Will it last?

[BeautifulIdiot]

So this is my first time posting on a forum but 3 months later I don't feel like I'm any closer to healing and it seems like there could be some people here who could help.

 

When he ended it (it shouldn't still be difficult for me to even type that, should it?) we had a week where we got the opportunity to talk which I know is a luxury a lot of people don't have.

 

Here's some background:

 

- He truly does (I need to start saying did) love me but also loves his wife. He told me never to fall in love with two people. It's hard.

- He called me when she found out and told me to wait for him to call me back. He was going home and at that point told me he cant see it ending any other way than them breaking up

- He never called me

- On Monday morning (work) he told me he could do this (us) anymore

 

I couldn't understand what had changed between Saturday morning and Monday morning so he told me that when he went home it was the first time he was really confronted not only with what he'd done but also with what he hadn't done which was try to make his marriage work.

 

So, he has to try. He says after that he can live with whatever happens, as long as he knows he really tried.

 

Here's the difficult part for me, the thing that eats me up every day and has me checking my email every time I hear the notification in case it's him. What if it doesn't work?

 

This was the purest love I ever knew and all I every wanted for him was happiness, it's all I ever wanted for me too. That's probably the thing that made it easy for us both to compartmentalize what we were doing and not feel any guilt. That part of me still wants him to be happy and if that is where his happiness lies I should be able to live with that and move on.

 

But I want to be happy too.

 

So, here's what I want to know. Does a MM ever do the right thing in his marriage, end it for the right reason and have a successful relationship with the OW?

 

I should also mention that I stumbled on the term hysterical bonding over the weekend and the thought of that has ruined any recovery I have made over the last three months. Every waking moment is spent thinking about it. Us, them, what we were to each other, what they are to each other now, is it working.....my brain and my heart both hurt.

Edited November 16, 2015 by BeautifulIdiot

[EdibleWoman]

Are you/would you be okay with being his Plan B? How long have you been having an A? Are there kids involved?

[BeautifulIdiot]

At this point in time I would be ecstatic with his plan B.

 

There are no kids involved on his side. I have two but I'm single and we were together for a year.

[minimariah]

So, here's what I want to know. Does a MM ever do the right thing in his marriage, end it for the right reason and have a successful relationship with the OW?

 

sure.

 

but in your situation -- not really sure what would those right reasons be because your lover seems to think that he loves & is IN love with both of you, which pretty much means that he has no idea what ISN'T working in his marriage.

 

so... he loves and is IN love with his wife but neglects her + cheats on her + lies to her + leads a double life + was ready to break up & dump her for you the moment she found out...? him calling all of that love is a pretty huge red flag to me.

 

i think you should move on with your life the best you know how - he chose. maybe he'll dump the wife & maybe the wife will dump him. who knows but it's pretty impossible to tell what WILL happen in the future and it's pretty useless to stop your life & wait for him to come crawling back.

 

he ended it - leave it at that and try to move on with accepting that without thinking about what MIGHT happen. if it happens and you end up together...? you'll think about it THEN. right now -- look at the situation realistically & leave it that.

[m4p]

OP,

 

The way you described your ending made my heart skipped a beat. It sounded just like how it was when my A ended. So trust me if I say I understand exactly how you feel *now*. The feeling like you lost something beautiful. The feeling like you'll never feel this way again. The what-ifs, the why-didn't-you-choose-me.

 

My xMM also ended things after we were found out. And after 3 days of staying at his sister's and talking with his wife, he realized that he needs to give his marriage a shot. To quote him, he said he "need to work on myself and do what I was failing to do in the marriage"

 

Clearly your MM has chosen to work on his marriage. Clearly there is much more holding him back than running off into the sunset with you.

 

I am sorry and this comes from someone who was in the exact same situation, but love shouldn't be so complicated. Love shouldn't be a "pick me" game or a situation of pros and cons. This isn't love. This is merely seeing an opportunity and letting it spiral way out of control. We could have had the same chemistry with any other guy. It just happened that you made this mistake of going deep with a married man and giving yourself hope that it could be more.

 

You asked:

So, here's what I want to know. Does a MM ever do the right thing in his marriage, end it for the right reason and have a successful relationship with the OW?

