mousse Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 Hello everyone, I'm an old Loveshack member but I haven't posted in here since a very long time. In June 2010, I got dumped by a man who I thought was the love of my life. It was so bad that I ended up at the mental hospital and that I had to quit my job to rest and recover. I managed to forgive him in June 2014 and I can now say that I'm recovered. I'm not fully done with my self-work because I haven't gotten a new job yet. But I got accepted to a very good program at the university and have done an intership in May 2015 where I have gotten an excellent feedback. Sometimes a song, or a movie takes me back to this relationship, but it never lasts long. I can honestly say that I don't love him anymore. I even started dating someone new this year and it's going pretty well. I wanted to share with you some of the things I've learned along the way 1) You can recover from a very bad break up, even if so called 'experts' say that it's impossible or that it's never been done before. My ex had all the personality traits of a sociopath/person with anti social disorder. If you read about those people on the Internet, they are people that one is never supposed to get over from because they are so charismatic, intelligent and unforgettable and because they make you feel so special and loved when you're dating them. Sure, the break up and the relationship left a mark that will always be there, but I did manage to turn the page. So, I think that 'impossible is nothing' when it comes to love and dating. 2) Recovering from a traumatizing experience like a very bad break up is extremely difficult, but sticking with it is worth it, as when you're cured, the happiness and freedom you feel is amazing. This break up experience was the worst experience of my life. There were times I felt nothing, times where I couldn't sleep at all, even with sleeping pills, times where I spent my time constantly overthinking of the past and writing pages about him...it was horrible. But, ever since I've forgiven him and finished the whole process, I feel the kind of happiness I felt as a child : so simple and pure. I feel free. I feel like myself again, and I wasn't myself for a very long time, even before that man came into the picture. So, yes, it's super difficult, but the pain and suffering you go through won't be for nothing once you finish the whole Healing process. 3) Be careful of the advices you're given. I found that your best ally during your break up recovery is you. Sometimes, the people who are supposed to help you the most are the ones who don't have a clue. For example, I had read on the Internet 'don't pine for a second chance', or 'stop the overthinking process', or 'let them go'. But, forcing myself to 'let them go' or to 'think about something else' was sometimes counterproductive. At first, I really needed the hope of a second chance and the soft feeling of happiness it gave to me, at first I needed to think about it...I just wasn't ready or strong enough to accept the finality of that break up. And also, my hope in this second chance was one of the things that helped me make it through the day and made me want to live...so I say, be yourself, follow your instinct, follow your gut feeling when it comes to your break up and don't let people manipulate you into thinking you should do this or that to heal. I wish you the best of luck in your break up recovery, All the best, Mousse 2 Link to post Share on other sites
2mehappiness Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 Thanks for sharing! It gave me an ounce of hope that it will be ok in the end Link to post Share on other sites
Author mousse Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 Yes, thanks We can all make it through with the break up recovery. But it's true, it's extremely difficult, especially if the love you felt was true. ps : btw, I got a job a week after I posted this:) So you can say that my recovery is completed now 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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