Is this poem true?

[loverage21]

you have missed out on teenage love

you'll never be 15 and in love

lying on the grass on a warm summer night, watching the stars, carelessly chatting

not worrying about rent, bills, student loans

only worry in life is how you're gonna cheat on that history test on Monday

you'll never take a young, tight, hot-bodied girls virginity, pulling out to cum all over her back and have her look in your eyes and say "I love you"

you'll never have a girl around every day after school, pretend to be doing homework together, but instead just **** like rabbits

you're in your 20's now

gotta get a good job

gotta be a serious man now

all the good ones are taken

maybe a nice girl will eventually settle with you

they have already felt all those new exciting feelings before, and are usually jaded and bitter

you missed what it feels like to have not a care in the world other than making your girl happy

you have missed out on teenage love"

 

 

They say the older you get the less dopamine you release.

 

He continued to tell me

Most people in their 20's aren't looking out for "true love" in liking the person fully. At mid 20's and later many women especially are looking out for partners that would be stable for LTR relationship. When your in your 20's outside of school you got student loans, jobs and so forth. Many people have already experience their first love, done all the usual sexual positions already, had a few partners (you can't beat out first love no matter what anyone says) and by then nothing is new. The emotion they've felt and things they've done has already been done with another. It's like going to an amusement park for the first time or new country. It's exciting as hell for the first time, but repeat visits and the novelty wears off.

 

20's and 30's love is less about romance, fire and passion and more about finding stable, relationships, with someone you can stand.

Edited November 21, 2015 by loverage21

[Gloria25]

Uh, I beg to differ....

 

My tweens, teens, and twenties were spent concentrating on school, working two/three jobs, trying to become independent and having a career. I had to grow up early cuz my parents were selfish and irresponsible.

 

But, I did have some good times. I did have days/nights of sex all day/all nite. I soooo miss those times Well, didn't happen all the time cuz I was busy with school, work, etc.

 

Missing out on "teenage love"? I think teens don't know what "love" is.

 

"Hornies", "infatuation", "hormones" - yes!!!

 

While I agree that women in their mid/late 20's are looking for a guy to settle down and that yep, in your 20's time to become an adult. Time to take on responsibilities and bills, I disagree as it being a "death sentence".

 

Again, I did have fun and sex in my teens, twenties and thirties. Although I had bills and "responsibilities" - it didn't stop me from enjoying life. I put off marriage and kids and enjoyed my "selfish" time. I'd sit on my patio in the summer on a Saturday and have a beer/sandwich combo for lunch. I'd bike for hours. I'd club. I'd drive to hang with friends in other states - I was "free".

 

Now, yes, my family has leaned on me over the years - but it's gotten worst, especially with my mum living with me. I HATE IT. Actually yesterday late at nite, as I was washing dishes and organizing the fridge, I pretty much said to myself what this poem seems to cover - which is, my best years are gone, I'm stuck in this hell of family and "their" responsibilities. Gone are the days/nites I can have sex for hours, sleep in, watch the sunrise (which I used to do by myself, but now I need sleep).

 

I can't even have a drink, beer, etc. without my mum giving me a dirty stare and/or saying something snarky...IN MY OWN HOUSE!!!

 

At almost 40, childless, single (never married), I feel like I'm a teenager in my parents house...miserable with endless "rules". Sometimes I wanna do something reckless and just break all the rules!!!

 

Anywho, I still am sticking to my plan - which is to get my life back. Even at 40, I'm gonna find that man who will sleep in with me and have sex all day/nite. Well, we won't be virgins, but he'll enjoy cumming all over me, wherever/however we do it.

 

I'm gonna have carefree days where I either call in sick at work or actually ask for a day or two off and just kick my feet up and chill. I'm gonna drive out of town and hang with my gfs....MY LIFE ISN'T OVER AT 40 and who cares what I missed out on in my tweens/teens.

 

See, like it or not, life is "stages". Like Madonna, we have to keep on reinventing ourselves.

 

And, just cuz you are at a particular "stage" (i.e. 20's, 30's, 40's) doesn't mean you stop living. If you're married with kids...get a freakin' baby sitter or work it out with another couple to watch the kids for the day, kick back, turn off the phones and have sex all day!!! Be like Katy Perry's song "Teenage Dream"...I love that song, cuz I'm gonna put on my skin tight jeans and grab my guy and we're gonna make out at the movies like I'm his teenage dream.

