d0nnivain Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 . The key is to not be alone at home. Very true. Being active & around people can help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 I'm already a therapist and social justice activist. If anything, I think I'm burning out from all of the help I'm giving! . Sometimes we need to take a break from helping! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Heatherknows Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 Very true. Being active & around people can help. Yep. The worst thing to do is to sit at home alone and try to figure out why you're so depressed which is what most people do when in that mood. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Dylon Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 I wonder whether you are a victim of over analyzing and digging too deep into reason, cause, and all the if's and whys, thus ending in a disappointing failure in connections with people because the answers weren't there or it's not what you thought it would be. You couldn't accept or approve. It just can't be as bad as you make it out to be. You said you are a therapist so you have been exposed to lots of people's problems. You help them: channel, listen, and "solve" issues. In your study, your read and studied people quite a bit. You must do that to yourself too. I'm a victim of such over thinking and reading and thinking into too much. More is not better with some knowledge and understanding. Enjoyment is lost, and experiences are just set of data to study. I read a lot when I was young, in many fields, and I'm now a scientist, and it can't be undone. They say that the more you know, the more intelligent you are, the more you likely to be unhappy. The saying: "Ignorance is bliss". Sometimes it's better not to know, not to look too deep, not to analyze, and "tis folly to be wise". Maybe that was your best friend. Maybe that was a dream girl but you just couldn't see it using a microscopic eyes. In death row, I always find it interesting that the inmate gets to choose the last meal, anything he wants. I always wonder if anyone of them actually enjoyed that meal knowing that meal never gets to pass. We all die one day so there's no rush. Unlike an inmate, we have choices. Link to post Share on other sites
Under The Radar Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 There isn't a right or wrong method for how to feel better when you're feeling miserable. Different prescriptions for different patients. Perhaps, volunteering is not for you. But I can attest that it works wonders for some people. In fact, if you talk to the non-profit organizations that are solely or mostly run by volunteers, you will find that most volunteers are there because they are suffering from either depression of some sort or dealing with some kind of loneliness or loss. The people who help the most are the ones who understand the pain the most--and that's how they can put their heart and soul to helping others. Some of the most dedicated social workers are the ones who KNOW what it feels like to be neglected or abused or hurt. Genuine empathy for others heals you. So, as ironic as it may sound to you, it is exactly at the time of struggling, you feel better by reaching out to help others who are also struggling because--(1) you can relate to those people who are struggling and you can feel no so 'alone' in your own suffering, and (2) by helping others, it gives you a better sense of self worth and kindness. This post is spot on. The term "Wounded Healer" was first coined by the psychologist Carl Jung. In fact, many people on this forum who have suffered at some point in their life are demonstrative of that very concept. They are putting in substantial time, emotional energy, and hard earned wisdom to help others, complete strangers no less, that are currently wounded. I am inspired, humbled, and thankful for the kindness and wisdom these people can impart. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 This post is spot on. The term "Wounded Healer" was first coined by the psychologist Carl Jung. In fact, many people on this forum who have suffered at some point in their life are demonstrative of that very concept. They are putting in substantial time, emotional energy, and hard earned wisdom to help others, complete strangers no less, that are currently wounded. I am inspired, humbled, and thankful for the kindness and wisdom these people can impart. Under.The.Radar, thank-you for your precious acknowledgement. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Yep. The worst thing to do is to sit at home alone and try to figure out why you're so depressed which is what most people do when in that mood. Not volunteering doesn't mean the only other alternative is to sit alone at home. Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 They say that the more you know, the more intelligent you are, the more you likely to be unhappy. The saying: "Ignorance is bliss". Sometimes it's better not to know, not to look too deep, not to analyze, and "tis folly to be wise". Maybe that was your best friend. Maybe that was a dream girl but you just couldn't see it using a microscopic eyes. It has nothing to do with being too intelligent, it's about a need for acknowledgement of the truth. I believe denial is the cause of all the world's problems. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheBathWater Posted November 24, 2015 Author Share Posted November 24, 2015 It has nothing to do with being too intelligent, it's about a need for acknowledgement of the truth. I believe denial is the cause of all the world's problems. Yeah, tell me about it! Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 I think many of us will always be a work in progress. However, when I reached rock bottom, I figured I had nothing to loose so I made a drastic change in my life and pursued a hidden dream. For some people it might mean moving somewhere new or pursuing a different career. It could even be something smaller like taking up a new hobby or joining a social club in an area you are interested in or curious about. Trying different things and keeping your mind busy from negative thoughts can be extremely helpful. Life doesn't always work out how we imagine, but it doesn't make your experience less valuable than anyone else. You are special, and it would be such a loss if you gave up now. Who knows what your life might look like in five years from now? Please don't give up. I truly hope you find your way again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Yeah, tell me about it! It's nice to know someone else in the world shares the same opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Heatherknows Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Not volunteering doesn't mean the only other alternative is to sit alone at home. Getting out of the house and walking, looking at nature can shift your mood. You need something to take your brain off of thinking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Getting out of the house and walking, looking at nature can shift your mood. You need something to take your brain off of thinking. ..about suicide. Link to post Share on other sites
