This Was Bound to Happen

[loveweary11]

Well, I've had a huge emotional change in the past months since moving aboard the new boat.

 

I'm happy. I'm free. I can drift around to places and live/travel. I see nature now, beauty of the Earth. I'm spending a lot of time cooking, continuing to build out the interior.

 

At the same time, I'm sick of dating boring, go nowhere women.

 

So, I'm not even looking now, really.

 

I find myself not even returning texts or new messages from new or existing girls. Barely snapchatting anyone.

 

I'm bored with them all. Sick of playing the game. Sick of saying the same crap over and over to get them down the path to dates/etc

 

Since I live on a boat and my work is onboard too, I'm finding a very peaceful existence outside of dating... dating which involves more effort now without a car. (I've been Ubering everywhere) I also have to launch and run the small boat into shore from the bigger one to go do things... so I don't. I stay on the peaceful boat.

 

Now... this isn't going to help me meet someone because I don't have social interactions.

 

Should I be worried about this?

 

Because I'm starting not to give AF.

Edited November 25, 2015 by loveweary11

[TaraMaiden2]

Never question your own actions. You do what you do because you can.

It's down to you, you're your own boss, and nobody has either the right, privilege or even entitlement to alter what you do, let alone give an opinion.

 

Every stage of life is a phase. Some phases are longer than others.

 

 

Should I be worried about this?

 

Change the 'should' into a 'could'.

 

ShCould I be worried about this?

 

You could be. But then again, why bother?

Just go with the flow, and let life be.

[burnt]

I'm happy. I'm free.

 

AND… you are complaining about what …??

 

I can drift around to places and live/travel. I see nature now, beauty of the Earth. I'm spending a lot of time cooking, continuing to build out the interior.

At the same time, I'm sick of dating boring, go nowhere women.

So, I'm not even looking now, really.

I find myself not even returning texts or new messages from new or existing girls. Barely snapchatting anyone.

I'm bored with them all. Sick of playing the game. Sick of saying the same crap over and over to get them down the path to dates/etc

It's awful when we can't get what we need or want. If you feel free from that need/want for the time being, that's wonderful.

Enjoy the blissful liberation from boredom and expectations.

 

Should I be worried about this?

People work so hard to GET RID of the worries they feel burdened by.

And you are asking if you SHOULD have worries.

You are worrying about not having worries?!?

 

Because I'm starting not to give AF.

Good for you. Cherish it while it lasts.

[Oregon_Dude]

I find myself not even returning texts or new messages from new or existing girls. Barely snapchatting anyone.

 

I'm bored with them all. Sick of playing the game. Sick of saying the same crap over and over to get them down the path to dates/etc

The irony is, your lack of response will make you even more desirable to them, since many women are pea-brained and only want what's difficult to obtain.

 

You are the Man, dude. Your life is enviable. Embrace this contentment and freedom.

[loveweary11]

Wow,that's a lot of very positive, encouraging feedback.

 

I expected plenty of people would confirm my fear that I'm just going to get old/lonely out here not putting an effort in with the ladies.

 

The only part that is a negative is I've lost the will to work hard on the boat too.

 

Essentially, I think I'm just tired after going so hard for like 6 years...this includes the years pre divorce where I was non stop 70 hours a week on this boat.

 

I feel like taking the winter off and puttering around on finishing the interior out whenever the motivation comes naturally.

[Oregon_Dude]

OP, as someone who has spent his entire life since his early teenage years being in and out of relationships, getting dumped, attempting to recover from said breakups, only to get in yet another r/s and get dumped again... I can 100% relate to your sense of giving up the love game, at least for a good long while.

 

I was broken up with a few months ago, and have been dating ever since, only to disappointing results. This has been hard, because I know myself and my worth, yet the world consistently tells me I'm a piece of sh*t. There is some quality that women want that apparently I do not possess, having been friend-zoned in nearly every situation.

 

You are taking control of your life and eliminating the idea of external feedback determining your worth. And yes, in the case of women, they have the ability to crush us and make us question ourselves at our very core. The fact is, though, we primarily need them for sex, and if one can make do without fulfilling this need... he has it made in the shade.

 

Do exactly whatever you feel like. I can tell you that this thread is hugely inspiring to me.

