rrrr Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 (edited) My boyfriend has lots of female friends and I get on with them and i like that he is the sort of person who can have real friendships with women there justs this one girl. When she has a boyfriend she doesnt speak to him and her boyfriend didnt like him which was odd and she told him this. but when they split my boyfriends the first person she goes too. When she goes away hes the first person she sees when she gets back. But then she gets a boyfriend and stops then they split up she comes back again. Hes a typical guy and is not one whos going to give relationship advice so i dont no why hes the one she tells.. she asks about me but whenever im there makes no effort to talk to me. Now im starting to feel annoyed and my boyfriends getting annoyed at me for feeling like this what do i do i dont want to make it awkward. Also I think it stems from the fact when we first got together he was meant to go on a date with me then ditched me to go hang out with her and text me saying didnt think it was going to work with us. But then came back to me a few weeks later. this was 2 years ago now Edited November 28, 2015 by rrrr Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Sounds like your BF and this girl had a thing at some point before you started dating. Do you know if they hooked up or ever had sex? My guess is that they hooked up at some point and there still is an attraction between them on some level. Your BF doesn't sound like he's cheating on you but he won't stop talking with this girl even though you told him she makes you uncomfortable. She probably uses him as an ego boost and flirting toy when she's single. She can text or hang out with him and feel like someone is attracted to her and it makes her fee good. Then once she starts dating someone she doesn't need that anymore so she disappears. You can explain this to your BF and also express that you've never stopped him from hanging out with or having female friends because you trust him and you've made the effort to get to know those girls and have even started to become friends with them yourself. So he should see that you're not just a jealous over thinking, insecure girl because if you were, the other girls he hangs out with that are his friends, would've upset you and been an issue... They weren't. Explain that this girl and him have a history. Tell him about how he turned you down when you first met and she was involved in that reason so there's a bit more insecurity and suspicion with her specifically due to this. If he says she's his friend then ask why she's only his friend when she's single? You can call him out for being naive and then demand more respect. You don't want to have to deal with an ex, or an old crush, flirting with him or making you feel embarrassed by him letting it go on and proceed. He doesn't have to tell her that he doesn't wanna be friends with her anymore... He just shouldn't reply to her texts and efforts to hang out. She'll get the hint. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rrrr Posted November 28, 2015 Author Share Posted November 28, 2015 Hey Thanks for your reply. I dont think they have ever hooked up, but youve hit the nail on the head with the ego boost thing thats exactly what I was thinking. Its annoying I said to him how come shes only your friend when shes single and his response was that some people just stop making efforts with their friends when they get in relationships and said one of my female friends names who has done that as an example. He then told me to stop being jealous. Its so frustrating he just doesnt seem to see it ! Thing is she is friends with all his friends as far as im aware and im concerned if I keep pushing the point I will become isolated Link to post Share on other sites
Glitters Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Him becoming defensive and rejecting your discomfort , is the only answer you need to decide. She is here to stay and if not her , someone else wil take her place later and you will be told by him , the same story. It will always be you who is either jealous or exaggerating or low self esteem or suspicious etc etc etc. Him and his friend will always be having an innocent friendship which you can't handle. It's time for you to decide Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 He has always wanted her, and she knows this. Knowing she is that special to him, is an ego boost for her, she likes it and takes advantage of it. When she gets a BF, she doesn't need that ego boost from him anymore. He has to face the fact he is just being used. I bet he has asked her out and was rejected, but it never stopped his hope to be with her. Your BF is a damn fool. So when did you find out he ditched you to hang out with her? Link to post Share on other sites
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