66Charger Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Nitsor, I would use this to my advantage and get a lot of makeup sex out of it. And I mean a whole lot. I am sure she will oblige. Just saying.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 (edited) Ya know, I can actually see both side of this coin. The wife's cheating happened before the marriage and, hopefully, hasn't happened since. In this case, I'd probably forgive her - but I'd make it damn clear how much she has hurt me with this action. I'd also tell her if I ever found out she had been inappropriate with another man since then I WILL walk. No excuses, no 3rd chance. As far as forgiveness being a good thing in general, like the Catholic lady brought up above, well, IMO no. Does forgiving the person who murdered your family make it all better? How about the cheat who drained your bank account? Or, for that matter, all the little everyday crimes you commit against others? No. It doesn't. Knowing the murderer feels bad about what they did, as he is being led to the electric chair only benefits his soul. Not mine. I still have to live in this shi*ty world surrounded by people who, in general, are only one chromosome away from Bonobos ...It may be important to God that you be remorseful, but that is because He is more forgiving than I ever will be... Edited December 31, 2015 by Poutrew How come when I add emoticons from the side they appear as URLs? Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 Folks, I did a minor cleanup and some moderation of members and will remind members that you are always subject to our guidelines of interaction so please post with that in mind. If your posting privileges are removed, we wanted it that way and there is no recourse. Better to not go down that road. For those who provided thoughtful and topical responses, thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
4blossoms Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) If she was truly remorseful and truly has a conscience why didn't she confess before marrying him? Just explain this to me in a way that makes sense. If she had true remorse how could she look him in the eye on their wedding day and not say a word? You don't feel it is a sick person that can marry someone knowing they did this and then not say a word for years? If not, why isn't that sick? Let me share you what I (female) had to get over. After 2 months into a relationship my ex-boyfriend, who I had met at work, cheated on me. How did I find out? Not because he told me but because I saw long strands of curly hair that were not mine in HIS BED. That is how I found out he cheated on me. And when I confronted him? He made up another lie that the hair belonged to his male cousin, who occasionally stays at the apartment when he is not there. I saw a photo of his cousin from a month earlier at a party and his cousin had short hair cropped above his ears. Your average person does not grow 10 inches of hair in one month. Now, here comes the icing on the cake. A week later my closest friend at the time went and slept with him! I had (foolishly) introduced them in the past and I found out after she sliped up on a bunch of lies. It was one of the most painful experiences of my entire life. I dumped the jerk and I cut off this "friend" for 5 years. I eventually did forgive her and I forgave him; but I will probably never trust anyone so easily again. Like they say...trust takes time to build and can be shattered in an instant. But forgiveness is necessary because whatever karmic debt you owe you have paid. Now others who have wronged and betrayed you must pay their own debt to the universe. That is how I can forgive them. I believe in karma. The people that you loved who betrayed you will have to pay their karmic debt one day. You don't need to worry about being the one to administer justice; the universe will settle all debts. Edited January 2, 2016 by 4blossoms Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 They weren't married at the time. Things just happen when you're in the dating phase occasionally. It's not the end of the world. But see why do people keep acting like this? This is what I never understand. You are acting like this is par for the course. Like it's a thing that happens with all couples before they get married. But that really isn't the case though. Also again to me the worst thing is the lie. The fact she could look him in the eye on their wedding day knowing what she did and still smile and go through with it. She only admitted to it many years later. To me being remorseful many years later is too little too late. The disturbing part is she could marry him and not tell him for so long. That she could make a fool of him. Yep, I have zero tolerance for cheating. People can toss out all the cliches they want about how people make mistakes and all that stuff we love to repeat here. But the reality is no, we are humans who make mistakes, but we also have self control. We can control who we do or do not sleep with. We all make mistakes, but there are just some lines you don't cross. If the OP wants to be with a woman who could cheat on him, lie to him for years, marry him whilst knowing she wasn't faithful to him, and more or less look him in the eye everyday and not say a word for years..then hey more power to him. Good luck with that kind of person as your mate in life. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Old thread, starter not seen in over a week. If they want to revisit, they can alert us. Closed for now. Link to post Share on other sites
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