jellybean Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Oh boo hoo..*sniff*...*sniff* - I'm now on your ignore list. Such a CRIME when a poster, who's been what you've been through (actually worse) wants you to start living a happy life again in the real world. You took everything I said the wrong way...I don't even care...one day you'll you'll 'get it'. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 I did everything for my ex because I loved her. I never expected anything back other than the "hope" she would love the guy I was. She felt the "pressure" to love me and I never let up. It's no wonder she took off the first chance she could. She needed breathing room Confused, there is NOTHING wrong with that attitude! Isn't that what we do when we're in love? We do things for the people we love because we want to make them happy, feel good, feel appreciated, feel needed, desired and cared for. If she didn't feel the same way back she should have spoken up a long time ago instead of continuing the relationship and knowing that you weren't "it" for her. That is a good quality you have, so don't lose that one. Many women would LOVE to have their men treat them with so much good. Sorry Alpha, you can lay into me about saying that - Cuz that quality should be there! Badboy, niceguy or not - Love just brings that out...Or it should anyway! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 29, 2005 Author Share Posted May 29, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Confused, there is NOTHING wrong with that attitude! Isn't that what we do when we're in love? We do things for the people we love because we want to make them happy, feel good, feel appreciated, feel needed, desired and cared for. If she didn't feel the same way back she should have spoken up a long time ago instead of continuing the relationship and knowing that you weren't "it" for her. I guess we both kept hanging on hoping she would change. Here, this is what she told a mutual friend: ....it was (breaking up with me) super hard to do, I do love him deeply as a person, I'm just not IN love with him. I feel awful but I am 100% confident that it was the right thing to do. Anyway, I broke it off last week....the relationship ultimately didn't sit right with me and I've been hanging on for a year thinking that maybe my feelings would change, but they didn't, so it was time. That is a good quality you have, so don't lose that one. Many women would LOVE to have their men treat them with so much good. Sorry Alpha, you can lay into me about saying that - Cuz that quality should be there! Badboy, niceguy or not - Love just brings that out...Or it should anyway! Thanks. The key to that was I loved her deeply. So much so that I wanted to make sure that she knew it and I know I suffocated her. I wanted to be with her all the time, to talk to her. I didn't give her space. We both need space to appreciate each other. My life was HER, but her life was more than just me. And thus we were unequally yoked. Her mom just thinks that it isn't that she isn't ready for a relationship per say, but that she is just too immature for one. Her mom is going to talk to her after finals and in a roundabout way (without mentioning me) give her an idea of what she's letting go. I have accepted the fact it's over. Which is funny because now all the sudden she is emailing me. The good thing is I am not responding right away or saying anything other than short, polite responses. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup That is a good quality you have, so don't lose that one. Many women would LOVE to have their men treat them with so much good. Sorry Alpha, you can lay into me about saying that - its all about balance....too much of a good thing or a bad thing is bad. moderation. be nice somtimes and giving and other times be not so nice and take. It is easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 29, 2005 Author Share Posted May 29, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale its all about balance....too much of a good thing or a bad thing is bad. moderation. be nice somtimes and giving and other times be not so nice and take. It is easy. Agreed, Alpha. You've always been dead-on accurate about balance. (Though I use the word "yoked') Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Read what she said. She didn't say you smothered her. She said you just aren't right for her. You seem to insist on believing that you'd still be together if only you hadn't done wrong but that's not the case. Just because you think she's your ideal mate does not mean she thinks you are hers and you have to get that. What she wrote amounts to that you two didn't have that 'click', that chemistry, that subtle something that makes you feel like you belong together. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale its all about balance....too much of a good thing or a bad thing is bad. moderation. be nice somtimes and giving and other times be not so nice and take. It is easy. Exactly. When in a relationship this should just happen naturally. IF it is forced, that is when one person feels sufficated. Read what she said. She didn't say you smothered her. She said you just aren't right for her. You seem to insist on believing that you'd still be together if only you hadn't done wrong but that's not the case. Just because you think she's your ideal mate does not mean she thinks you are hers and you have to get that. What she wrote amounts to that you two didn't have that 'click', that chemistry, that subtle something that makes you feel like you belong together. Yuppers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 29, 2005 Author Share Posted May 29, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Read what she said. She didn't say you smothered her. She said you just aren't right for her. You seem to insist on believing that you'd still be together if only you hadn't done wrong but that's not the case. Just because you think she's your ideal mate does not mean she thinks you are hers and you have to get that. What she wrote amounts to that you two didn't have that 'click', that chemistry, that subtle something that makes you feel like you belong together. Personally she told me "You're soft and clingy..." and she told me THAT was what pushed her away. She's confused, I know that. Link to post Share on other sites
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