Rob Posted March 29, 2001 Share Posted March 29, 2001 You can not imagine being in love and not having sex? So if you love a man, and he dos not wish to engage in sex until marriage, you will not love him any more? Sex is not love, and love is not sex. Sex is an enjoyable act, and it can exist outside of love. And you don't have to be in "love" with a person, to enjoy sex. And what do you think LOVE is after all?? You said love leads to sex. What if it does not lead to sex, there is no more love??? Or maybe sex will lead to love. These are two completely different things. For me LOVE is something that is .love should be something that you feel and stays with you no matter what happens, even if it does not lead to sex. But many people think they are in love, when in fact, their dopamine and oxytocin (orgasm hormone) are up. When they come down, "love" is over!!! That's not love. Sex makes you think that you are in love, hence "making love"....It's all chemistry!!! True love is not about chemistry. I never make love. I have sex, because it just feels great. I express love in many ways, not sex. Sex is not an expression of love. Love is so much higher and HARDER, than having sex. Not everyone can love truly, sex - it's easy! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 29, 2001 Share Posted March 29, 2001 You know, Rob, you make some very good points and some of what you say make a hell of a lot of sense...to a man. But women think about this stuff a whole lot differently. Most women are capable of sport sex but eventually most find a real need to have an emotional attachment to the person they are making love/having sex with. I think in their mind it just add some legitimacy to what many of them have been taught is a nasty thing...unless you're married or in love. I agree with you. For men, sex is sex and being in love is a whole other thing. Men do not make the same sex/love connnection most women do. Laurynn is very sharp and I'm sure she will make a compelling case for the woman's point of view. But remember, men are from Mars..and women don't have a penis...I mean women are from Venus. Link to post Share on other sites
Rob Posted March 29, 2001 Share Posted March 29, 2001 Yes, Tony, I agree, but she is really wrong saying that sex is love...Please.... It's not about men, my girlfriend also regards that love is so much more than sex, and we show our love to each other in so many ways. Sex is something we both enjoy and it's fun. You know, Rob, you make some very good points and some of what you say make a hell of a lot of sense...to a man. But women think about this stuff a whole lot differently. Most women are capable of sport sex but eventually most find a real need to have an emotional attachment to the person they are making love/having sex with. I think in their mind it just add some legitimacy to what many of them have been taught is a nasty thing...unless you're married or in love. I agree with you. For men, sex is sex and being in love is a whole other thing. Men do not make the same sex/love connnection most women do. Laurynn is very sharp and I'm sure she will make a compelling case for the woman's point of view. But remember, men are from Mars..and women don't have a penis...I mean women are from Venus. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 29, 2001 Share Posted March 29, 2001 I don't think people are ever wrong feeling what they feel on a subject like this. Every person has to conclude what is true and right for them in this kind of matter. An opinion is never right or wrong, just an opinion. And I don't think it should be any other way. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilly Posted March 29, 2001 Share Posted March 29, 2001 If you want a woman's perspective, or at least this woman's, I feel that sex and love are not synonymous. I know that this may shock you men, but many woman want sex and think about sex often. Recently I ended a two month sex only relationship with this man. Needless to say I won't do that again. It was the first time I had engaged in sex without love, and although it was pleasurable, it lacked a huge dimension (love). Sometimes we all need a #####, other times we want to make love, for me in the future they both will happen with someone I love. Sex can be a means of expressing love. I think this may be hard for a man to understand, unless he is gay, but having a penis inside you is like sharing the "inner" you with another person. When I have sex with someone I feel completely open/uninhibited/vulnerable. I would not want to be that vulnerable with someone I don't love, because they wouldn't deserve to see such an intimate and private part of my being. Furthermore, sex is an expression of love because it gives us a chance to make our partners happy. And the bottom line is with love is the desire to make the one you love happy. You can not imagine being in love and not having sex? So if you love a man, and he dos not wish to engage in sex until marriage, you will not love him any more? Sex is not love, and love is not sex. Sex is an enjoyable act, and it can exist outside of love. And you don't have to be in "love" with a person, to enjoy sex. And what do you think LOVE is after all?? You said love leads to sex. What if it does not lead to sex, there is no more love??? Or maybe sex will lead to love. These are two completely different things. For me LOVE is something that is .love should be something that you feel and stays with you no matter what happens, even if it does not lead to sex. But many people think they are in love, when in fact, their dopamine and oxytocin (orgasm hormone) are up. When they come down, "love" is over!!! That's not love. Sex makes you think that you are in love, hence "making love"....It's all chemistry!!! True love is not about chemistry. I never make love. I have sex, because it just feels great. I express love in many ways, not sex. Sex is not an expression of love. Love is so much higher and HARDER, than having sex. Not everyone can love truly, sex - it's easy! Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Mojo Posted March 30, 2001 Share Posted March 30, 2001 Sex is not an expression of love. oh, yes it is when you are IN LOVE. for some people, when they are in love, having sex is a very deep and powerful physical and emotional CONNECTION. it is an expression. it is pure and it is honest. even though there are many ways people express their love for another person, this is one of those many ways. it says a lot more than flowers or words can. not everyone chooses to have sexual relations with their spouse, but so be it (that i can't understand if there is true love there). trust me, i have had "just sex" and i have literally "made love". there is a huge freakin' difference and "just sex" is something i don't ever want to have again, now that i know what it is like to make LOVE. i do understand where you are coming from - anyone can have "just sex", but not everyone can "make love". Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Mojo Posted March 30, 2001 Share Posted March 30, 2001 Recently I ended a two month sex only relationship with this man. Needless to say I won't do that again. It was the first time I had engaged in sex without love, and although it was pleasurable, it lacked a huge dimension (love). that is such a good way to describe it - "lacked a huge dimension". i understand 100% where you're coming from. it's just not the same is it? i guess this topic is a classic example of how the opinions of men and women differ when it comes to sex. Link to post Share on other sites
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