 

Now I would like to ask you, what makes you think that his marriage is a mistake and the "right thing" would be to end it? Has it occurred that the right thing would be to stop cheating and give his wife what she deserves- a faithful and loving husband? Sometimes we tell ourselves that a marriage where a man strays is a broken marriage that isn't happy in the first place. This is not true. MMs can love their wives and cheat too. He could be as happy at home as he is with OW. This is something you must understand. I learnt it the hard way.

 

I had the same fleeting thoughts as you before, hence I'm writing all these with a heavy heart. 9 months ain't easy but boy, did I wake up and see everything for what it is. I insist that my xMM love/loved me too, but when someone tells you that they love their wife (instead of saying they don't- like most MM), then it's time to really listen and believe them. How much love he has for me does not matter when faced with the possible devastation he caused to the woman he loves AND married.

 

I would say it was a wake up call for this type of MM. And judging by the pattern, this could also be the type of MM who are remorseful and perhaps sincere in working on their marriages.

 

So I urge you to move on and close your heart to him. Love yourself, love your kids, only when you see things for what it is then you are truly deserving of commitment with another person (who is not married and can give you their 100% too).

 

It's hard but if I can do it (from first few months of non stop crying and nightmares, to current 9th month of healing), you can do it too.

 

Really, see this for what it is. Someone who cheated on his wife and lied to her face numerous occasions. Whatever you had between you is forever sullied by the way your relationship start. If he would have left her for you, he would have left long ago. If he didn't, most likely he never will.

 

Stay strong and stay NC, it will be worth it. Hugs.

[LimeBlue]

Here's some background:

 

- He truly does (I need to start saying did) love me but also loves his wife. He told me never to fall in love with two people. It's hard.

- He called me when she found out and told me to wait for him to call me back. He was going home and at that point told me he cant see it ending any other way than them breaking up

- He never called me

- On Monday morning (work) he told me he could do this (us) anymore

 

We must have the same MM.

 

He loves me, but loves his wife, he cannot see it ending in anything other than divorce yet he continues a life with her, when things at home are rosey again is when I hardly hear from him. He is a coward and will not tell me that "he cannot do this anymore" so instead it will be coming from me, because with each day that passes, I see less chance of a future for us together. He likes the idea of me, likes the idea of a life with me, but clearly prefers his current marriage and life way more than any ideas of me.

 

Your MM is probably the same.

 

As for the hurt... my greatest hurt is yet to come, but it is on the way. How have you been coping up til now?

[BeautifulIdiot]

Now I would like to ask you, what makes you think that his marriage is a mistake and the "right thing" would be to end it? Has it occurred that the right thing would be to stop cheating and give his wife what she deserves- a faithful and loving husband? Sometimes we tell ourselves that a marriage where a man strays is a broken marriage that isn't happy in the first place. This is not true. MMs can love their wives and cheat too. He could be as happy at home as he is with OW. This is something you must understand. I learnt it the hard way.

 

I think about this constantly. If that's what he choose then that is the right thing and deep down I know that I'm just going to end up being that thing they survived that made their marriage stronger. To be perfectly honest I think I'm so desperate for validation that I want someone to tell me that it'll all work out for me in the end. That I'm more than the mistake that made them better, that what I'm going through right now is worth more than that.

 

Heartbreak sucks and this kind is way worse than anything else for some reason.

[BeautifulIdiot]

To LimeBlue: I wish I was coping better but it/he/us still consumes most of my waking thoughts. I still cry several times a week (including whilst reading some of the responses here).

 

I think what makes it harder is that there's no anger or hatred, I still only have love and respect for him (yes, I realise writing respect for a man who cheated on his wife is probably not quite the right thing to say). I understand what he's doing and actually believe it's the right thing. Of course he better never contact me again and go give his wife every ounce of effort to get back what they used to have. She deserves that. They deserve that.

 

m4p - you said you're 9 months later. How long did it take you to stop feeling like this? I'd like to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

For what it's worth, I'd never contact him. I wouldn't ruin what they're trying to rebuild by doing that and I wouldn't want to hear the answer to anything I had to say, or the silence of no response. I'm not sure which would be worse.

[Ms. Faust]

To be perfectly honest I think I'm so desperate for validation that I want someone to tell me that it'll all work out for me in the end.

 

It will work out with or without him.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/557265-moving-after-affair

[BeautifulIdiot]

It will work out with or without him.

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Well that just made me cry. In the best possible way.

 

Thank you. I really needed to hear that.