Heatherknows Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 (edited) ..about suicide. About ANYTHING dark and disturbing. I've suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life AND I've worked as a therapist (LMSW) so I know what works. Talking is good when your moderately depressed. If you're VERY depressed you need: dogs jumping on you licking your face cute little kids showing you a toy fresh air and sunlight sweet smells and warm touches When you're VERY depressed you need to experience fantastic senses. No thinking. Thinking is yucky when you're VERY depressed. Trust me. Heather Knows Edited November 24, 2015 by Heatherknows 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 About ANYTHING dark and disturbing. I've suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life AND I've worked as a therapist (LMSW) so I know what works. Talking is good when your moderately depressed. If you're VERY depressed you need: dogs jumping on you licking your face cute little kids showing you a toy fresh air and sunlight sweet smells and warm touches When you're VERY depressed you need to experience fantastic senses. No thinking. Thinking is yucky when you're VERY depressed. Trust me. Heather Knows I agree. Thinking is a big part of it. Thoughts can loop around on themselves and believing that our thoughts are reality, rather than just thoughts, that alone can compound depression. Attachment to thoughts or to thinking can be depressing too. I even wonder if depression is attachment to thoughts. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Heatherknows Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 I agree. Thinking is a big part of it. Thoughts can loop around on themselves and believing that our thoughts are reality, rather than just thoughts, that alone can compound depression. Attachment to thoughts or to thinking can be depressing too. I even wonder if depression is attachment to thoughts. Could be. Sometimes my thoughts are so hateful and then I wonder why even think. Eckart Tolle said his biggest accomplishment was that he was able to "stop thinking." That's my goal. If I'm not using my brain to do something practical and all I'm doing is rehearsing yucky stuff then I need to stop it and switch to something pleasurable or at least non-toxic. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 (edited) About ANYTHING dark and disturbing. I've suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life AND I've worked as a therapist (LMSW) so I know what works. Talking is good when your moderately depressed. If you're VERY depressed you need: dogs jumping on you licking your face cute little kids showing you a toy fresh air and sunlight sweet smells and warm touches When you're VERY depressed you need to experience fantastic senses. No thinking. Thinking is yucky when you're VERY depressed. Trust me. Heather Knows Well, it has only been during my darkest moments that I have gained the deepest insights. How can we learn from our past hurts, if we don't let ourselves experience the pain? Otherwise for what other reason does pain exist? Edited November 24, 2015 by truthtripper Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 [/b] Could be. Sometimes my thoughts are so hateful and then I wonder why even think. Eckart Tolle said his biggest accomplishment was that he was able to "stop thinking." That's my goal. If I'm not using my brain to do something practical and all I'm doing is rehearsing yucky stuff then I need to stop it and switch to something pleasurable or at least non-toxic. It's a matter of learning how to convert toxic thinking into productive thinking, rather than avoiding painful feelings altogether. Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 I wonder whether you are a victim of over analyzing and digging too deep into reason, cause, and all the if's and whys, thus ending in a disappointing failure in connections with people because the answers weren't there or it's not what you thought it would be. You couldn't accept or approve. It just can't be as bad as you make it out to be. You said you are a therapist so you have been exposed to lots of people's problems. You help them: channel, listen, and "solve" issues. In your study, your read and studied people quite a bit. You must do that to yourself too. I'm a victim of such over thinking and reading and thinking into too much. More is not better with some knowledge and understanding. Enjoyment is lost, and experiences are just set of data to study. I read a lot when I was young, in many fields, and I'm now a scientist, and it can't be undone. They say that the more you know, the more intelligent you are, the more you likely to be unhappy. The saying: "Ignorance is bliss". Sometimes it's better not to know, not to look too deep, not to analyze, and "tis folly to be wise". Maybe that was your best friend. Maybe that was a dream girl but you just couldn't see it using a microscopic eyes. So true. I can almost imagine you (OP) sitting in front of the therapist listening to what you are saying and analyzing your own comments with the mindset of a therapist, instead of being a patient and just expressing. I imagine also maybe when your therapist starts talking, you start saying to yourself ''Oh yeah, you're referring to xyz theory…". In my own profession, when I provide feedback to others, I always try to stick with "commendations before recommendations" rule. So when I hear people give me positive feedback, I always wonder if they really mean it or if they are just saying something positive because they have to before they drop the 'constructive criticism' on me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 We all die one day so there's no rush. Funny, I often hear the phrase "Do you have thoughts of hurting yourself?" to mean "Are you thinking about committing suicide?", and I always think they are two different questions. In fact, quite the opposite actually. My thoughts of suicide is with SOLE purpose of wanting to STOP feeling pain, not creating more pain. The thought of suicide seems like the only way to relieve myself of constant emotional suffering that I can't be free from. So, actually, for someone suicidal, the thought of this pain continuing for a very very long life is the most excruciating thought to deal with. So, there's actually the need to 'rush' to want to get to the end. Unlike an inmate, we have choices. Unless, life feels like an endless prison sentence and you feel like an inmate forced to stay against your will, going through endless torture and punishment that you can't find a way to escape from. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 It's a matter of learning how to convert toxic thinking into productive thinking, rather than avoiding painful feelings altogether. YEAH, we should definitely think about that! Think hard about how to think productively. Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 YEAH, we should definitely think about that! Think hard about how to think productively. For most of my life I bashed myself up. Now that I'm aware that I was taught to do it, I know better. It's about asking oneself the question "why do I treat myself the way I do? Why do I hurt myself?" Link to post Share on other sites
Heatherknows Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 It's a matter of learning how to convert toxic thinking into productive thinking, rather than avoiding painful feelings altogether. You cannot avoid feelings. However, you can notice when you're rehearsing bad/sad/tedious thoughts and realize that they aren't facts. They are thoughts. And can blow right through you instead of tormenting you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Well, it has only been during my darkest moments that I have gained the deepest insights. How can we learn from our past hurts, if we don't let ourselves experience the pain? Otherwise for what other reason does pain exist? Experiencing pain is feeling, not thinking. Yes we need to feel our feelings but what we do NOT need to do is to buy into them wholeheartedly, or be stuck inside of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 I wouldn't kill yourself just yet. There might be something really good on TV tomorrow. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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