Pursuit of Happiness

[DexterLS]

Hey guys, I will try to keep this short and straight to the point.

 

If you don't know about my story, there's a big thread in the breakup section here.

 

So here's a little summary for those of you who don't know about it:

- I was in a relationship of 6 years with my girlfriend.

- She moved abroad to work.

- She started cheating on me after 2 months with another guy.

- I didn't know about it until I saved up and paid her a visit.

- She was a huge bitch to me throughout the breakup and it ended very badly.

- She is still with the other guy and things are pretty serious between them.

 

This post isn't about her though (or maybe it is, I don't know). This post is mostly about me and my journey towards finding true happiness.

 

I am a fairly successful person. When the breakup happened, I was a Freelance Software Engineer in my country and obviously it was hard to keep freelancing while I was going through this ordeal. I even stopped to work for months.

 

However, a big opportunity came up for me and I am now in Abu Dhabi. It's a great city and I love it here. I am 24, a Director of Software Engineering at my company, financially very stable and the future will only get brighter for me professionally. I am loving this.

 

However, to be quite honest, I am not happier. I don't feel any better than when I was going through the breakup. I still feel very much alone. All I have right now means nothing to me. My ex came into my life when I just lost my mother to Cancer and she was a very important person in my life and I am very disappointed by her actions and how the relationship ended.

 

I know many of my friends who would kill to be in the position I am right now, with the job and everything, but I am still not happy. Maybe, subconsciously I know I would have preferred to share all of this with another person. My ex, most definitely, and I am just sad about all of this.

 

I have so many things going on for me where I should be happy. I should be grateful, but I just don't feel it. I just hope this will change in the near future.

 

Dexter

[Hopeful714]

Dexter, you may be suffering from depression. You may want to have this evaluated. From what you wrote, you have every reason to be happy and on a positive path. But for some reason you are dwelling in the past.

 

This girl you dated didn't appreciate you, and perhaps your ego is bruised. you need to let this go, and if you are experiencing difficulties doing this, I'd recommend some counseling. It may help you get to the real root of what is bothering you and holding you back.

[DexterLS]

I had been seeing a therapist back in Mauritius, but I think I need to talk to someone here too.

 

It might also be related to the fact that this is the first time I am living all alone, by myself, in a new country.

 

I will get through this.

[introverted1]

How long since the break-up? Seems pretty normal to go through a period of unhappiness after a major betrayal and break-up, even if other areas of your life are on the upswing. Research shows that all major changes, even positive ones (like getting a new job and moving to another country), cause stress, so there's that, too. Certainly, speak with a counselor if that will help.

[whichwayisup]

I had been seeing a therapist back in Mauritius, but I think I need to talk to someone here too.

 

It might also be related to the fact that this is the first time I am living all alone, by myself, in a new country.

 

I will get through this.

 

Yup this is it. And it takes time to heal from a big pain and wound that your ex caused you. Live and just be in the moment for today and focus on the now. Things will fall into place once you get more comfortable with your new job and new country. You're in a cool place, so let the experience of the culture embrace you! You'll make friends along the way and feel happier and less alone.

 

Doing counseling will help you cope with the blah that you feel now.

[DexterLS]

How long since the break-up? Seems pretty normal to go through a period of unhappiness after a major betrayal and break-up, even if other areas of your life are on the upswing. Research shows that all major changes, even positive ones (like getting a new job and moving to another country), cause stress, so there's that, too. Certainly, speak with a counselor if that will help.

 

It's 8 months now since it was officially over but she strung me along for months. We were together for 6 years.

 

Yup this is it. And it takes time to heal from a big pain and wound that your ex caused you. Live and just be in the moment for today and focus on the now. Things will fall into place once you get more comfortable with your new job and new country. You're in a cool place, so let the experience of the culture embrace you! You'll make friends along the way and feel happier and less alone.

 

Doing counseling will help you cope with the blah that you feel now.

 

Thank you. I made some friends and hopefully this will be the start of something good for me.

[Hopeful714]

Seriously, you are doing awesome. To go live in a new country all by yourself ...is something many (including myself) could never do. That takes quite a bit of kahunas!

[DexterLS]

Seriously, you are doing awesome. To go live in a new country all by yourself ...is something many (including myself) could never do. That takes quite a bit of kahunas!

 

Thank you. I appreciate that. It's never easy, but I am taking it a day at a time

[Hopeful714]

Just out of curiosity, what's it like there? Seems like the land of riches. Did you go up in that gignormous building? I've seen pics and read about it...Will most likely never make it there in my lifetime.

 

Food? Culture? How much are the condos on that crazy island shaped in a Palm on the see?

 

Damn, screw the ex,live it up!

[DexterLS]

Just out of curiosity, what's it like there? Seems like the land of riches. Did you go up in that gignormous building? I've seen pics and read about it...Will most likely never make it there in my lifetime.

 

Food? Culture? How much are the condos on that crazy island shaped in a Palm on the see?

 

Damn, screw the ex,live it up!

 

I am actually in Abu Dhabi, not in Dubai, although Dubai is 1.5 hours away. I go there during the weekends sometimes.

 

Abu Dhabi is far more expensive than Dubai. I pay around $3500 for a small one-bedroom apartment in the city. With that, you could get a 2-3 Bedroom apartment in a posh area in Dubai. I don't know how much a Condo on Palm Island would cost you..

 

Yes, I have been to Burj Khalifa. It is truly magnificent. Culture-wise, it hasn't been too hard for me to adapt. People think since it's an Islamic country, it is rather restrictive, but on the contrary, it's very open.

 

Although Dubai is much more famous than Abu Dhabi, I really like Abu Dhabi more. Here, you can at least walk in the streets, to the mall. You have fewer people here and it doesn't look like an artificial city at all.

 

About the ex, I am beginning to get used to it to be honest and I am taking this opportunity to start something new for myself. It is hard but will get through it in time.

 

Thank you