confused??

[chichi]

well me and my husband have been married for 3 years and for the past three years all we do is fight all the time. i dont know what to do about the relationship anymore, he lies to me all the time and he has no respect for me at all. he calls me names in front of people and doesnt care.

 

we have recently separated and he tells me that he will change and for some reason it doesnt bother me that we are not together except when i see him with a another girl then i get upset and confused about my feelings. he keeps telling me that he will change and he will treat me the way that i want to be treated but i dont believe him at all.

 

i think i have fallen out of love with him and i dont understand why. i think we are just too different people........what so you think??????

[LucreziaBorgia]

I think that a separation is a good idea in this case. He's talking the talk, but showing zero effort or action to back it up - so under the circumstances its best that he isn't around.

 

Its pretty natural to be confused. I expect the guy you miss and love is the one that no longer exists - just as you aren't the person you used to be for him, either.

 

Can it ever go back to what it was? No, not really - but there is always a chance to build a new and stronger relationship on the ruins of the first one, but it requires some hard effort and commitment to do so. Unless he is willing to do that, it can't happen.

 

Have you discussed divorce yet or are you still in that 'wait and see' limbo? It may be time to talk to lawyer about that now rather than later. Then you can let him know that he has a choice: come back and start over in marriage counseling to put things back to some 'right' - or he can sign the papers and be on his way. Letting go isn't easy, but when your only other option is holding onto someone who causes you more pain than happiness, and refuses to change - it is probably time to do so.

[Marshbear]

Originally posted by chichi

well me and my husband have been married for 3 years and for the past three years all we do is fight all the time. i don't know what to do about the relationship anymore, he lies to me all the time and he has no respect for me at all. he calls me names in front of people and doesn't care.

 

we have recently separated and he tells me that he will change and for some reason it doesn't bother me that we are not together except when i see him with a another girl then i get upset and confused about my feelings. he keeps telling me that he will change and he will treat me the way that i want to be treated but i don't believe him at all.

 

i think i have fallen out of love with him and i don't understand why. i think we are just too different people........what so you think??????

 

we have recently separated and he tells me that he will change and for some reason it doesn't bother me that we are not together except when i see him with a another girl then i get upset and confused about my feelings

 

You mean he is dating other women but says he wants to change? I would say the trust is non-existent in your relationship and if you cannot talk to each other and just fight all the time then a marriage counselor is the only hope you have to get answers. I can see why your feelings have changed toward him. He doesn't respect you. If he calls you names in front of people then he doesn't respect your feelings.

 

See if you can get him to go to the counselor and really try to make it work. If he won't then I don't see much hope.

 

Peace...

[LucreziaBorgia]

From seeing this other thread, I think divorce is your best option here.

[amish]

Ugh....no kidding. Don't play the victim in one thread and the adulteress in another. Do HIM a favor and divorce him.