[m4p]

To LimeBlue: I wish I was coping better but it/he/us still consumes most of my waking thoughts. I still cry several times a week (including whilst reading some of the responses here).

 

I think what makes it harder is that there's no anger or hatred, I still only have love and respect for him (yes, I realise writing respect for a man who cheated on his wife is probably not quite the right thing to say). I understand what he's doing and actually believe it's the right thing. Of course he better never contact me again and go give his wife every ounce of effort to get back what they used to have. She deserves that. They deserve that.

 

m4p - you said you're 9 months later. How long did it take you to stop feeling like this? I'd like to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

For what it's worth, I'd never contact him. I wouldn't ruin what they're trying to rebuild by doing that and I wouldn't want to hear the answer to anything I had to say, or the silence of no response. I'm not sure which would be worse.

 

I asked him that before "so am I a mistake? something you regret?"

 

Whatever he answered was inconsequential.. If he said I am, I'll be heartbroken, if he said I wasn't, it didn't make me feel any better because we are still in this s*** situation.

 

We all need validation.. I went through a period of emptiness and felt like I just needed someone anyone to be there to make me feel less empty. Everything reminded me of him. That was the first few months. After which I realized that that won't work. So I started doing what I like the most- read, shop, pamper myself. I go for runs with colleagues, lots of nice dinners and weekend brunch with my family and friends. It helps when you're surrounded by people who loves you. I went to therapy and also took a friend into confidence.. Being able to cry and tell someone how it hurts makes it hurts lesser after you're done crying.

 

You asked if there is light at the end of the tunnel.. I'll tell you that the tunnel is long but the light switches is just beside you all along. You just got to fumble and feel for it.

 

Have you felt so happy with him like you never before? But guess what you can't tell anyone.. It was for me 2 years of secrecy and being a secret. I didn't miss being a dirty secret.

 

It took about 6 months I guess, to somewhat feel the normalcy of life without him. Can't discount that fact that this is someone who is heavily involved in your life for a long time. You got to let yourself adjust to it.

 

For me I started realizing that I can go an hour without thinking of him, then maybe half a day, and right now perhaps even a few days? From a stab in the heart, to maybe a pang, and now it's more like a dull ache.. I don't hurt so much anymore.

 

For all the time I spent being obsessed with him I now spend my time by giving my all to the people I'm with. I can't lie and say I don't miss him, but my eyes are opened wider now and he is no longer perfect in my eyes. I have reached the stage where I can't turn back anymore. All the pain and grief is just not worth it.

 

You would get there too. And you'll be okay, more than okay.

[minimariah]

To be perfectly honest I think I'm so desperate for validation that I want someone to tell me that it'll all work out for me in the end.

 

it absolutely will.

 

you are your own person with your own life to live. and when enough time passes - HE will become just that thing that YOU survived.

 

you will meet someone who will knock you off your feet and you WILL fall in love again. stay strong and focused on your life... don't wait for someone to come around to start living.

 

also - his affair probably WON'T make them better. it will actually make them a lot worse and create a very permanent scar that won't go away, only fade with time IF they are lucky. so don't think about it as in "poor me and they're going to have their happily ever after" -- the odds are not in their favor.

Edited November 16, 2015 by minimariah

[EdibleWoman]

I asked him that before "so am I a mistake? something you regret?"

 

Whatever he answered was inconsequential.. If he said I am, I'll be heartbroken, if he said I wasn't, it didn't make me feel any better because we are still in this s*** situation.

 

We all need validation.. I went through a period of emptiness and felt like I just needed someone anyone to be there to make me feel less empty. Everything reminded me of him. That was the first few months. After which I realized that that won't work. So I started doing what I like the most- read, shop, pamper myself. I go for runs with colleagues, lots of nice dinners and weekend brunch with my family and friends. It helps when you're surrounded by people who loves you. I went to therapy and also took a friend into confidence.. Being able to cry and tell someone how it hurts makes it hurts lesser after you're done crying.

 

You asked if there is light at the end of the tunnel.. I'll tell you that the tunnel is long but the light switches is just beside you all along. You just got to fumble and feel for it.

 

Have you felt so happy with him like you never before? But guess what you can't tell anyone.. It was for me 2 years of secrecy and being a secret. I didn't miss being a dirty secret.

 

It took about 6 months I guess, to somewhat feel the normalcy of life without him. Can't discount that fact that this is someone who is heavily involved in your life for a long time. You got to let yourself adjust to it.

