i admitted to having feelings for him

[johndoelol]

Me and my best friend have always been more than friends. He quickly confessed to having feelings for me early in our friendship, and had I not been in a relationship I'm pretty sure I would have felt the same. On one occasion when I was briefly single he confessed he was in love with me in tears, we shared a drunken kiss and sat up all night chatting before falling asleep together, which was lovely, however at the time I wanted to make things work with my ex and so pretty much told him it shouldn't of happened.

 

Around a year ago I became single and he confessed he still had these feelings for me, and wanted to know what we would be like together. We agreed to make a go of things but he soon told me he 'wasn't in the right mind set'. I felt this was an excuse, I felt rejected, however I wanted to save our friendship so I tried to forget the whole thing happened and began dating. I now know that he was suffering with depression at the time and it wasn't an excuse at all. He eventually told me it had bothered him when he found out I had started dating again also.

 

We have both been single for a while now, and have been spending even more time together. We kiss and cuddle which he initiates, I stayed round his last weekend and although we have always openly admitted we love each other, something about the way he says it lately feels different. Its been almost as if we are in a relationship. I decided honesty is the best policy and told him how I felt, how I had been a fool for not recognising how good he is for me sooner, but that if my chance had come and gone I understood. He said that while he loves me, would choose me over any other girl, and knows I would be the perfect girlfriend he remembers how he felt when I rejected him years ago and doesn't think he could ever feel 'that' for me again. I told him I understood that he didn't trust me not to hurt him again and that I don't blame him.

 

How confusing?! Is this just his way of almost asserting his manlihood for a while? Or making sure I'm being sincere this time? I find it confusing that he initiates romantic behaviour with me, tells me I'd be the perfect girlfriend, has waited for me for years and now he 'cant feel that way'? What do you guys think?

Also, what do you think I should do in regards to how we behave around each other etc now?!