 

My fav podcaster's son finally married at 30 and they're waiting to have kids. Just cuz you settle with someone doesn't mean passion and life stops (well, unless you settled with a boring dud). They travel, have fun, got some kittens and are enjoying each other.

 

So, that's my two cents. I don't "ever" wanna go back to my tweens/teens cuz your head is so messed up and you're going through changes (hormonal, emotional, etc). You don't know what love is about...ALSO, life doesn't stop ever....you can be 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, even 60's and still have passion and fun in your life. YOU are the architect of your life (unless you chose a spouse/SO who isn't on the same wavelength as you).

[basil67]

I'm 48. When I look back at my life, I remember the wonderful, heady days when I first dated my husband. I was 24 and he was 31. By your standards we were clearly too old to be doing this stuff but you're so wrong. He wasn't my first boyfriend. He wasn't even my first husband. But all memories pale in comparison to what I shared with him.

 

And that bit in the poem about taking her virginity, pulling out and coming all over her back? Are you crazy? I can't imagine any girl fantasising about losing her virginity a) doggy style and b) using the withdrawal method of contraception.

 

Loverage21, I don't know what's wrong with you, but you need psychological help. You are wasting your life missing out on wonderful experiences because you're obsessing over something which is ridiculous.

[todreaminblue]

pretty sad poem......

 

 

 

 

that aint love you must be surrounded by the blues

 

love is when it isnt only just about you,

 

love is kind love is patient , love is mature

 

love isnt about a back full of come,

trust me,believe me when i say, love is more pure

love is about tenderness, kindness loveliness

love is what you get to after all you endure

to understand, to grow, to forgive and to learn,

only then will a heart be peaceful and get what it yearns.......deb

 

 

and after the surrealness...fact is teen brains are not yet fully grown...not emotionally or intellectually mature enough to fully understand and appreciate what love is about.....deb

[frogs88]

That's a beautiful poem OP - * sniff 'whipes away tear from eye'.

[TheArtist]

Ooh Gloria, you sound like my kind of girl. Unless you look like the guy on your avatar, obviously.

[loverage21]

pretty sad poem......

 

 

 

 

that aint love you must be surrounded by the blues

 

love is when it isnt only just about you,

 

love is kind love is patient , love is mature

 

love isnt about a back full of come,

trust me,believe me when i say, love is more pure

love is about tenderness, kindness loveliness

love is what you get to after all you endure

to understand, to grow, to forgive and to learn,

only then will a heart be peaceful and get what it yearns.......deb

 

 

and after the surrealness...fact is teen brains are not yet fully grown...not emotionally or intellectually mature enough to fully understand and appreciate what love is about.....deb

 

 

Well, this guy continued to tell me this:

 

the emotion and intensity of love which is dopamine that people feel when meeting one another and encourages them to have sex fades in terms of its release as people get older. In addition, as people spend more time together usually in LTR u get less release over time. This is why relationships have something called a honeymoon phase where people are heads over heel each other that last for 3 months max.

 

"You think after a girl or guy hits 20 it becomes dull and they just "settle" ?"

 

No this happens around 30's when women are pressured to get married and/or really want babies.

 

Women around their 20-24 range can still love you but it just won't be fully based on them liking you for you but your material possessions like your car, house/apartment partially. Men around this time period seem to be playing the field. As u move into your 25-30's many people are looking for someone they like yes, but they are willing to compromise.

 

The idea of steamy, passionate, head over heel relationship for something more pragmatic.

 

The most intense feeling of love in which both parties love one another for each other alone will only be felt when they are in their teens.

[todreaminblue]

Well, this guy continued to tell me this:

 

the emotion and intensity of love which is dopamine that people feel when meeting one another and encourages them to have sex fades in terms of its release as people get older. In addition, as people spend more time together usually in LTR u get less release over time. This is why relationships have something called a honeymoon phase where people are heads over heel each other that last for 3 months max.

 

"You think after a girl or guy hits 20 it becomes dull and they just "settle" ?"

