Unnatural hair colors at funerals..is it appropriate?

[GiaJackie]

My aunt passed away a gew days ago. We weren't close but I'll be going to her funeral in a week. I know what one should wear and that it should be modest clothes in dark plain colors. My problem is i have my bangs and the front of my hair dyed bright purple and the dye is a brand that's really hard to get out. It feels a little rude to go to a funeral with something so bright and attention grabbing like thay. But I kind of don't want to go and alter my hair because of just one day.. Should I maybe hide them under a headband or would it be best to just dye dye them to match the rest of my hair?

[quankanne]

I'm sorry for your loss, gia

 

while your hair may be unusual in color or style, don't give it a second guess. Your presence is what matters to someone in mourning, not what color your hair is.

that said, please dress appropriately. Showing up in your disco-dancing clothes probably would bug people more than your hair color would!

[loveweary11]

That's not even close to a concern.

 

I've never heard of anyone altering their appearance for a funeral.

 

All you need to do is show up wearing the darker dressy clothing, hopefully black.

 

There is absolutely no reason to change who you are for a funeral.

 

It's not a wedding. The bride won't be upset. No one will notice or care.

[quankanne]

probably off-topic, but I've seen many people wear colors other than black to funerals, and no one seemed to mind. Again, i think it was the fact that someone wanted to show up and pay their respects (at either a funeral or a viewing) was what comforts someone.

 

maybe a good rule of thumb is to make sure your hair is combed, your face is clean and your clothing is in good taste? I think that's what we do anyways, when going somewhere important.

[d0nnivain]

I am very conservative & proper. That said when I was one of the chief mourners at funerals recently I couldn't tell you what anybody wore or what they looked like. I only knew they showed up. They hugged me & they took time to share my grief.

 

 

If your parents especially the sibling of the aunt who passed is going to pitch a fit at you & make everybody else uncomfortable, perhaps address your hair color with that person before the funeral. Otherwise just go & be there for your family & yourself.

 

 

I too am sorry for your loss.

[truthtripper]

I am very conservative & proper. That said when I was one of the chief mourners at funerals recently I couldn't tell you what anybody wore or what they looked like. I only knew they showed up. They hugged me & they took time to share my grief

I recently attended a funeral and the sister of the deceased had bright pink dreadlocks. Your presence is more important than what you wear. But if you're worried about what others think, stick to all black attire.

 

When my grandfather died, I wore a red top and an olive green skirt. Ironically and interestingly, the only person who was seemingly offended was my eldest aunt, who hated my grandfather.

[AspenBaldwin]

Wear one of those widow hats.

[basil67]

I was at a funeral recently and was the only person wearing nice, dark clothes. Everyone else was dressed rather casually.

 

I wouldn't worry too much - your presence is what is important.

 

And I hope this isn't inappropriate to ask here, but what dye do you use for your hair? I find the brights wash out so quickly.

[Myragal]

Depends. I've been to 3 funerals in the last decade or so. No dress code. All casual and upbeat. Beer and wine. Lots of laughing.

 

However, it's really about the immediate family...especially the spouse. You should cater to their expectations. It's not the time to be a free spirit, etc. It is a time for the closest family members to them. Purple hair might be fine..might not be. It's one time in life to put others before yourself. Having said that, I doubt if anyone will care or notice.