heartbroken56 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Hello, I currently slept with a friend this past weekend. There had been a lot of sexual tension for the past few months. We met this summer during an internship and have been in touch ever since. Talking almost everyday and have actually visited each other a few times since the internship ended. It sometimes feel like we are in a long-distance relationship without the title. After he left, he already suggested seeing each other next month. I can tell that if we were in the same city, we would try to date each other monogamously, but we have both received job offers that are in completely different cities for next year. One dilemma that I realize is that once we start to meet other people, how will the other person feel? I have currently been going on dates and still been living "the single life." There is a guy in my life that is showing interest but I don't know how I feel about sleeping with two guys at once since I have never done this before. Is it stupid to continue this FWB/LDR type relationship that is starting to begin? I'm scared of losing our wonderful friendship. After we were intimate, it felt as though nothing had changed and we were both so comfortable with one another. But everybody always says that Friends With Benefits ends badly and we are just too good of friends that I would never want to lose that aspect. Thoughts/Concerns? I was wondering if I should talk to him about it in person when he was in town, but we were just enjoying the weekend. How should I approach speaking to him about this? Or just we just keep it casual and not overthink what this is? Thanks, -Seriously Confused Link to post Share on other sites
emmajane77 Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 In my opinion, I don't think friends with benefits really works out, as one person ends up liking one more than the other and then things can get complicated. If I were in your situation, I think I would probably make a choice. It depends how strongly you feel about this guy. If you are head over heals for him, long distance relationships can work, if both people are prepared to put the effort in, but if you feel that due to both of your work plans that this isn't really sustainable maybe you could try to explain to your friend that due to the distance you don't think it is practical and hope that he still wants to be friends. You should tell him that if you both lived in the same place then yes you think it would be something that you could continue. Some people say it may be hard to go back to friends after being intimate but maybe in time it is possible. I think I would have a talk to him about the situation. Find out if he is still dating other people and how committed he is. I don't think you should think about going with another guy if you are still sleeping with him. I think it may get a bit complicated then. I think it is better to find out where you are both at with the situation so no-one gets hurt and you don't end up losing a friend. Hope that helps. That is just what I would do! :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author heartbroken56 Posted November 27, 2015 Author Share Posted November 27, 2015 We ended up having a conversation about it. He admitted that he likes things just the way they are. And even though our circumstances make me understand that we can pursue anything more, I was a bit peeved out to be viewed as 'just casual' Maybe it's just a pride thing. So I think I'll just start distancing myself bit my bit so that we don't lost the friendship aspect. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
emmajane77 Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Glad you talked. I'm sorry about that. No I would feel completely the same way. Yes I think you should definitely try to distance yourself from him and then you will be free then to date other people. You might meet someone nice. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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