[loveweary11]

OP, as someone who has spent his entire life since his early teenage years being in and out of relationships, getting dumped, attempting to recover from said breakups, only to get in yet another r/s and get dumped again... I can 100% relate to your sense of giving up the love game, at least for a good long while.

 

I was broken up with a few months ago, and have been dating ever since, only to disappointing results. This has been hard, because I know myself and my worth, yet the world consistently tells me I'm a piece of sh*t. There is some quality that women want that apparently I do not possess, having been friend-zoned in nearly every situation.

 

You are taking control of your life and eliminating the idea of external feedback determining your worth. And yes, in the case of women, they have the ability to crush us and make us question ourselves at our very core. The fact is, though, we primarily need them for sex, and if one can make do without fulfilling this need... he has it made in the shade.

 

Do exactly whatever you feel like. I can tell you that this thread is hugely inspiring to me.

 

That is SO positive and uplifting. Wow! If that's your general outlook on life, I'm pretty surprised you're still shopping around for chicks. They should be stuck to you like glue.

 

I'd always had the "certain something" to have girls want to go long term but.... the game changed while I was married.

 

Now, barely any girls 30 and under want anything to do with commitment. They want to hook up with tons of dudes and answer to no one.

 

I can't help but think that's part of what you're experiencing...

 

I've been finding sex is super easy to get, but meaningful relationships are now hard to comne by...

[Oregon_Dude]

That is SO positive and uplifting. Wow! If that's your general outlook on life, I'm pretty surprised you're still shopping around for chicks. They should be stuck to you like glue.

What does it say about me that I read this part sarcastically?

 

I don't know if I said anything that is positive here. My outlook is pretty bleak, tbh. I've been dumped at the drop of the hat, with no explanation, as recently as August, by someone I really loved.

 

At this point I think women are idiots who wouldn't know a good guy if he was right in front of her face. Being one has gotten me nowhere long-term.

[loveweary11]

What does it say about me that I read this part sarcastically?

 

I don't know if I said anything that is positive here. My outlook is pretty bleak, tbh. I've been dumped at the drop of the hat, with no explanation, as recently as August, by someone I really loved.

 

At this point I think women are idiots who wouldn't know a good guy if he was right in front of her face. Being one has gotten me nowhere long-term.

 

Well, ok... attitude on women, maybe not as uplifting... lol

 

But, the post was very encouraging/uplifting to me. I'm saying if you can inspire those same kinds of feelings in girls, you've got it made.

 

Maybe a secret weapon you didn't know you had...

[Oregon_Dude]

I'm saying if you can inspire those same kinds of feelings in girls, you've got it made.

 

Maybe a secret weapon you didn't know you had...

Can you elaborate on this? What feelings would I inspire in girls? My love of self and independence?

[loveweary11]

Can you elaborate on this? What feelings would I inspire in girls? My love of self and independence?

 

Reading your post, its enthusiasm, it's positivity toward my situation, made me feel a lot more certain and settled in my choices.

 

It was positive and uplifting.

 

Chicks dig that. lol

[mightycpa]

Well, I've had a huge emotional change in the past months since moving aboard the new boat.

 

I'm happy. I'm free. I can drift around to places and live/travel. I see nature now, beauty of the Earth. I'm spending a lot of time cooking, continuing to build out the interior.

 

At the same time, I'm sick of dating boring, go nowhere women.

 

So, I'm not even looking now, really.

 

I find myself not even returning texts or new messages from new or existing girls. Barely snapchatting anyone.

 

I'm bored with them all. Sick of playing the game. Sick of saying the same crap over and over to get them down the path to dates/etc

 

Since I live on a boat and my work is onboard too, I'm finding a very peaceful existence outside of dating... dating which involves more effort now without a car. (I've been Ubering everywhere) I also have to launch and run the small boat into shore from the bigger one to go do things... so I don't. I stay on the peaceful boat.

 

Now... this isn't going to help me meet someone because I don't have social interactions.

 

Should I be worried about this?

 

Because I'm starting not to give AF.

On the one hand, it is a little concerning, I think, to be so jaded by your dating process that you won't put in the effort even to get laid... on a boat. I don't mind telling you that I never reached that stage, and I was single for a long time. Are you a serial dater? If so, maybe that's the problem. The cure for that is to date a lot of women, and avoid exclusive relationships in exchange for variety. If that's not it, I don't know WTF is wrong with you, other than you probably need to upgrade the women you go out with.

