HayleySavage Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 Okay, I apologise if this is long winded but its been going on for a while so it may take a while to explain. I was with my partner for 10 years, I went against my natural instinct to be with him but something didn't sit right - we were perfect for eachother: best friends, great sex and looked liked the perfect couple... but something seemed to be missing. He always wanted to be somewhere else and on a regular basis would 'test' me and tell me I wasn't good enough. Fast forward 8 years and we are married, I had lost me sense of self, seperated from my friends and family and suffering from depression. His little sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I stopped seeing a lot of people in order to support him and his family. Then one day out of knowhere he leaves me, files for divorce, tells me I'm not good enough for him and that I don't have my own life so he can do better. He then starts spreading lies to all our friends telling them I have emotional problems that he just couldn't cope with anymore and that he just had to leave becuase it is just too much hard work. We are not 6 months since he left and he has told me he is missing me, he made a mistake and that he has told all our friends that what he has said is either lies or wildly exageratted. Even though he hasn't said it word for word (as I told him I don't want to hear it) he wants me back. I can't take him back, I Can't forget the things he has done or said: not just in our breakup but also before then where he made me feel not good enough for just being me and not his perfect 'woman' I Can't be with him anymore -he isn't good for me. Inn the background of all of this I developed feelings for his best friend. I don't know if they are real feelings of me just projecting feeings of what my husband was like when we first got together but I really felt like I had feelings for him. He did several very obvious things which made me feel like he had the same feelings back... but when my ex left me he never contacted me, in 6 months I didn't hear anything from him. I have found that my ex had told everyone I didn't want to hear from them (another lie) and I assume that my exes best friend is one of them? But I think I have deep feelings for the best friend and I don't know how to proceed? I think I have fallen for him and everyone tells me to leave it but it goes against my emotions... please help. Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 Are you still married? Why? Is the guy you're infatuated with married? Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 Don't get back with your Ex. He's proven himself to be untrustworthy. He doesn't have your back at all. Tell him he's done too much damage and it's over. Honestly.... his best friend..you guys ever getting together isn't a good idea. I once dated a guy after dating his friend..... It's awkward and it caused a rift in their friendship. Find someone else. ...it's far less drama. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 He did several very obvious things which made me feel like he had the same feelings back... but when my ex left me he never contacted me, in 6 months I didn't hear anything from him. I have found that my ex had told everyone I didn't want to hear from them (another lie) and I assume that my exes best friend is one of them? If he had feelings for you or an interest in acting on them, he'd have reached out regardless of what your husband said. You'd be much better off moving on... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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