 

For me I started realizing that I can go an hour without thinking of him, then maybe half a day, and right now perhaps even a few days? From a stab in the heart, to maybe a pang, and now it's more like a dull ache.. I don't hurt so much anymore.

 

For all the time I spent being obsessed with him I now spend my time by giving my all to the people I'm with. I can't lie and say I don't miss him, but my eyes are opened wider now and he is no longer perfect in my eyes. I have reached the stage where I can't turn back anymore. All the pain and grief is just not worth it.

 

You would get there too. And you'll be okay, more than okay.

 

This is all really beautiful advice. Thank you.

[BeautifulIdiot]

I asked him that before "so am I a mistake? something you regret?"

 

He said he would never regret me, that I would never disappear and that he would always love me. He wished he'd done things differently, he wished he'd met me first, but he would never have true regret because he could never regret falling in love with me.

 

Thank you all for this. I can't describe the relief at knowing I'm not alone. I thought I was insane and although I have a friend I confide in and who is incredible, there comes a point (at around 3 months apparently) where you just start to feel like you should be doing better by now. I also can't help but feel like and idiot because married men never leave their wives, everyone knows that. I know that, I'm not one of those women who fall for lies so it must have all been true (he also told me at the end that it was all true at the time, it only changed when he was confronted with it). I just feel like I'm somewhere and someone I never thought I would be. I'm usually so strong, I can get through anything (and have) so I just don't understand where I am or how to get out of it.

[BeautifulIdiot]

This is all really beautiful advice. Thank you.

 

What she said.

 

I will be taking this advice. Thank you.

[EdibleWoman]

I love the part about the light switches...

[Dylon]

Wow, this is such as emotional discussion going on that I wanted to come in. Often, most threads are full of hatred for the mm, which I'm one. I came here about a month ago after ending with the OW in a EA. I needed help to move on, to deal with my guilt and my hurt. Not much help here except to hear that MM are cheaters, hurters, liars, scums, cake eaters, ect. Of course I understand because most are women here either as OW or a BS.

 

A lot of what was said in this thread, the OW and I discusssed about. First of all, unlike in many people's situation, I never made any promises and I didn't look to fall into an EA with this woman. Friendship lead to more. She was the pursuer. Towards the end, I realized that I didn't need to make any promises, just sharing feelings alone gave hopes. An A itself is very telling that a marriage must be in trouble, therefore it gave hopes too. She comforted me in the beginning giving me all the reasons why it's ok what we do, that she doesn't expect me to leave my M, ect. As time went out, of course that changed. The longer we were together, the more hopes it gave her. However, I saw the pain in her and the pain in myself too for carrying the A. It hurt everyone. Soon as I realized that like many of what you have said, the outcome of leaving the M is desired over all else and there was really nothing to hold onto except to reach that goal for the OW. It took me a year to end it with her. I did love her and I did wanted her to have what she wanted, a man who can give her everything! She couldn't understand it and after all the fights, hurt, and arguments, she still come back to me over and over again. She told me she still needs me, day to day, ect. So it dragged on. I did love her, so I couldn't just let her deal with the hurt. At home, I was discovered too and through my problem at home, I did the best I could to comfort both sides. Yes, I know.....I've lectured myself and by others.

 

I told her she is not a mistake and even though it has ended and there's a scar in my marriage forever, I don't regret meeting the wonderful person that she is. I will always remember her. At two months, I'm still very hurt. When we used to talk, her hurt made me cry. Now I can't cry. I try to force but tears so I can feel better but I can't. Reading this thread and similar ones do wet my eyes. I think of her hurt and what I've done to her.

 

Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and she doesn't deserve that I bonded emotionally with another woman. Still it happened. I can see my wife happy and well but I can't see that she is. I can only imagine the hurt and damage. But you know that people can love people for different things. A wife or husband offered too much already so it's very difficult to leave that part. There is a history of the love, building a life together, and the commitment of marriage which most people takes very seriously and guys like me will take it to the grave.

 

One shouldn't assume that all MM just lie in an A just because they lied to their wives. They offer their thoughts for the moments, the feelings, and yes their fantasy. Seeing is believing though and action speaks louder than words. I don't defend a MM who cheats, and I'm sure there are users out there, but not all MM are like this. They fall in love when they weren't supposed to and when they do, it's a mess. They offer their feelings out of place and they dream of scenarios similar to how the OWs have their dreams and fantasy. The OW free to make the choice more than the MM.

