d0nnivain Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 DH & I are hosting a surprise birthday party for his mom. I just sat down to address the snail mail invitations but I don't have everyone's addresses. I asked DH months ago to get me this info but of course he didn't. Some of the relatives have moved since we got married & those were the only mailing addresses I had for them. I have called. I have texted. I even sent FB messages giving them the info & asking for their addresses so I can send them paper invites. Nobody is getting back to me. I wanted to make sure everybody got paper invites so they had directions etc. Am I the one marching to a different drummer? Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 DH & I are hosting a surprise birthday party for his mom. I just sat down to address the snail mail invitations but I don't have everyone's addresses. I asked DH months ago to get me this info but of course he didn't. Some of the relatives have moved since we got married & those were the only mailing addresses I had for them. I have called. I have texted. I even sent FB messages giving them the info & asking for their addresses so I can send them paper invites. Nobody is getting back to me. I wanted to make sure everybody got paper invites so they had directions etc. Am I the one marching to a different drummer? So just facebook message / text everyone what the paper invite says and give the directions. This way you will know the message has been delivered and read and if they choose not to acknowledge then assume they dont want to come. With snail mail invite when you arent sure of addresses you'll never know if they got it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Most regular ppl can be found pretty reliably (addresses and phone numbers) on White Pages or any of the other public data troves. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 I'm guessing these are super distant relatives you don't really talk to. Leave a message wherever you are sure they can get. (A facebook profile that hasn't been checked in months, might not be a good bet) If they don't get back to you, they probably aren't really part of the family anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 In my opinion, facebook and texting is useless for something like this. It's not a matter of being "off-grid". If you've called and left messages with no response (and had the right phone number), there's not much more you can do. Maybe the people don't have any interest in joining, in which case, it would be a waste of time sending an invite anyway. I also think it should be your husband's responsibility to get in touch with his own family. Maybe he's not taking things as seriously as you are. How would he act if this were your wedding or a wedding for another family member that you are organizing? Is anyone else in the family stressing over this? If not, it seems silly to be the only one stressing about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted November 18, 2015 Author Share Posted November 18, 2015 These are MILs siblings. She talks to them all the time but I doubt anybody in this family uses old fashioned mail. I'm the only one who stresses over anything in DH's family. I know that is my issue. I'm a high stress, detail oriented Type A person & they are all laid back, casual people. I can't even begin to tell you the consternation our black tie wedding caused these folks. LOL. I can't change who I am any more than they can but I really would like all of MILs siblings to be here for her birthday. I have called all the ones I can reach & left messages for them to call the ones I can't get a hold of. At this point I have tried everything. If they don't show up, it's not my problem, right? Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 I don't think them not responding is your problem but maybe you could convince your husband that this is very important and get him to help out a little more. The fact that they are all your MIL's siblings and not distant relatives must be frustrating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 These are MILs siblings. She talks to them all the time but I doubt anybody in this family uses old fashioned mail. I'm the only one who stresses over anything in DH's family. I know that is my issue. I'm a high stress, detail oriented Type A person & they are all laid back, casual people. I can't even begin to tell you the consternation our black tie wedding caused these folks. LOL. I can't change who I am any more than they can but I really would like all of MILs siblings to be here for her birthday. I have called all the ones I can reach & left messages for them to call the ones I can't get a hold of. At this point I have tried everything. If they don't show up, it's not my problem, right? Yeah that is weird, those are your husbands aunts and uncles then, it's strange that they are ignoring you. But maybe your family isn't as close as I'm used to. But no it's not your problem if they don't get back to you. Does your husband talk to his cousins at all? I know I have one uncle who never gets back to me, so I just check in with my cousins when I'm not sure if he got my messages. Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted November 18, 2015 Author Share Posted November 18, 2015 I talk to these people more than DH does. His whole family jokes that I'm the glue that pulled them back together. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts