn't ask anything about how my date went :)""

 

What kind of girl would say this after breaking up? Is she mentally ill? You dodged a bullet here mate.

 

Now quit being a doormat. She lost a great guy. Let her live her stupid, immature life. You are way better than her and shouldn't waste ONE second more of your time or do ANYTHING more for her.

 

Thank you That actually made me feel better.

 

When she said that, i really wanted to stop the car and say "get out. now."

Well, at least i had the guts to say "i don't really care" instead of

 

"oh please tell me how wonderfully fabolous time you had with that man i am excited to know!"

 

I have blamed myself for a long time now for everything...for no reason.

[frigginlost]

Thank you That actually made me feel better.

 

When she said that, i really wanted to stop the car and say "get out. now."

Well, at least i had the guts to say "i don't really care" instead of

 

"oh please tell me how wonderfully fabolous time you had with that man i am excited to know!"

 

I have blamed myself for a long time now for everything...for no reason.

 

Take that, print it out, and put it in every room in your house!!

 

That is *exactly* where your head needs to be! Awesome!

 

You *are* better than that. And believe me, she will someday regret the crap she put you through...

[Protec]

I just want to add:

 

She will most likely reach out again, for some stupid reason. Ignore her if she does that. Ignore ignore ignore ignore. Don't take her baits. You will think like the guy in "Gone with the wind" who says (but obviously YOU do not say anything to her): "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn". No more ****s given about her. YOU DESERVE BETTER. Trust me.

 

Maybe she will reach out, maybe not. She finally has ALL her important stuff she needs. She has paid all her loans to me, there is literally NOTHING keeping us in contact anymore. I would be really, really surprised if she would contact me.

 

Oh. I gave her few painkillers to her PMS symptoms. I am too nice!!!

But she was very nice to me too. I was recovering from surgery when we met for 2nd time. She knew it and she still travelled 160km to my place and took care of me. She helped me to go to store, she cooked me food etc.

 

That was the girl i fell in love to...she was so caring, so loving. Guess it was all an act to get me hooked. Maybe she is a narcissist. Now she is just searching for another victim.

 

I deserve better. Definitely.

[Shock148]

Maybe she will reach out, maybe not. She finally has ALL her important stuff she needs. She has paid all her loans to me, there is literally NOTHING keeping us in contact anymore. I would be really, really surprised if she would contact me.

 

Oh. I gave her few painkillers to her PMS symptoms. I am too nice!!!

But she was very nice to me too. I was recovering from surgery when we met for 2nd time. She knew it and she still travelled 160km to my place and took care of me. She helped me to go to store, she cooked me food etc.

 

That was the girl i fell in love to...she was so caring, so loving. Guess it was all an act to get me hooked. Maybe she is a narcissist. Now she is just searching for another victim.

 

I deserve better. Definitely.

 

Yeah and please every time you start thinking of the good times and how nice she was to you at one point early into your relationship, quickly reflect back at how much of a bitch and a user she was to you towards the end of it and after she ended it with you. Everything happens for a reason and this happened to you so that you can toughen up. You are too soft and too nice and usually soft and nice people always get used and run over.

[Protec]

I feel so sad now i started listening one of my music tracks i created when i was single and alone...

 

[Protec]

Seems like i took more damage than i thought. I thought when her stuff was out of my sight i would feel better...

 

I was wrong. Now i feel like she is completely gone....

[Protec]

It's funny. My Ex always said "i am empathic person". Well. Not once she felt sorry for beating me around mentally. She made me really miserable at times. I mean like really, really miserable. She saw it i was hurt. She just got more power when she saw i was down.

 

And all the fights. Even if she started them, somehow i ended up apologizing from her.

 

I always said she was pretty, beautiful, stunning...i never said she was ugly. Still she said to me "i feel much more secure about my looks now than before". I adored that woman! She is very very beautiful...god damn her.

Edited October 5, 2015 by Protec

[frigginlost]

It's funny. My Ex always said "i am empathic person". Well. Not once she felt sorry for beating me around mentally. She made me really miserable at times. I mean like really, really miserable. She saw it i was hurt. She just got more power when she saw i was down.

 

And all the fights. Even if she started them, somehow i ended up apologizing from her.

 

I always said she was pretty, beautiful, stunning...i never said she was ugly. Still she said to me "i feel much more secure about my looks now than before". I adored that woman! She is very very beautiful...god damn her.

 

Ride the waves, buddy.

 

We have all ridden them. It may not seem like it right now, but your words are showing that you are healing. Be prepared, because anger is going to come and it's going to come big time with you. This is completely normal as you are closing the emotional book regarding her. Don't bury those feelings.

 

As you start to purge all those feelings, clarity is going to start creeping in.

 

Just remember, stay no contact with her. She is not a very good person. Perhaps months down the road when clarity sets in and you become indifferent you can handle a chat with her. By then, I would venture a guess that you will be so disgusted by how she acted, that you will not want to.

 

And that new pretty little thing on your arm is gonna laugh with you as you talk of her. :-)

[Protec]

Is NC acceptable if i don't delete her from whatsapp but i just don't talk at her?

 

I checked and she hasn't deleted me at least not yet from whatsapp. OR maybe she is waiting to get the rest of her stuff and then she deletes me.

 

I still wonder what she meant by "When you are over me, call me". That was...weird. That's why i hate her so much. All those mixed messages. She says she doesn't know how to talk with me, but couple of weeks ago we talked in phone for several hours.

 

In our RS i really tried to put up on her BS. But every time she started calling me immature, crazy, mentally ill, or something else and i started to feel i did something wrong...she got me, got me bad. I've never been this messed up after breakup. Never.

Edited October 5, 2015 by Protec