 

No this happens around 30's when women are pressured to get married and/or really want babies.

 

Women around their 20-24 range can still love you but it just won't be fully based on them liking you for you but your material possessions like your car, house/apartment partially. Men around this time period seem to be playing the field. As u move into your 25-30's many people are looking for someone they like yes, but they are willing to compromise.

 

The idea of steamy, passionate, head over heel relationship for something more pragmatic.

 

The most intense feeling of love in which both parties love one another for each other alone will only be felt when they are in their teens.

 

i think that guy has love and lust mixed up....

 

passion incites a desire that makes you love what or who you are passionate about..that intensity can be kept or discarded...but true head over heels passion lasts a life time.....lust however ......is an intense emotion that is intense as it is fleeting.....more a body feeling than a heartfelt guts and glory passion for the person.....

 

reminds me of this movie with mel gibson ...the passion of the christ ...couldnt watch the movie it made me sob my throat swelled and i had to leave but what i was left with was the title...what that man was and his passion for people....ie....true love......anything any mortal does on earth will never reach that level of passion but we see glimpses in people who die for their country or their loved ones or their friends...great is he who would lie down for his friends......that to me is unadulterated passion that is true love....passion to me requites sacrifice.....personal sacrifice.....

 

dont get me wrong i happen to love sex more into making love though........more so now than i did when i was a teen ...i was too confused....i hated men touching me intimately actually..i should have become a nun ...instead i became a hooker.....so i do know about sex and hormones and chemical reaction ....sex didnt give me anything but a numbness...a disconnection from soul to body...the fact was i wanted love not sex....love not lust...i wanted to connect on a deeper level...and i truly believe that deeper connection comes with life and maturity.....not on a hormonal or chemical reaction as you speak of.....its pure mechanics and chemistry...cold facts

 

some of the most passionate people who truly love others on earth......are virgins they havent or dont have sex......there has to be a defined distinction between lust and true love..too many broken hearted people believe in the emptiness of lust.....when its true love they really want........deb

Edited November 21, 2015 by todreaminblue

[loverage21]

i think that guy has love and lust mixed up....

 

passion incites a desire that makes you love what or who you are passionate about..that intensity can be kept or discarded...but true head over heels passion lasts a life time.....lust however ......is an intense emotion that is intense as it is fleeting.....more a body feeling than a heartfelt guts and glory passion for the person.....

 

reminds me of this movie with mel gibson ...the passion of the christ ...couldnt watch the movie it made me sob my throat swelled and i had to leave but what i was left with was the title...what that man was and his passion for people....ie....true love......anything any mortal does on earth will never reach that level of passion but we see glimpses in people who die for their country or their loved ones or their friends...great is he who would lie down for his friends......that to me is unadulterated passion that is true love....passion to me requites sacrifice.....personal sacrifice.....

 

dont get me wrong i happen to love sex more into making love though........more so now than i did when i was a teen ...i was too confused....i hated men touching me intimately actually..i should have become a nun ...instead i became a hooker.....so i do know about sex and hormones and chemical reaction ....sex didnt give me anything but a numbness...a disconnection from soul to body...the fact was i wanted love not sex....love not lust...i wanted to connect on a deeper level...and i truly believe that deeper connection comes with life and maturity.....not on a hormonal or chemical reaction as you speak of.....its pure mechanics and chemistry...cold facts

 

some of the most passionate people who truly love others on earth......are virgins they havent or dont have sex......there has to be a defined distinction between lust and true love..too many broken hearted people believe in the emptiness of lust.....when its true love they really want........deb

 

But in a way, wasnt this guy right? I mean think back to your first "love" or first relationship when you were a teen. A guy didn't have to provide a girl with any financial security or a house or anything that was materialistic. But yet she still was head over heals for him. And grown adults, well into their middle ages and beyond, still hold their first love experiences to high regard.

[frogs88]

I can identify slightly with it though - last time I 'fell in love' (infatuation, can't stop thinking about her, nervous around her etc) was in my teens and I'm late twenties now. It's more than a decade ago. Or does it only apply to the genders reversed?

[lana-banana]

That poem is disgusting.

 

I don't care about anyone I "loved" as a teenager. I don't even think of them unless I'm thinking about my relationship history.

