inpursuit Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 Okay so I am a 19 years old kissless, handholdless, hugless and dateless virgin. I consider myself forever alone since 17. Reasons I am fa are I think: not pretty I am not hideous I am maybe 4 or 5 facially,fat(lost 9 kg so I am working on it also plan on getting ripped after I lose weight)boring, unfunny, don't know what to talk about, don't meet any women because I have no friends and high standards. As I said I am looking for advice so here it goes. What are the socially acceptable places to meet women? I know school,work,through friends,clubs and classes(like art school,dance classes etc...) but what about the rest? Second how do I practice having more things to talk about with both girls I am interested in and people in general,how to have more interesting topics to talk about and how to be more funny? Thanks in advance for all the replies. Link to post Share on other sites
marcusdevilliers Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 Okay so I am a 19 years old kissless, handholdless, hugless and dateless virgin. I consider myself forever alone since 17. Reasons I am fa are I think: not pretty I am not hideous I am maybe 4 or 5 facially,fat(lost 9 kg so I am working on it also plan on getting ripped after I lose weight)boring, unfunny, don't know what to talk about, don't meet any women because I have no friends and high standards. As I said I am looking for advice so here it goes. What are the socially acceptable places to meet women? I know school,work,through friends,clubs and classes(like art school,dance classes etc...) but what about the rest? Second how do I practice having more things to talk about with both girls I am interested in and people in general,how to have more interesting topics to talk about and how to be more funny? Thanks in advance for all the replies. Your 19 bro. Don't let the social life inflict the wrong idea to u. I'm 21. Close age right. And I use to feel like you sometimes. I met a girl got together. She broke my heart and I learned a lot from that. At this age you should focus more on school and work and so fort. But getting to what u wanna hear. Yes school and other places is where u can meet women. U need to put work on yourself and get alot of confidence. Confidence and self worth will make u feel like a man. Anf things will open up to u. Theres a guy on youtube, alpha m. He gives good advicd and plenty tips. Check him out. Be brave be cocky. Its all good. And everybody may not be the most handsome but well dressed eliminates all that. Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 When you are young the world looks a certain way & you don't have enough life experience to take the long view. However, you will not be alone forever if you take the time to make friends. Expand your social circle all the way around so you meet more people in general & more potential dates. Worry about the 1st kiss before you give any thought to losing your virginity. You have to learn to crawl, then walk before you can run. Try joining a group that does something you are interested in. Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Most people who lose their virginity before your age actually regret it, and 'late bloomers' actually report the highest rate of relationship satisfaction later in life. If you get out there and start making friends, you'll be well on your way to the place so many people wish they had. Link to post Share on other sites
Author inpursuit Posted November 24, 2015 Author Share Posted November 24, 2015 Could anyone please address my second question. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 How to have more interesting topics and how to be more funny. Very subjective on both counts, I think you shouldn't put pressure on yourself, my own experience is the more one things the less effective one communicates, sounds weird but its actually true. At 19, you have lots of time so don't think you need to put a timetable onto anything specific. As others have said friends and more importantly interacting are more important, wish I had not sacrificed both of those and spent year studying. The choices you make are important, don't under estimate those. Funny, everyone tell me make a girl laugh is to open her heart to some extent and I guess that's true because I make nobody laugh and as such don't get anywhere at all. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Could anyone please address my second question. You practice talking to people by talking to people. I know that is circular but it's all there is. Try this: spend 1 week smiling at random strangers. Just smiling. See what happens. next week move up to nodding at them & saying hi. Nothing more just hi. After you get comfortable doing that say something. Nice weather. How 'bout them [insert sports team]? etc. If you have the budget take a Dale Carnegie class. If you don't check his book How to Win Friends and Influence People out of the library or buy it on line. Consider joining a group called ToastMasters. It's really about improving public speaking skills but those skills translate to what you need. Nothing can make you funnier. You either are or you aren't. Although you may get some tips from an old movie called Punchline where Tom Hanks coaches Sally Field on how to be a standup comedienne Link to post Share on other sites
maturityassets Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 (edited) Lost it a few weeks before my 20th bday with my first GF. You'll learn a lot. I met my ex and current GF through mutual friends. Usually having friends displays the opposite of your current negative self-outlook. If you have some semblance of a social life it shows you have at least have some humor and likeable qualities. Now it doesn't guarantee anything but try to be at ease, honest, authentic, and open. Don't do things out of desperation or reassurance. Don't judge yourself for being quiet when you are. Eventually your personality will come out naturally if you don't force it to be something that you think is "socially attractive". So all in all your goal should be meeting people in general not just a romantic or sexual relationship. Coming from someone who lived with social anxiety and remains very much an introvert and happy with it ☺ Edited November 24, 2015 by maturityassets 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Lost it a few weeks before my 20th bday with my first GF. You'll learn a lot. I met my ex and current GF through mutual friends. Usually having friends displays the opposite of your current negative self-outlook. If you have some semblance of a social life it shows you have at least have some humor and likeable qualities. Now it doesn't guarantee anything but try to be at ease, honest, authentic, and open. Don't do things out of desperation or reassurance. Don't judge yourself for being quiet when you are. Eventually your personality will come out naturally if you don't force it to be something that you think is "socially attractive". So all in all your goal should be meeting people in general not just a romantic or sexual relationship. Coming from someone who lived with social anxiety and remains very much an introvert and happy with it ☺ A brilliant post on many levels but especially the bold parts. I read here once that one needs to be happy with oneself first, strive to achieve that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rastus Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Hi inpusuit. It is very much in order for you to want to improve your social skills which I certainly recommend you do, but at the same time, that alone is not going to make the critical difference for you. Girls have great 'radar' when it comes to the way they feel about guys who approach them. They read every bit of the non-verbal information that you generate by means of things like your body posture and the way you move, the inflections in your voice and the fine muscle movements of your face, in your eyes and around them. Very few people can consciously control such things because they derive from deeply held and usually unconscious beliefs about yourself, about girls and about the world in general. The most profound improvement in your situation will not come from better social skills (although that is still necessary). Instead, it will come from accessing and changing your underlying belief system. If you are really concerned about your ability to relate to girls, you might like to consider looking for a good life coach who can teach you how to strengthen your inner game, as well as upgrade your social skills. Link to post Share on other sites
Heracles Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 It is very much in order for you to want to improve your social skills which I certainly recommend you do, but at the same time, that alone is not going to make the critical difference for you. Girls have great 'radar' when it comes to the way they feel about guys who approach them. They read every bit of the non-verbal information that you generate by means of things like your body posture and the way you move, the inflections in your voice and the fine muscle movements of your face, in your eyes and around them. Very few people can consciously control such things because they derive from deeply held and usually unconscious beliefs about yourself, about girls and about the world in general. The most profound improvement in your situation will not come from better social skills (although that is still necessary). Instead, it will come from accessing and changing your underlying belief system. If you are really concerned about your ability to relate to girls, you might like to consider looking for a good life coach who can teach you how to strengthen your inner game, as well as upgrade your social skills. I agree with the first 4 paragraphs but you don't necessary need a life coach. Life coach means paying somebody to teach you those things. You will get exploited. You can do it yourself. You could start your journey by reading the book of Pook (Google is your friend) Link to post Share on other sites
Beach Guy Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Go join an activity you really enjoy. You'll meet people and already have a common interest to talk about. Link to post Share on other sites
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