Anxiety or something more?

[Ohman007]

Hello Everyone,

 

I need some advice. Recently I broke up with my GF of a few months; and have been having a tough time of it. My reasons for breaking up with her were not anything terrible; I just felt like I wasn't as in to her as she was into me. She's more experienced with relationships than me, and basically knew what she wanted, while I feel like I still need to "discover myself" (I know, cliche).

 

Since the breakup, I've been having some serious anxiety issues. I kinda pride myself on being a good person, and have never broken up with someone before. The breakup has made me have some crazy thoughts; I keep thinking what if this keeps happening to me over and over, with me bailing out of a relationship and hurting people. I also have been doing this weird thing where I question whether or not I "feel" emotions as strongly as others (probably stemming from me not being as into her as she was into me); I keep thinking that I am going to be doomed to this existence where I constantly second guess my emotions and feelings, and that I won't have a good quality of life as others. These thought have been really troubling me and have caused me to be in tears at some points, and have left me wanting to just feel safe and secure. It's really messing me up. Also, it comes in waves; at one point I'll be fine, and then I'll descend into this fog of anxiety and these crazy thoughts.

 

I'm not even 100% sure what I want to get out of this post, it just feels good to write about it I suppose. Does anyone have any experience with these types of thoughts or know if it might be some kind of "disorder"? Any thoughts on the subject are welcome.