 

Love and life is so much more amazing now that I'm an adult with a very well-paying job, have the time to pursue my passions, and can share it all with a man I love more wildly and deeply than anyone I've ever known. The thought of being a teenager again---when sex was awkward, painful and strange, and being unable to make my own major decisions---makes me shudder.

[Gloria25]

But in a way, wasnt this guy right? I mean think back to your first "love" or first relationship when you were a teen. A guy didn't have to provide a girl with any financial security or a house or anything that was materialistic. But yet she still was head over heals for him. And grown adults, well into their middle ages and beyond, still hold their first love experiences to high regard.

 

The guy is wrong, dead wrong...he must be married to "one of those" who put sex on the backburner, got fat and lazy and/or put everything above the marriage (i.e. friends, career, family).

 

I'm going on 40 and sex, passion, etc. is important to me along with a man's ability to provide. No, I don't need his money, but total turn off if a guy is broke, a loser and/or doesn't have a job/career, home, car, etc.

 

Yes, teens operate on a lot of emotion and hormones. Like deb said, their brains literally are still in development. The cannot appreciate, understand and even sometimes handle what comes into play regarding sex, dating, and even "love".

 

So yes, a lot of teens (both male and female) "think" they are in love. They "think" they need to have sex. They "think" that pimply-faced guy is the one they will be with "forever and ever and ever". Then in their 30's they probably won't even remember that guy...literally.

 

Yes, as we get older physically we don't desire sex and/or have the capacity to do it as much as we did as younger; and, with a need to simply get sleep for whatever reason (work, kids) sometimes last thing on your mind is having sex for hours...but, that doesn't mean passion ends.

 

Why do women want sex less once they settle? Many reasons:

 

-Some of them have problems separating the "mommy" from the "sex kitten" image. They don't feel that a "wife" and "mother" should be passionate, sexy, etc.

 

-Some of them are really ignorant as to the importance of sex in relationships. Over the past generations, older women have stopped teaching women how to treat their men. So, women see a man asking for sex as him "nagging" her. Actually, the women's movement has women thinking that men should be more like them. Men should cry, talk about feeeelings all day. My fav podcaster had a woman call in, who just didn't "get it" that why on "date nite" that she and her husband agreed upon, that on "his" night he wanted sex and on "her" night she didn't want sex, but literally to sit around and "talk".

 

Men need sex not just cuz of the physical release, but to "connect" with their women. It's how men get validation/approval. Women, while we have the capacity to enjoy sex, we can do without it and get love, connection, etc through other means. Women get satisfaction from their guy brining home that pay check, sitting down and listening to her whine, etc. Buy a woman some flowers and candy, she'll have an orgasm right and there.

 

-Means to an end. Again, I believe a lot of teens and women throughout their life aren't really needing of sex, but they get enthusiastic for sex because sex gets them what they want. Some women consciously are aware of this and control their sexual desires to get men to do what they want ("feminine wiles" if she's a good girl, and "manipulations" if she's a bad girl).

 

So, if a woman has low self-esteem and wants guys to like her? She's giving Bjs to pimply high school boys in the school rest rooms. If a woman wants her man to knock her up and/or marry her, she's having sex with him and is enthusiastic. Once women get what they want (the ring and/or kids), yep, sex is no longer a "priority" to them cuz it was a "means to an end". Not all women are like this, but many are. That's why when you get married you put off having kids to see if she's really into "you" rather than what you can do for her.

 

So, this guy that told you about this "poem". He must have been one of those guys that married a sucky wife and is "stuck" in a bad marriage. He'll be one of those guys that have what a lot of women call a "mid life crisis" when the kids are 18 up and out, when fact is he was waiting till the kids were 18 to get out of the misery that was his marriage. OH, then you have the people who whine "we grew apart"...Uh, no, you stopped working on the RL (you and your spouse). You got lazy. You made kids and bills your priorities.

 

The guy who wrote this "poem" is wrong, lots of married people who "settled" still having good times in their marriage. My brother and their wife, ten years marriage. Last nite they had a "nite cap" (drinks and chillin'). That's what you do in a marriage, you nurish the RL...it's not just about kids and bills.

