Sleep deprivation after breakup

[2mehappiness]

Hi all,

 

I have not been sleeping well since my breakup occurred 2 weeks ago. Initially I had alot of anxiety and would hyperventilate during the day because I was afraid to be alone. I am doing alot better but I still have a hard time STAYING ASLEEP at night. I can fall asleep, but I would constantly wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I can't fall back asleep. What's worst is that I would often dream about my ex's (some from my previous relationships) and it is really affecting me. I would dream about reconciliation, the honeymoon stages in my relationships, ex moved on with another girl etc. So I would often wake up in a panic or would be really discouraged. I am taking some herbal medication for anxiety and stress and I took some melatonin but it is not helping. I avoid taking naps now (which I used to love) and stopped drinking tea/water at night in hopes of sleeping throughout the night.

 

Has anyone gone through this and does the problem eventually go away? I had gone through many breakups in the past but first time experiencing this.

 

Thanks

[luck1978]

I understand exactly what your going through. Sleep deprivation is like torture, and this is the time you need to sleep the most to have mental strength. I went to the doctor and explained my situation fully and he prescribed me sleeping pills. Use them sensibly and they can be helpful in getting your sleep pattern back. I took them on the nights when you know sleep is not going to come easy. I'd take a tablet about 9.50, then get into bed and make myself comfortable and read. Then when fully relaxed turn the light off. I'd get a good 5 hrs sleep which was far better than the 2-3! Once you lose the anxiety of going to sleep your sleep parttern will return. Tablets may not work for everyone, but like I said if used in a sensible and controlled manner they really help! Good luck ;-) zzzzz

[JustAnotherLostLove]

Funny you should write this. I broke up with my ex just a little over 2 months ago now. As far as sleep, for myself, the last couple nights have been a little disturbing. I can't exactly remember what the dreams were about... But I feel that the first one had something to do with reconciliation, but then turned bad immediately afterwards. On both nights, I woke up screaming, it was weird. All I really remember, is screaming in the dream, and then waking up to me still screaming. And of course, remembering that the dreams were about her.

 

It's weird, here I am at 2 months, and in a lot of ways, it doesn't seem to be getting any better. But then again, I was dumped, for things I could have essentially done differently, so the regret is tormenting me. Two weeks is still VERY fresh into it, and I truly hope it gets better for you.

[Dylon]

Hi all,

 

I have not been sleeping well since my breakup occurred 2 weeks ago. Initially I had alot of anxiety and would hyperventilate during the day because I was afraid to be alone. I am doing alot better but I still have a hard time STAYING ASLEEP at night. I can fall asleep, but I would constantly wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I can't fall back asleep. What's worst is that I would often dream about my ex's (some from my previous relationships) and it is really affecting me. I would dream about reconciliation, the honeymoon stages in my relationships, ex moved on with another girl etc. So I would often wake up in a panic or would be really discouraged. I am taking some herbal medication for anxiety and stress and I took some melatonin but it is not helping. I avoid taking naps now (which I used to love) and stopped drinking tea/water at night in hopes of sleeping throughout the night.

 

Has anyone gone through this and does the problem eventually go away? I had gone through many breakups in the past but first time experiencing this.

 

Thanks

 

Sounds like you and I had the same night to the exact. I had two months of it and many more during. I can't say it will get better soon. The more often you wake up, the more you will remember the dreams and feel the emotion. I'm drained and tired. Cut fluid 3 hours before bed. Avoid excercise, heavy meal, and caffeine hours before sleep. Try to fill yourself with pleasant things before falling asleep, either thoughts or movies.

[BelleSkye]

Same here about tbe nightmares. The worst ones are when I get up at 3am, cant fall back into sleep and around 6am I get into a very deep sleep....the nightmares are traumatising. I am moving soon so hopefully in my new country, I can exercise as soon as I get up and start job searching to keep me busy. Those rem dreams are setting me back with my healing.

[2mehappiness]

I spoke to my counsellor about this because it was really affecting me. He said it is quite normal because I have invested so much into the relationship. He said I keep thinking about the relationship because the breakup was a significant event in my life. He said because it is the only recent significant event that occurred in my life, my brain will automatically keep going back to it. So I would need to find something else to focus on. Luckily I have decided to go back to school and pursue grad school yesterday.

 

He told me that when the dreams occur or if I see flashbacks of the relationship to picture a big STOP sign, breathe and think of something else that is significant in my life that had just occurred. Thats what I did yesterday. When I had a dream about the relationship, I pictured a stop sign and picture myself going back to school and last night was the first night where I didnt wake up in a huge panic. Hope that will help you guys as well.

[jen1447]

I can confirm that it's normal (more or less) for severe breakups/separation anxiety, and that happily it does get better eventually.

[2mehappiness]

Damn you dreams. I was doing so well. I was in such a good mood yesterday focusing on other things. I went out and worked out and talked to my friends about random stuff. And wham, dreamt about reconciliation and got rejected. Now I'm awake and I miss him. I sure hope you are right and the dreams eventually go away :/

[Dylon]

I had two good nights. I had nothing, food or water for at least 3 hours before bed. I read a lot during the day and excercised. I was tired. I woke up only once compared to 4-6x times in the past. I woke up less so I don't remember the dreams as well. As you know, we all dream and we only remember the last one that we wake up after. The more you wake up, the more dreams you remember. Like said early, it starts after you get a few good hours and then wamp! Constant waking up with horrible emotions that lead to more waking up.

 

What doesn't work is the kind of tiredness that put you dead alseep for a few hours and you are left with the rest of the night wide awake with thoughts. All our senses shutdown at night so the emotions go exponential. I love falling asleep but I hate waking up!