Falling in love with female friend.., So conflicted

[theDüde1575490762]

I've been reading these forums for a bit and found some great and helpful stuff so I thought I'd give it a chance since you people seem to be able to give some pretty good advice..

 

So I'm stuck in a real nasty situation and have no clue what to do. I am so conflicted. And I have no idea how to talk about it with friends since they're all guys and.., well, you know how they can be. It's a pretty long story but I hope you guys have the patience to read through it and help me out.

 

So 2 months ago I broke up with my (ex)girlfriend. We had a relationship for 5 years and lived together for the last two years of the relationship. Near the end of the relationship (note that this has nothing to do with me leaving her, that is another deal entirely) I met a girl that does the same study programme as I do and turned out to be my neighbor as well. Pure coincidence.

 

We got along really well and became very good friends in a matter of weeks. When I eventually broke up with my girlfriend she helped me out a lot and turned out to be one of the better friends I have. When we're drunk we even like to go as far as to call eachother brother and sister. We share so many interests and personality traits. But we also agreed to refrain from anything sexual; sex tends to make things over complicated and it always seems to ruin things in the long run.

 

That was about 3 months ago. Since then, our relationship has grown greatly and we both agree that it feels like we've known eachother forever. We hang out every single day (partly because we're in the same study group) and we even cuddle up and sleep in the same bed at least a couple of days in the week, because that simply beats sleeping alone.

 

Especially after coming out of a relationship it feels great to still have someone around; if I would have gone from living together to being alone I would have had a way harder time adjusting. And I haven't been able to hook up with any other girl yet because it's been such a long time that I had to pick up girls that I kind of have to get back into it.

 

But I'm afraid of what Ive been feeling for the last week or two. She is a pretty sexual woman; she has sex with at least one different guy every two weeks and is very open about all of it. At the start i was completely fine with it and even set her up with a male friend of mine. But when she told me last Monday about who she took home with her this time I couldn't help but feel envious.

 

And that's when it hit me. I am falling for her. And I can't stand it, nor help it. I have such a great thing going on but my stupid brain has to mess it up. And I have no idea what to do. I have never had to deal with anything like this because all of my friends have always been male. I am so afraid of losing her as a friend that telling her how I feel doesn't seem like an option. But on the other hand.., her half naked body lying next to me is becoming impossible to resist. Her stories about other guys are killing me.

 

How do I deal with this? Do I ignore it and hope that it goes away, or maybe have sex with another girl? Do I tell her the truth and risk everything? Or should I distance myself from her and simply refrain from forming friendships with women in the future?

 

If anything was unclear please ask - English is not my native language and I'm still pretty confused about the entire situation myself, so it might be that I missed some parts.

 

I hope that someone on here can help me out!

[red.velvet]

So soon after a long term relationship, no don't go for it with her. Sounds like it might be a rebound or some way to help you get over your ex and once you do, you will be done with her.

 

Just my thoughts.

 

Maybe take some time to be single and heal on your own first.

[salparadise]

How do I deal with this? Do I ignore it and hope that it goes away, or maybe have sex with another girl? Do I tell her the truth and risk everything? Or should I distance myself from her and simply refrain from forming friendships with women in the future?

 

 

I don't think you need to do a big confession... just do what comes naturally the next time she's half naked in your bed. You can talk afterward. If she's banging random guys just to get sex occasionally then there's a pretty good chance she'll be receptive. Who knows how it will work out, but if you're feeling it then go for it- that's certainly one way of expressing the truth.

 

This is exactly why most people understand that men and women can't be friends, or at least not without some pretty strict boundaries. In this case I'd just go for it... I bet she's wondering why it's taking you so long.

[theDüde1575490762]

I don't think you need to do a big confession... just do what comes naturally the next time she's half naked in your bed. You can talk afterward. If she's banging random guys just to get sex occasionally then there's a pretty good chance she'll be receptive. Who knows how it will work out, but if you're feeling it then go for it- that's certainly one way of expressing the truth.

 

This is exactly why most people understand that men and women can't be friends, or at least not without some pretty strict boundaries. In this case I'd just go for it... I bet she's wondering why it's taking you so long.

 

You're right. I'll confront her the next time she's staying over. I'll keep you updated.

[preraph]

You need to be honest with her and tell her now that you've had a chance to heal from your breakup, you are starting to have other than brotherly feelings for her. If she's amenable to cuddling and all that, I bet she doesn't just like you as a friend. I never wanted to cuddle with a guy I wasn't attracted to and only thought of as a friend.