[loverage21]

The guy is wrong, dead wrong...he must be married to "one of those" who put sex on the backburner, got fat and lazy and/or put everything above the marriage (i.e. friends, career, family).

 

I'm going on 40 and sex, passion, etc. is important to me along with a man's ability to provide. No, I don't need his money, but total turn off if a guy is broke, a loser and/or doesn't have a job/career, home, car, etc.

 

Yes, teens operate on a lot of emotion and hormones. Like deb said, their brains literally are still in development. The cannot appreciate, understand and even sometimes handle what comes into play regarding sex, dating, and even "love".

 

So yes, a lot of teens (both male and female) "think" they are in love. They "think" they need to have sex. They "think" that pimply-faced guy is the one they will be with "forever and ever and ever". Then in their 30's they probably won't even remember that guy...literally.

 

Yes, as we get older physically we don't desire sex and/or have the capacity to do it as much as we did as younger; and, with a need to simply get sleep for whatever reason (work, kids) sometimes last thing on your mind is having sex for hours...but, that doesn't mean passion ends.

 

Why do women want sex less once they settle? Many reasons:

 

-Some of them have problems separating the "mommy" from the "sex kitten" image. They don't feel that a "wife" and "mother" should be passionate, sexy, etc.

 

-Some of them are really ignorant as to the importance of sex in relationships. Over the past generations, older women have stopped teaching women how to treat their men. So, women see a man asking for sex as him "nagging" her. Actually, the women's movement has women thinking that men should be more like them. Men should cry, talk about feeeelings all day. My fav podcaster had a woman call in, who just didn't "get it" that why on "date nite" that she and her husband agreed upon, that on "his" night he wanted sex and on "her" night she didn't want sex, but literally to sit around and "talk".

 

Men need sex not just cuz of the physical release, but to "connect" with their women. It's how men get validation/approval. Women, while we have the capacity to enjoy sex, we can do without it and get love, connection, etc through other means. Women get satisfaction from their guy brining home that pay check, sitting down and listening to her whine, etc. Buy a woman some flowers and candy, she'll have an orgasm right and there.

 

-Means to an end. Again, I believe a lot of teens and women throughout their life aren't really needing of sex, but they get enthusiastic for sex because sex gets them what they want. Some women consciously are aware of this and control their sexual desires to get men to do what they want ("feminine wiles" if she's a good girl, and "manipulations" if she's a bad girl).

 

So, if a woman has low self-esteem and wants guys to like her? She's giving Bjs to pimply high school boys in the school rest rooms. If a woman wants her man to knock her up and/or marry her, she's having sex with him and is enthusiastic. Once women get what they want (the ring and/or kids), yep, sex is no longer a "priority" to them cuz it was a "means to an end". Not all women are like this, but many are. That's why when you get married you put off having kids to see if she's really into "you" rather than what you can do for her.

 

So, this guy that told you about this "poem". He must have been one of those guys that married a sucky wife and is "stuck" in a bad marriage. He'll be one of those guys that have what a lot of women call a "mid life crisis" when the kids are 18 up and out, when fact is he was waiting till the kids were 18 to get out of the misery that was his marriage. OH, then you have the people who whine "we grew apart"...Uh, no, you stopped working on the RL (you and your spouse). You got lazy. You made kids and bills your priorities.

 

The guy who wrote this "poem" is wrong, lots of married people who "settled" still having good times in their marriage. My brother and their wife, ten years marriage. Last nite they had a "nite cap" (drinks and chillin'). That's what you do in a marriage, you nurish the RL...it's not just about kids and bills.

 

Again, you said a woman gets satisfaction from a guy bringing home a paycheck.

 

When you were a teen and in high school, your bf didn't have to bring back a paycheck, or have a car, or even a job. But the girl was still head over heals for that guy. All he had to do was be her boyfriend and care. And not only that, it was one of the most if not the most intense relationships she has ever had.

[lana-banana]

Again, you said a woman gets satisfaction from a guy bringing home a paycheck.

 

When you were a teen and in high school, your bf didn't have to bring back a paycheck, or have a car, or even a job. But the girl was still head over heals for that guy. All he had to do was be her boyfriend and care. And not only that, it was one of the most if not the most intense relationships she has ever had.

