confusing sex and passion

[Cain Markman]

Okay, everybody, I have a really big problem. There is a girl that I care about and I know that she feels the same way about me. But, there is a problem. You see, in the past she has been with guys who have used her and have only been with her long enough to get her into bed. Then, they left. Now, she is with me and I am nothing like those guys. But, she is telling me now that she wants me to be more aggressive. When I tell her that I don't want to yet, she thinks it is because I really don't want her or that I don't think she is attractive. But, that is not it at all. I want the two of us to be closer and more emotionally intimate first. I think that because of her past, she is confusing sex and love. I think for her, they are the same things. Of course, that is not true. But, how can I convince her that I really care about her and want her without actually going all the way with her? I want her to know that I love her before I sleep with her. I don't want her to think that in order for a guy to prove that he cares, he has to sleep with her. But, this girl is confusing sex with love and passion. How can I show her that she can have love and passion without sex? If I just come out and ask her if she knows the difference between love and sex, it will sound like I am calling her a slut. I don't know what to do! Somebody help! Any advice will be appreciated!! Post a response or e-mail me at: <e-mail address removed>

 

Cain

[Lissa]

Have you tried giving her a flower or a card or a balloon out of the ordinary. Just something you dont do on a regular basis.

Okay, everybody, I have a really big problem. There is a girl that I care about and I know that she feels the same way about me. But, there is a problem. You see, in the past she has been with guys who have used her and have only been with her long enough to get her into bed. Then, they left. Now, she is with me and I am nothing like those guys. But, she is telling me now that she wants me to be more aggressive. When I tell her that I don't want to yet, she thinks it is because I really don't want her or that I don't think she is attractive. But, that is not it at all. I want the two of us to be closer and more emotionally intimate first. I think that because of her past, she is confusing sex and love. I think for her, they are the same things. Of course, that is not true. But, how can I convince her that I really care about her and want her without actually going all the way with her? I want her to know that I love her before I sleep with her. I don't want her to think that in order for a guy to prove that he cares, he has to sleep with her. But, this girl is confusing sex with love and passion. How can I show her that she can have love and passion without sex? If I just come out and ask her if she knows the difference between love and sex, it will sound like I am calling her a slut. I don't know what to do! Somebody help! Any advice will be appreciated!! Post a response or e-mail me at: <e-mail address removed> Cain

[Shira]

I have the exact same problem as your girlfriend. I can't differentiate passionate sex from love. How come men can do this so much better than woman? I've never been able to just have sex with a man then forget about them. How can a man be so detached like this? Does it have to be this way with men?

 

Sorry I didn't answer your question, but I have never been involved with men like you before.

 

Shira

Okay, everybody, I have a really big problem. There is a girl that I care about and I know that she feels the same way about me. But, there is a problem. You see, in the past she has been with guys who have used her and have only been with her long enough to get her into bed. Then, they left. Now, she is with me and I am nothing like those guys. But, she is telling me now that she wants me to be more aggressive. When I tell her that I don't want to yet, she thinks it is because I really don't want her or that I don't think she is attractive. But, that is not it at all. I want the two of us to be closer and more emotionally intimate first. I think that because of her past, she is confusing sex and love. I think for her, they are the same things. Of course, that is not true. But, how can I convince her that I really care about her and want her without actually going all the way with her? I want her to know that I love her before I sleep with her. I don't want her to think that in order for a guy to prove that he cares, he has to sleep with her. But, this girl is confusing sex with love and passion. How can I show her that she can have love and passion without sex? If I just come out and ask her if she knows the difference between love and sex, it will sound like I am calling her a slut. I don't know what to do! Somebody help! Any advice will be appreciated!! Post a response or e-mail me at: <e-mail address removed> Cain