My Story...Introduction

[BloomingFlower]

Hi,

I will try to make this brief. I can't believe I'm here, but yet...here I am. Coming out of a 25+ year marriage, having known each other 31 years. He was a cheater and drinker throughout our marriage. I always thought as a good "Christian" wife, I could work through. Final blow happened 6 years ago, I could no longer deal with it. Tried for several years to do what was right, but 3 years later, had an affair of my own that lasted 3 years.

 

 

I moved out just about a year ago, as my marriage ended when that death blow was dealt 6 years ago. It was a mortal wound, that changed me and I knew I was done. Finally going to file for divorce next month. With all that said, I began having sexual affairs with 2 married men. One, strictly just sex, and the other began somewhat of a relationship. Ended the "just sex" one and spent a lot of time with the other guy, as his wife traveled a lot. One day while skyping with him, she called and I heard her voice as he and I were ending the call. That made me feel like a piece of crap, because here I was doing to her, what was done to me. How did I now become this person, who I despised when it was happening to me. I remember even crying and begging my friend to end an affair she was having with a MM a few years back. Now look at me. Wow. It's almost like an outer body experience for me.

 

 

Never say never, right?

 

 

I don't want him to leave her or anything, I just enjoy his company. When I told him I felt like crap because it made it "real". He said it's always been "real", which of course was true. We just spent so much time together since she is gone all the time, I found it easy to put her out of my mind.

 

 

Well that is my story of how I have become the OW seeing a MM. Sorry to sound so disjointed. I can articulate better than this LOL. I just finally had the courage to sign up and post after lurking for so long.

[Krashi]

Yes, very strange, inexplicable, that you are now injuring other wives, when you, yourself, know the intense pain. Do you have any idea why you have chosen this path? It strikes me that you do have a conscience and empathy. What flipped this switch. No one else can tell you. Only you know.

[anika99]

Well it sounds like you spent years in an abusive marriage (cheating is abusive) and you finally left that only to put yourself into another painful relationship only this time it is self inflicted pain because you knowingly chose to be involved with a married man.

 

Why the rush to be involved with a man anyways? Spending time being alone and single can be very rewarding. It gives you time to heal from past hurts and get your head straight. Women who can't live without a man usually don't make very good decisions when it comes to picking a partner.

[CALOVELY]

Hi,

I will try to make this brief. I can't believe I'm here, but yet...here I am. Coming out of a 25+ year marriage, having known each other 31 years. He was a cheater and drinker throughout our marriage. I always thought as a good "Christian" wife, I could work through. Final blow happened 6 years ago, I could no longer deal with it. Tried for several years to do what was right, but 3 years later, had an affair of my own that lasted 3 years.

 

 

I moved out just about a year ago, as my marriage ended when that death blow was dealt 6 years ago. It was a mortal wound, that changed me and I knew I was done. Finally going to file for divorce next month. With all that said, I began having sexual affairs with 2 married men. One, strictly just sex, and the other began somewhat of a relationship. Ended the "just sex" one and spent a lot of time with the other guy, as his wife traveled a lot. One day while skyping with him, she called and I heard her voice as he and I were ending the call. That made me feel like a piece of crap, because here I was doing to her, what was done to me. How did I now become this person, who I despised when it was happening to me. I remember even crying and begging my friend to end an affair she was having with a MM a few years back. Now look at me. Wow. It's almost like an outer body experience for me.

 

 

Never say never, right?

 

 

I don't want him to leave her or anything, I just enjoy his company. When I told him I felt like crap because it made it "real". He said it's always been "real", which of course was true. We just spent so much time together since she is gone all the time, I found it easy to put her out of my mind.

 

 

Well that is my story of how I have become the OW seeing a MM. Sorry to sound so disjointed. I can articulate better than this LOL. I just finally had the courage to sign up and post after lurking for so long.

 

 

You are worth so much more than this! Reducing yourself down to seconds, you are only continuing your abuse from the STBX. You are worthy of love and so much more. Yes, he's the first guy who understands you and listens. Guess what? You can get that with a man who isn't married. Countless men who don't have marriages or relationships would be thrilled to have a woman like you. A caring, nice and loving woman. Don't sell yourself short to being a cheap hobby, not after everything you have been through.