 

 

So this is really about how you feel unable to provide for/meet the expectations of women your own age, and instead of trying to better yourself you're mad that you can't prey on innocent young women?

[loverage21]

So this is really about how you feel unable to provide for/meet the expectations of women your own age, and instead of trying to better yourself you're mad that you can't prey on innocent young women?

 

 

No. I am not saying that at all.

 

I am asking, what's the point anymore? I missed out on being a girl's purest form of love.

 

I am saying that young love is the most purest of all. A girl can love a guy for him alone and simply because he loves her back. He didn't have to have anything elaborate or special. He didn't have to provide her with financial stability, a household, or anything like that. No expectations except him being cute in her eyes and him loving her. And to her, he is her everything. He will always be special to her, because he represents a time of innocence to her, a time of simplicity, a time where she discovered what it meant to have unguarded and fiery feelings for someone. Even though she may not be in love with him anymore, the concept still stands.

 

Yes, a lot of it can be lust. But I have seen both girls and guys manage to remain in 2 year relationships or more while in high school. It happens more than you think.

[lana-banana]

No, it really isn't. Dozens of women on these forums, myself included, have told you there's nothing particularly special about teenage or first love. We have told you we don't really remember or care about those experiences, that they didn't shape our future relationships, and that we have no sentimental attachment to our first loves. Yet you refuse to acknowledge this. Why? Why can't you accept the reality? Why are you fixated on a fantasy?

[loverage21]

No, it really isn't. Dozens of women on these forums, myself included, have told you there's nothing particularly special about teenage or first love. We have told you we don't really remember or care about those experiences, that they didn't shape our future relationships, and that we have no sentimental attachment to our first loves. Yet you refuse to acknowledge this. Why? Why can't you accept the reality? Why are you fixated on a fantasy?

 

And kudos to you.

 

But the CONCEPT remains.

 

That with mature "love", you factor in a guy's ability to provide support other than the fact you find each other attractive and the feelings you have for each other. It becomes more complex and more conditional.

 

There are girls who have been in relationships for one or more years of high school. My most recent crush was a good example. Did her high school love have to have a job? No. Did he have to have a house? No. Did he have to provide her with financial stability? No. Yet, it was one of the most intensive feelings that a she can have towards a guy.

 

You may have gone on to love more people, yes. But I guarantee that when you went for the guy you are with now, you were also looking for his ability to provide a stable household and have finances in order and all that.

[Gloria25]

Again, you said a woman gets satisfaction from a guy bringing home a paycheck.

 

When you were a teen and in high school, your bf didn't have to bring back a paycheck, or have a car, or even a job. But the girl was still head over heals for that guy. All he had to do was be her boyfriend and care. And not only that, it was one of the most if not the most intense relationships she has ever had.

 

But, hello,

 

Why are you putting so much weight on how a "girl" (not a mature "woman") felt about you when at the age(s) this took place neither you nor her were mature enough to recognize what you were doing/feeling?

 

Teens are acting out of hormones and emotions. Even as an adult, if you're making a decision to be with someone only on hornies, sex goggles, blue balls, and/or emotions your RL will fail.

 

Don't take this the wrong way, but the "intensity" of your teenage "love" was nothing. It was based on raging hormones and brains that weren't fully developed. Quite frankly studies show that it isn't until mid 20's that the brain is developed.

 

What does that mean? Teens, tweens and early 20's people make a lot of stupid decisions based on impulse, hornies, raging hormones. If teens had enough maturity to make wise choices - why aren't we allowing them certain rights/responsibilities at their age? Why is car insurance so high up to your mid 20's?

 

Although I was mature for my age, I wasted my teens and 20's with a lot of guys who now a days couldn't get my attention.

 

Not sure why you're holding onto your teens as the only time in your life when a a female showed you passion, interest, and/or attention. There are people in their 20's, 30's, 40's, even 50's who have and will continue to have "intense", "passionate" - even "obsessive" RLs.

 

I'm sorry if after this teenage experience you haven't met a woman who rocked your world and that instead of seeking it, you keep on dwelling on a one-time high school experience that meant NOTHING. Yes, I said it, NOTHING. Now, the fact that it meant NOTHING has/had to do with your worth, attractiveness, etc.

