Idk what this guy wants

[Elsa204]

Hi everyone this is my first post so I'll try not to make it too long.

 

I've been seeing this guy for about 7 months now. We were on and off because he travels a lot for business. My feelings for him have become deeper but I really don't know how to express that to him. Before I didn't take our relationship as anything but flirting.

 

The past few months he's been different. His last business trip he called me every day while he was gone which was kind of shocking to me because it always seemed like we never took eachother seriously. I feel like we've gotten closer and we talk about everything now.

 

A few weeks ago I told him that I wanted to be more serious and I basically said to him that I'd walk if we didn't start being more serious. I told him I cared about him. I was so nervous you guys because I was afraid he'd reject me. We met up that night and before I could say anything he gave me the longest hug ever and then told me that he will spend more time with me.

 

Last night we had a movie night at my apartment. We watched movies and talked a lot. I was trying to read into our conversations and his demeanor. One thing I noticed is that it was his first time in my house and he roamed freely as if he lives there. He basically made himself very at home lol. Is that weird? Also I have scars on my back from a childhood accident he noticed them and asked me what they were from and I said why (it's a sensitive subject) and he said he would need to know. I asked him why and he said because he knows there are some skin diseases that cause scars that look similar to mine. I asked him if he's accusing me of having an STD and he quickly and defensively said no. So I asked him why it's so important and he said he would need to know about something like that (still didn't understand why). So finally I opened up to him about it and we bonded over the issue. He left to go participate in a poker tournament and he said that would come back. I asked "for what?" I was literally just asking and he said to go to bed. He did come back to stay the night. We didn't have sex this night.

 

I want to ask him about what we are.... Or not. I feel like maybe it's too pushy but idk if we are working towards a real relationship. I feel really close to him but idk how to approach him about this. Idk why but I feel shy. Apart if me just wants to go with the flow but I can't help but wonder where we are headed.... Sorry guys I tried not to make it so long ??

[mystikmind2005]

Honestly, if i was in his position, i would be put a little off balance by a refusal to tell about some scars, Its not a normal response to that question, its a bit of a red flag actually. Then on top of that, he did not handle the situation well by the sound of it.

 

I bet you would have been heading for a night of passionate sex before this incident.

[Elsa204]

The scars came from an accident that I don't like to talk a out. I opened up to him about them and the accident that night

[Qboro90]

So he wasn't being very transparent about his feelings towards you and your time together..... Then you bring it up to him and he starts being more vocal, contacting you more, wanting to know more about you, wanting you to open up and share your past with him, wants to see you more, isn't just for sex because he came back that night just to sleep and be close to you..... And you are concerned now because....?

 

 

Sounds like he's making the effort to show you he wants to be in your life ever since you told him you needed more or else you'd walk. If I were you I wouldn't be so worried because he's showing you exactly what you asked for.

 

If you need to become official and have him say that you're his girlfriend then bring that up in a couple weeks if he still hasn't. Let him show you he can be consistent with his communication and affection and it's not just to get you off his back by a few instances of best behavior.

 

Are you exclusive? Does he talk to or see other women? Or are you confident that he's only seeing you. If you know he's only seeing you then you're already exclusive you just don't have the title.