 

On the other hand, not giving af is exactly where you want to be, so that love can find you. Of course, for that to happen, you have to cure the first part, and make dating desirable again. Also, you have to stop lying to yourself. You're looking for a steady relationship. You do care, and you're frustrated with your results. No wonder you can't find what you're looking for; it only comes to you when you truly don't care whether you find it or not. That happens to people time and time again.

 

The most successful paths to a loving, committed relationship are counter-intuitive. Stop looking for relationships, and allow yourself to drift through a lot of girls' lives. Be happy without the committed relationship, and be open to new ones. There's nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who doesn't need to be married, and there's nothing less attractive than a guy who is desperate to just have a girlfriend.

 

Deep down inside, which extreme is the closest to you?

[mrldii]

Personally, I think it's a good idea for people - men or women - who are so beat-up by *The Game* that they've grown bitter, defensive, and suspicious of others' motives to take a huge break from it.

 

On a personal and more selfish note, I love it when bitter, baggaged men take a big timeout, as it means the odds of me meeting one who simply wants to finish what he started with That Last B*tch go waaaaaay down, meaning my chances of meeting a *normal*, healthy, well-adjusted man go waaaaay up!

 

The only downside I'd see to bowing out, is the loss of the constant reinforcements of - and opportunities to replay - the self-fulfilling tape that keeps running through one's head. If one stays out of *The Game* too long, one might even forget what Evil Monsters members of the opposite sex are...leaving one to have to start the "rinse, repeat" cycle all over again.

 

 

Best of luck to you with your self-imposed time-out, OP...

[Woggle]

The irony is that when you stop caring like this your dating life seems to improve.

[loveweary11]

On the one hand, it is a little concerning, I think, to be so jaded by your dating process that you won't put in the effort even to get laid... on a boat. I don't mind telling you that I never reached that stage, and I was single for a long time. Are you a serial dater? If so, maybe that's the problem. The cure for that is to date a lot of women, and avoid exclusive relationships in exchange for variety. If that's not it, I don't know WTF is wrong with you, other than you probably need to upgrade the women you go out with.

 

Nah. I'm a numbers guy. A parallel dater, if we're using the serial/parallel words as antonyms. I can get laid any time. There are millions of girls looking to get laid. Takes like a drink and a few hours and you're hooking up.

 

I'm just tired of meeting no one special. No one who shares common interests and it's getting so boring going through them all.

 

On the other hand, not giving af is exactly where you want to be, so that love can find you. Of course, for that to happen, you have to cure the first part, and make dating desirable again. Also, you have to stop lying to yourself. You're looking for a steady relationship. You do care, and you're frustrated with your results. No wonder you can't find what you're looking for; it only comes to you when you truly don't care whether you find it or not. That happens to people time and time again.

 

True. A real relationship would be nice, but I don't care enough to leave the boat to even go look for one. I'm burnt out on meeting new girls. it's getting really boring.

 

 

The most successful paths to a loving, committed relationship are counter-intuitive. Stop looking for relationships, and allow yourself to drift through a lot of girls' lives.

 

I do this. Dozens and dozens of them. Then I leave town and start over doing the same thing somewhere else, discarding stuck in a rut girls who don't want to travel. They try to get me to stay, but I migrate. I'm getting sick of meeting them. They are all the same they are all boring me. Sounds douchey, but, that's how I'm feeling. Bored.

 

Be happy without the committed relationship, and be open to new ones. There's nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who doesn't need to be married, and there's nothing less attractive than a guy who is desperate to just have a girlfriend.

 

That's the topic of the thread. I'm very happy here. Feeling great! So good, I don't care to bother digging through a pile of no's to find a diamond. I'm just not into any girls. Bored to tears with all of them.

 

 

Deep down inside, which extreme is the closest to you?

 

I don't have trouble attracting women. I have well over a dozen constantly tezting, snapping, looking to hang out. That blonde is trying to move aboard the boat with me. I just don't care. I was like.... meh... and i told her all these reasons she wouldn't like it. Of course she argued why she would and that my reasons wouldn't stop her.