 

Also, while you may never meet someone like you did in your teens - you will meet others who while not the same, will also provide you with passion, interest, "intensity". My 6 yr guy? Great sex. He "understood" me. Since him, haven't met a guy yet that just "got" me at that level. But I've met men who while not the "same" passion, sex, etc. we had our "own" kind of great sex, passion, etc. In other words, you'll never find a "clone" of someone you've dated. I'm also very honest with myself. I look at my 6yr guy and acknowledge both the good and bad. You talk about this teenage experience as if it was worthy of gold and I can assure you it wasn't. But you need to hold onto it for "some" reason that probably a counselor can help you with.

 

So, it's up to you...you can stay in the past and keep on dwelling on it or you can take hold of your present and seek out and get with that special "someone" who can meet your level of "intensity", "desire", "passions". Trust me, there are women out there like that. There are women who you don't have to choose between "marriage material" and "passion" - they are the total package. I believe I'm one of them

[Gloria25]

And kudos to you.

 

But the CONCEPT remains.

 

That with mature "love", you factor in a guy's ability to provide support other than the fact you find each other attractive and the feelings you have for each other. It becomes more complex and more conditional.

 

WRONG, and DEAD WRONG...

 

I have my own stuff, I never and will ever need a guy to provide for me. When I look at a guy, my panties don't get wet cuz of what he can "do" for me when it comes to my bills. For a woman who wants to get married and/or have kids - of course, his ability to provide is going to make him attractive. But, even "if" I was seeking a provider, passion is important to me. PERIOD.

 

I once had a gf who asked me why I won't get to know a guy before testing him out sexually and I told her: 'Cuz sex is important to me, if we can't have good times he is of no use to me'. That's one reason why I also seek fit men. I don't want a couch potato with money. I want someone to have sex with, activities, enjoy life with.

 

Does his ability to earn still make a difference to me although I don't need his money? Yes. Why? Because I'm not dating a loser, a bum. If he has his hand out to me and/or have drama and drives a hooptie, he ain't worth my time. This is a "man's world" and if I got better stuff than him, that's a turn off.

[loverage21]

WRONG, and DEAD WRONG...

 

I have my own stuff, I never and will ever need a guy to provide for me. When I look at a guy, my panties don't get wet cuz of what he can "do" for me when it comes to my bills. For a woman who wants to get married and/or have kids - of course, his ability to provide is going to make him attractive. But, even "if" I was seeking a provider, passion is important to me. PERIOD.

 

I once had a gf who asked me why I won't get to know a guy before testing him out sexually and I told her: 'Cuz sex is important to me, if we can't have good times he is of no use to me'. That's one reason why I also seek fit men. I don't want a couch potato with money. I want someone to have sex with, activities, enjoy life with.

 

Does his ability to earn still make a difference to me although I don't need his money? Yes. Why? Because I'm not dating a loser, a bum. If he has his hand out to me and/or have drama and drives a hooptie, he ain't worth my time. This is a "man's world" and if I got better stuff than him, that's a turn off.

 

 

First love relationships is based on attraction and showing feeling and affection towards each other.

 

So how about this:

 

When I go out with a girl, whatever we do is going to be FREE at no financial expense to me. Like a walk in the park.

 

I won't disclose to her my employment status, I won't disclose to her where I live.

 

I will show up in a crappy, beat down car.

 

Although, like with a first love experiences, I will at least look decent, have good hygiene, and I will come with the desire to show affection and an agreement to commit.

 

If we hit it off, I still will not show her where I live. I won't disclose my financial status. I will let her meet my parents and maybe go to my parents house for dinner.

 

Basically, I will do nothing different than what you would have with a teen romance.

 

If she loves me for me, then my commitment towards her and affection towards her should be more than enough.

 

If we get married, I am going to live in one of those tiny, portable tumbleweed homes. We won't get legally married. Our marriage will be a life commitment towards each other rather than a legal binding. She will not have access to my assets. She will have to own her own place, have her own possessions, and be independent

 

The only thing I will provide is again, commitment to her and an emotional connection. Just like you would have with a long term high school relationship.

