moonwalker86 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 I feel this way. It's been only a couple days but I feel like me neglecting her needs is making me lose someone I thought was my soulmate. Is it normal to feel this way? Am I an idiot for thinking that? I've never been with anyone else. We started our relationship at a very young age and have been together for 8 years, have a child together. She wants to be on best terms after the separation and so do I, for our childs sake. But it feels so unreal. It feels so numbing sometimes and other times I feel so sensitive to all the emotions. I just want her to run to me and say I'll take you back, but she said she needs to be alone because she has never been alone in her life and needs to "find herself". I'm a crying mess. She says she still loves me and always will, but this isn't what I want, I want her to be in love with me. I have tried all I could to win her back but I can't. And even when I try to accept it and think rationally that it isn't going to happen, some part of me, the part that still loves her deeply trys to come up with fantasy scenarios, with these hopes that she may still change her mind. It is killing me. Love is the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I'm 28 by the way in case you're wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 There is no such thing as soul mates. Believe me when I say this. You will get married, then about 5-10 years in, you realize the idea of a soulmate is fairytale fantasy mumbo jumbo. Btw, I wouldn't be shocked if she has another man. She left you to "be alone?" I'm calling BS. Sorry for your pain bro Link to post Share on other sites
Author moonwalker86 Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 There is no such thing as soul mates. Believe me when I say this. You will get married, then about 5-10 years in, you realize the idea of a soulmate is fairytale fantasy mumbo jumbo. Btw, I wouldn't be shocked if she has another man. She left you to "be alone?" I'm calling BS. Sorry for your pain bro Well I'm sure some people still believe in soulmates. Thanks for the response. I found out that she was talking to another person and confronted her about it. She said that isn't the reason she can't be with me, that it was after everything had gone sour. I still felt crushed that she could talk to someone else the way she talked to me. Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Idk. In my experience her excuse for leaving you points towards she was already interested in another before you split. She couldnt come up with a solid reason to break it off with you, and she couldnt say it was to see someone else. So she says she needs to be alone. But if that were the truth, she would still be alone dont you think? I wouldnt give her the time of day for anything other then co-parenting. Get out there and date around bro. Time for you to move on from her for now. If you guys are meant to be, she will come crawling back after her fling with the other man goes sour. Hopefully you will be moved on from her by then enough to make a level headed decision on trying again or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moonwalker86 Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 Idk. In my experience her excuse for leaving you points towards she was already interested in another before you split. She couldnt come up with a solid reason to break it off with you, and she couldnt say it was to see someone else. So she says she needs to be alone. But if that were the truth, she would still be alone dont you think? I wouldnt give her the time of day for anything other then co-parenting. Get out there and date around bro. Time for you to move on from her for now. If you guys are meant to be, she will come crawling back after her fling with the other man goes sour. Hopefully you will be moved on from her by then enough to make a level headed decision on trying again or not. Thank you for the advice. You may be onto something. This forum has helped me a lot in getting through this since I have nobody to confide in. It's truly a life saver. I'm a lot more comfortable today than I was yesterday or the last few days. I actually have come to accept it today. I will always love her, always, but the pain will subside. And there will be brighter days. I believe my self worth now which was not there for a few days. I believe I will become a better person and I still am thankful that we were able to help eachother grow, even though things didn't end as I hoped they would. Thank you again. Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 How long were you split before you found out she is talking to someone else? What specifically went sour for you guys? Did this split come out of nowhere, or had you been fighting? Trust me, I understand self worth issues. Dont fall into that spiral. Its a lonely lonely place to be. Seriously get some help if you feel like you are struggling with this. Link to post Share on other sites
ProdigalMe Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 (edited) moonwalker Welcome to LoveShack. If you're here, well, you're struggling too. I don't have many people to turn to either, so I spill my guts here. Feels better. Like I said in my own thread, I know exactly what you're going through. The numbness, the shock, the pain, the desperation. All of it. One moment you're ok, the next you're brought to your knees with a crushing grief. Sometimes it feels like there's something sitting on your chest and you can't breathe. Here's something to consider. Someone once said, "Grief is an artifact of love." In other words, you can't get grief unless you have first experienced a deep, abiding love. In that sense, maybe grief is something to be thankful for. Because you couldn't have experienced it unless you had real love first. Yeah, that doesn't help right now, but maybe in time it will. Hope you feel better. Edited November 20, 2015 by ProdigalMe Link to post Share on other sites
Author moonwalker86 Posted November 20, 2015 Author Share Posted November 20, 2015 moonwalker Welcome to LoveShack. If you're here, well, you're struggling too. I don't have many people to turn to either, so I spill my guts here. Feels better. Like I said in my own thread, I know exactly what you're going through. The numbness, the shock, the pain, the desperation. All of it. One moment you're ok, the next you're brought to your knees with a crushing grief. Sometimes it feels like there's something sitting on your chest and you can't breathe. Here's something to consider. Someone once said, "Grief is an artifact of love." In other words, you can't get grief unless you have first experienced a deep, abiding love. In that sense, maybe grief is something to be thankful for. Because you couldn't have experienced it unless you had real love first. Yeah, that doesn't help right now, but maybe in time it will. Hope you feel better. It's true. I just never understood how deep the pain from a love lost could cut. It's worse than I ever imagined it before I knew what love really was. I will grow from this experience no doubt. I'm wiser now, I know things I didn't know before, as crappy as it's been to go through this part, because as you know too, it's crappy as hell, I still got a lot from this relationship. It was quite the ride. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moonwalker86 Posted November 20, 2015 Author Share Posted November 20, 2015 How long were you split before you found out she is talking to someone else? What specifically went sour for you guys? Did this split come out of nowhere, or had you been fighting? Trust me, I understand self worth issues. Dont fall into that spiral. Its a lonely lonely place to be. Seriously get some help if you feel like you are struggling with this. We officially were off for about 7 days I think, I found out about the person this morning and sorta went off on her about it. But our problems were running for a little while on and off though. We didn't fight too much but she felt ignored and like I didn't put enough into our relationship, that I didn't pay enough attention to her. It's true in some respects, I could have done much more, I wasn't romantic anymore. I guess it's that same old story you hear about lovers becoming roomates. I still didn't think she'd leave, I was a fool, I thought love was forever regardless of how romantic or not you are, I learned the hard way. It was an on going issue, it wasn't the first time she threatened to end our relationship and I was making small strides in changing but they weren't big enough for her. It is what it is. We are getting along well right now, we both know it's sticking and I'm done crying now. Link to post Share on other sites
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