Hurting13 Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 Hi Guys! Thank god I found this site! My husband of 13 years told me 2 weeks ago that he was moving on! The next night he had met someone else! Our marriage has been difficult over past year due to a massive amount of stress in his job. I have previous mental health issues and they have hit me BAD! He told me a night before my birthday! I suffer at this time of year and I am dreading Xmas! I feel lonely, broken and in despair, panicky attacks and anxiety are awful. Hugs Jackie x (from England) Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 The next night he had met someone else! No, most likely he met 'someone else' a few months ago. Wishing you lots of strength. Make sure to spend Xmas with your family. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 My husband of 13 years told me 2 weeks ago that he was moving on! The next night he had met someone else! Yeah..... No. He did not meet someone "the next night." Whomever he is with was more than likely an affair he was having whilst living with you and he threw you to the curb. I am so sorry you are hurting. But don't believe it if you are being told he just met this person. Also, research "The 180" on Marriage Builders and implement immediately. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurting13 Posted November 15, 2015 Author Share Posted November 15, 2015 I don't even think that it's the other woman, it's the fact that he has changed into this cold individual! We have no kids our 3 dogs have been our furry kids. He is not even interested in them which upsets me as it's not their fault! I am scared and anxious of being alone, been getting out with dogs and visiting friends. The man I once knew even just 4 months ago would never have been as heartless to break this news on my birthday! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 I don't even think that it's the other woman, it's the fact that he has changed into this cold individual! We have no kids our 3 dogs have been our furry kids. He is not even interested in them which upsets me as it's not their fault! I am scared and anxious of being alone, been getting out with dogs and visiting friends. The man I once knew even just 4 months ago would never have been as heartless to break this news on my birthday! Whenever he turned into that cold-arse man was probably when he started screwing around. Sorry you are going through this. It sucks big time. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 I'm sorry but your husband has been cheating on you. Start digging and I bet you will find evidence of his screwing around on you way before he announced his departure. I'm sorry that this happened but maybe in the long run you will be better off without him. In the meantime round up as much emotional support as you can 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 No way would he leave and meet another woman the next day. Please don't beg..plead..or cry in front of him. Do you work? Has he discussed finances? Splitting of assets? This divorce will take 2 years with your consent....He's been very cold hearted.. typical of people who cheat.. The stress is likely the OW putting pressure on him to leave you. Please consult with a lawyer and only discuss marital matters with your husband. Ensure that you don't get ripped off in the divorce...get everything you deserve. If you can check phone bills....his email.... anything for evidence..otherwise let him go. Hold your head up high and start investing time and energy in YOU. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
makemineamac Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 I don't even think that it's the other woman, it's the fact that he has changed into this cold individual! We have no kids our 3 dogs have been our furry kids. He is not even interested in them which upsets me as it's not their fault! I am scared and anxious of being alone, been getting out with dogs and visiting friends. The man I once knew even just 4 months ago would never have been as heartless to break this news on my birthday! Anything and everything you see from him from now on will astound you. There will be no reasoning with him, so keep discussions if you have to have them brief and to the point. Do not beg, plead or do any of those things. You will get through this but it is going to suck Big Time. You need to arm yourself with the best weapons, read here, read in other places too, find a good lawyer, and spend your time with the dogs and focusing on getting through this season with friends and family. When someone does a shift like he did he means it. He's likely all caught up in the fog of whatever type of affair he is having so again, there will be no logical reasoning with him. It won't be possible. I wish you the best and am so sorry this has happened to you. What a loser to do this to you the day before your birthday. Brutal. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stemac Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Hello Jackie how are you ? What a dirty rat he was heartless git x Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurting13 Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 Hi guys Thanks SO much for your replies and support:) He is living in the spare room but is at hers most nights. I am taking it slowly and trying to get myself strong enough to cope with what's ahead. I am at College at the moment doing a Dog Grooming course part time. I work a couple of days a week, which is difficult as he is not even helping with the dogs on those 2 days! I feel like banging his head against the wall to wake him up, he is absolutely besotted with this women, his heads in the clouds! I think he's lost it personally. I am 46, no kids, he is 49. His new women is 58 been married twice, 2nd husband left her last Xmas for another women and she has 4 kids, oh and her mother lives with her! Hugs xx Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Please don't beg, plead or ask him to stay. Just work on getting yourself together. Why is he still sleeping at your house if he's with her now? Doesn't that make it harder on you, having him there but going off to see her as if he's a single man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
makemineamac Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Jackie how's it going? You keeping it real? It's a bad situation but you need to play it cool. Let us know what's happening. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurting13 Posted November 20, 2015 Author Share Posted November 20, 2015 I have been working Tuesday and Thursday this week, I don't get home until about 8.30pm sometimes later. He was supposed to come home straight after work to look after my dogs, but he went straight to hers so I had to come home early. He did the same thing last night but got drunk and couldn't come back at all! He came flying in this morning to get changed for work. He has a high powered job so needs to get suited and booted for work! I just calmly said to him that he needs to take responsibility! They are not kids but they my furry kids and until 2 months ago they were a massive important part of his life! He's a completely different person, what is that all about? Hugs Xxx Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Why do you let him stay with you when he goes to her every night? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 I have been working Tuesday and Thursday this week, I don't get home until about 8.30pm sometimes later. He was supposed to come home straight after work to look after my dogs, but he went straight to hers so I had to come home early. He did the same thing last night but got drunk and couldn't come back at all! He came flying in this morning to get changed for work. He has a high powered job so needs to get suited and booted for work! I just calmly said to him that he needs to take responsibility! They are not kids but they my furry kids and until 2 months ago they were a massive important part of his life! He's a completely different person, what is that all about? Hugs Xxx Three words: Change. The. Locks. if he brings about legal action, file for divorce on the grounds of adultery and desertion and get a restraining order. Link to post Share on other sites
BlackButterfly727 Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I will echo the sentiments of others on this thread. He didn't just meet this person, he more than likely has known them for some time. My ex-husband left me 7 years ago. He was having an affair months before he left. My children were 9 and 6. It was tough in the beginning but I got to a place where I was no longer ashamed. If this becomes your plight know there is life after heartbreak. The two of you built a life together so if he decides to bail because he thinks "the grass is greener on the other side then it is his loss. You don't deserve to be subjected to him running in and out of your home though. Try to have a talk with him and see if he is really serious- if you see no sign of reconciliation you really should think about your quality of life (or the lack thereof) living in these conditions. Peace and blessings to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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