 

Because if she loves me for me, than I don't have to provide anything materialistic. As long as I give her my heart and give her my all emotionally, and she is able to do the same in return, then I know it is pure.

Edited November 21, 2015 by loverage21

[SoulCat]

Op, at this moment in time you really are a bit of a lost cause.

You keep clinging on to this idea of 'teenage/pure love' that in reality doesn't mean a thing.

You will learn as you get older, but only if you open yourself up to the learning experience. Clearly the opinions of us here hasn't done anything to sway your opinion on the matter and I fear you will hold on to this stupid Disney fairytale notion.

 

 

In that case, good luck to you OP, on ever finding love.

[basil67]

First love relationships is based on attraction and showing feeling and affection towards each other.

 

So how about this:

 

When I go out with a girl, whatever we do is going to be FREE at no financial expense to me. Like a walk in the park.

 

I won't disclose to her my employment status, I won't disclose to her where I live.

 

I will show up in a crappy, beat down car.

 

Although, like with a first love experiences, I will at least look decent, have good hygiene, and I will come with the desire to show affection and an agreement to commit.

 

If we hit it off, I still will not show her where I live. I won't disclose my financial status. I will let her meet my parents and maybe go to my parents house for dinner.

 

Basically, I will do nothing different than what you would have with a teen romance.

 

If she loves me for me, then my commitment towards her and affection towards her should be more than enough.

 

If we get married, I am going to live in one of those tiny, portable tumbleweed homes. We won't get legally married. Our marriage will be a life commitment towards each other rather than a legal binding. She will not have access to my assets. She will have to own her own place, have her own possessions, and be independent

 

The only thing I will provide is again, commitment to her and an emotional connection. Just like you would have with a long term high school relationship.

 

Because if she loves me for me, than I don't have to provide anything materialistic. As long as I give her my heart and give her my all emotionally, and she is able to do the same in return, then I know it is pure.

 

Loverage21, the 1950's are calling. They want you back. Why do you not factor in that women work and contribute their share to marriage these days?

 

As I write this, my 16yo is out with her boyfriend. They don't limit themselves to free stuff such as walks in the park - they also go out and do things which cost money. Today they are at a vintage fair where they will pay an entry fee, pay for swing dance lessons and buy their lunches. She pays for herself and he pays for himself. If you think a teenage girl would be happy with a guy who had not a cent to his name, you're sorely mistaken. There is only so much free stuff one can do before it gets boring.

[casey.lives]

teenage love is overrated. I've had it and others and none is the better. It sounds pessimistic and narrow "hearted". True love is the most important.

[loverage21]

Loverage21, the 1950's are calling. They want you back. Why do you not factor in that women work and contribute their share to marriage these days?

 

As I write this, my 16yo is out with her boyfriend. They don't limit themselves to free stuff such as walks in the park - they also go out and do things which cost money. Today they are at a vintage fair where they will pay an entry fee, pay for swing dance lessons and buy their lunches. She pays for herself and he pays for himself. If you think a teenage girl would be happy with a guy who had not a cent to his name, you're sorely mistaken. There is only so much free stuff one can do before it gets boring.

 

Then what makes first/young love something so special and unforgettable that you can't replicate?

 

Even psychologists agree that teen love affects relationships and puts unrealistic expectations well into adulthood.

 

But again, teen love is purest and blind. You love for the sake of loving.

 

But then there are theories about dopamine production and how it decreases with age.

[Gloria25]

Then what makes first/young love something so special and unforgettable that you can't replicate?

 

^^Uh, I lost count of how many people responding to this thread for which "first/young love" isn't/wasn't what you feel it is. It's not as "special" when you, as a knowledgeable adult can look back and see it for what it was - hornies, emotions, and hormones.

Even psychologists agree that teen love affects relationships and puts unrealistic expectations well into adulthood.

 

This ^^ is the only part I agree with you on because you obviously are basing your expectations about love, relationships, etc on silly teenagers poop.

But again, teen love is purest and blind. You love for the sake of loving.

 

^^It's based on ignorance, emotions, hornies, and hormones. How can you "love" someone without knowing "why" you love them? Cuz you don't, you're just operating off of emotions, hornies, hormones.

 

But then there are theories about dopamine production and how it decreases with age.

 

My answers are in bold above...^^