 

I'm sad to read your post. You are incredibly kind in heart compared to many other OW who at first opportunity, conjure up hatred for the MM to heal themselves. It's as if, the more evil that man is, the faster they will heal and forget. They try to find all the flaws and reasons to hate that person. The more horrible that man is, the more it reflects on the OW that spends time with them, sometimes I've seen 8 years by some OW here. So basically, they said it's been 8 years of being stupid. How will that built confidence to move on? Yes, really some MM are just terrible to the extremes and some OW are really stupid, but it's not always the case. Some MM deserves those words and hatred because they are cruel. Not all though. Some are misunderstand, lost, confused, trapped, and really do love the OW. I applaud you for your approach. True or not he's a good man, you will know and it's better for you anyway to move on without hatred and be good to yourself.

 

Yes, you weren't a mistake. Believe me. Yes, you are letting go for the right reason. He might come back if things calm down like in my case. You said you won't contact him. Good. For me, as much as I love the OW that I stop writing to, it's really her that stopped it by not reaching out and contacting me. I know she still waits for me to change my mind and reach out. I won't or at least has been fighting every hard. It doesn't mean that she's not important to me, it's just means I know I have hurt her too much already and I can't give her what she wants.

 

Forgive me for the long posts. Your words and the replies really got to me. I've been very sad still at two months. I've made my family happy again and my job is back on track, but now I find myself lost, depress and hard to pass the day. I don't want her back or for her to contact me. I know she's hurting and I can only give her pain, and in turn pain for myself so I don't want another A.

 

My goal is to spend everyday feeling the pain of others. I think it's good for me to channel my feelings that way. Then when I'm with my family, I can be the husband that I need to be.

 

Good luck to you and thanks making my eyes wet. I really needed the release.

[Rorocher]

PP, but you loved the MW right, you just couldn't leave your family for her. Same old story, I get it.

[whichwayisup]

At this point in time I would be ecstatic with his plan B.

 

There are no kids involved on his side. I have two but I'm single and we were together for a year.

 

How long have they been married?

 

He may truly love you, but he has more history and family entwined with his wife. They built a life together and he may not be willing to give all that up for you and start over again. He loves his wife too so it's not like they are having deep marital issues that can't be fixed.

 

He now has seen the pain and heartache he caused his wife and it seems now he's chosen her and their marriage over you and the one year affair.

 

Sorry you're hurting.

[EdibleWoman]

 

One shouldn't assume that all MM just lie in an A just because they lied to their wives. They offer their thoughts for the moments, the feelings, and yes their fantasy. Seeing is believing though and action speaks louder than words. I don't defend a MM who cheats, and I'm sure there are users out there, but not all MM are like this. They fall in love when they weren't supposed to and when they do, it's a mess. They offer their feelings out of place and they dream of scenarios similar to how the OWs have their dreams and fantasy. The OW free to make the choice more than the MM.

 

I'm sad to read your post. You are incredibly kind in heart compared to many other OW who at first opportunity, conjure up hatred for the MM to heal themselves. It's as if, the more evil that man is, the faster they will heal and forget. They try to find all the flaws and reasons to hate that person. The more horrible that man is, the more it reflects on the OW that spends time with them, sometimes I've seen 8 years by some OW here. So basically, they said it's been 8 years of being stupid. How will that built confidence to move on? Yes, really some MM are just terrible to the extremes and some OW are really stupid, but it's not always the case. Some MM deserves those words and hatred because they are cruel. Not all though. Some are misunderstand, lost, confused, trapped, and really do love the OW. I applaud you for your approach. True or not he's a good man, you will know and it's better for you anyway to move on without hatred and be good to yourself..

 

This is such a thoughtful post. Thank you. I agree with all you've said. I think you'll find sometimes that the anger and bashing is a defense mechanism to try to survive the heartache. I also think that the levels of anger vary based on the commitments the mm made. You sound as if you never made promises. Other situations are vastly different, and it is mind blowing to realize as the OW that you've built your life around someone and something that doesn't really exist. How one deals with it in the aftermath defines who you are, I believe. I want to be angry, lash out, and hurt him the way he has hurt me. But that would not make me feel better about myself because I still and always will love him. In the end I truly recognize that I only have myself to blame. It is that recognition - that I made choices that really screwed up my life path (and his), that hurts more than anything. And the blow to your self esteem as the OW/rejected AP cannot be underestimated. It will take years for me to climb out of it. All of that I deserve.