 

But.... i just have a very low interest level because im happy now. Without anyone around.

[loveweary11]

Personally, I think it's a good idea for people - men or women - who are so beat-up by *The Game* that they've grown bitter, defensive, and suspicious of others' motives to take a huge break from it.

 

On a personal and more selfish note, I love it when bitter, baggaged men take a big timeout, as it means the odds of me meeting one who simply wants to finish what he started with That Last B*tch go waaaaaay down, meaning my chances of meeting a *normal*, healthy, well-adjusted man go waaaaay up!

 

The only downside I'd see to bowing out, is the loss of the constant reinforcements of - and opportunities to replay - the self-fulfilling tape that keeps running through one's head. If one stays out of *The Game* too long, one might even forget what Evil Monsters members of the opposite sex are...leaving one to have to start the "rinse, repeat" cycle all over again.

 

 

Best of luck to you with your self-imposed time-out, OP...

 

Not beat up by the game. I left tons of girls behind in NY and have a bunch here that are trying to set things up. Girl i met for the first tuime the other night told my friend (i only hsve female friends) in the women's room that she though I was "the one."

 

I just have no interest in anyone because they're so boring. I need someone who's really out there., like me. The ones i met are all straight laced and dry. Super boring. Not grabbing life by the AHEM and living.

 

So I'm just bored of them all and becoming apathetic to meeting anymore snoozers.

[Heatherknows]

I don't have trouble attracting women. I have well over a dozen constantly tezting, snapping, looking to hang out. That blonde is trying to move aboard the boat with me. I just don't care. I was like.... meh... and i told her all these reasons she wouldn't like it. Of course she argued why she would and that my reasons wouldn't stop her.

 

But.... i just have a very low interest level because im happy now. Without anyone around.

 

Sounds like "dating burnout." When I got to that point I stopped putting effort into getting ready for dates and began dreading them or if I went on the date I'd make comments like "I'm really crazy my mom says nobody will put up with me." So I'd spend the date trying to make sure that the guy wouldn't want to see me again. LOL. If you dated massive amounts of people and none are doing it for you there is a deep feeling of fear that there isn't anyone out there that's right for you. Nobody you really want will want you and the ones that want you don't interest you. It's sad. But it passes and you'll begin to feel excited about dating again after a while. For now, do good deeds, it will warm your soul.

[sportygirl89]

Not beat up by the game. I left tons of girls behind in NY and have a bunch here that are trying to set things up. Girl i met for the first tuime the other night told my friend (i only hsve female friends) in the women's room that she though I was "the one."

 

I just have no interest in anyone because they're so boring. I need someone who's really out there., like me. The ones i met are all straight laced and dry. Super boring. Not grabbing life by the AHEM and living.

 

So I'm just bored of them all and becoming apathetic to meeting anymore snoozers.

 

That happened to me. Three years ago my dating became less and less. This past year come december 2015 where I have had 0 dates. I don't know of many girls who couldn't do it. I feel like its made me appreciative of good guys. I have so many good things in my life that I think my life I don't need to be dating. If someone asks me if I am happy being single I say yes about it. I just hate it around the holidays comment on why I'm still single.

[NewLeaf512]

Can you elaborate on this? What feelings would I inspire in girls? My love of self and independence?

 

Yes exactly that

[NewLeaf512]

Can you elaborate on this? What feelings would I inspire in girls? My love of self and independence?

 

Not beat up by the game. I left tons of girls behind in NY and have a bunch here that are trying to set things up. Girl i met for the first tuime the other night told my friend (i only hsve female friends) in the women's room that she though I was "the one."

 

I just have no interest in anyone because they're so boring. I need someone who's really out there., like me. The ones i met are all straight laced and dry. Super boring. Not grabbing life by the AHEM and living.

 

So I'm just bored of them all and becoming apathetic to meeting anymore snoozers.

 

Alternatively I would change this statement up.

 

How about...

 

"I know who I am and what I'm about. Fearless, unique, solid, and a mad adventurer. It's going to take an incredible woman to fascinate me. There's too much to experience in the world to waste time with women who don't captivate me with their quirky, interesting lives, so I'm holding out for amazing and focusing on my adventure in the meantime!"

 

 

Envy isn't my usual posture but even I'm green at your bliss!

 

NL