 

My concern for OP is that I was in her place 5 years ago, and the impact my 7 year A has had on my life and self esteem has taken its toll on me in many forms. Telling her to be wary, and be forewarned as to how things might look for her if she continues to hold on is not mm bashing, it's just reality. She needs to protect herself from the love she feels for him.

[Dylon]

I think you'll find sometimes that the anger and bashing is a defense mechanism to try to survive the heartache

 

Oh, most definitely. I completely understand. I've read about MM that didn't say they are married for years. Lots of reason to hate such a person and deservingly so.

 

I too have found reasons to be angry. I think for me, I'm against it because my xOW often tells me that she's stupid, ect. She lashed out her anger. Then she returned like no words were said. That bothered me. It bothers me because it hurts her own ego to find reason to hate and than still continue. I often push her away and tried to tell her ... please don't feel stupid. We can end this if you have any bad views of yourself or what you do.

 

I want to be angry, lash out, and hurt him the way he has hurt me. But that would not make me feel better about myself because I still and always will love him.

 

Yes. In reality, MM is hurt too, but unlike the OW, it's not focus on just the A, but the hurt is from every direction. The MM gets his due of punishment. Again, I don't speak for all but I think the one that can manage long A is very troubled. Like a poster said, we don't move on after an A happily ever after. I believe my xOW is hurting bad now but one day she will be married and have a family of her own and can live happily ever after. I hope. I hope the same for you. I don't know about myself.

 

In the end I truly recognize that I only have myself to blame. It is that recognition - that I made choices that really screwed up my life path (and his), that hurts more than anything.

 

A path that was an experience for both of you and it's part of you. You are a better person for the experience.

 

 

And the blow to your self esteem as the OW/rejected AP cannot be underestimated.

 

I think about this a lot. It's not a fair comparison. I know you know it too that you were not rejected in a conventional sense.

 

It will take years for me to climb out of it. All of that I deserve.

 

I wouldn't say anyone deserves the hurt. Love is an odd and powerful force that mother nature instilled on us. Don't be so hard on yourself.

[EdibleWoman]

My concern for OP is that I was in her place 5 years ago, and the impact my 7 year A has had on my life and self esteem has taken its toll on me in many forms. Telling her to be wary, and be forewarned as to how things might look for her if she continues to hold on is not mm bashing, it's just reality. She needs to protect herself from the love she feels for him.

 

Oops - I got this post confused with Tired66's post - the OP's current situation (Dday followed by decision to try to work marriage out) was never the case in my situation. But points are generally relevant. Sorry about the confusion.

[BeautifulIdiot]

Dylon - Thank you. This was an incredibly thoughtful post and very much appreciated. Our situation was slightly different in that no-one really did the chasing, we both fell into the situation and neither of us intended it to go so far. We talked fairly regularly about whether we should continue but due to how we felt neither one of us wanted to end it. I have no doubt that his heart is breaking too. I have no doubt that three hearts were broken that day and we will all have to heal in our own way. They will have to try to heal each other which will by no means be easy but at least they have purpose and a future they're trying to reach. I'm left out here alone trying to figure out what my future is when I didn't even get a say in having mine taken from me. Hopefully I will do better dealing with that soon. I truly hope you and your wife make it through this. The more hearts that can mend the better the world will be.

 

I can't hate him. I've tried but I can't and it turns out I don't want to. He didn't do anything with intent to hurt me and that intent is important to me. I don't believe hating him would help me, it'd just make me question even more how I could have fallen so hard for someone who would want to hurt me which would hurt my self esteem more than it already has been by the rejection of him not wanting me (damn that was hard to write).

 

In my more lucid thoughts I know I have to move on and stop thinking about the possibility of us eventually being together. But damn, I miss him.

Edited November 16, 2015 by BeautifulIdiot

[Dylon]

Sounds like you might even be doing better than him? You think it's too early to tell? You are way too logical and reasonable to be real.

[BeautifulIdiot]

Sounds like you might even be doing better than him? You think it's too early to tell? You are way too logical and reasonable to be real.

 

The hours I spend looking at pictures of him, analyzing every parting word we had and hoping that next email will be from him disagree.