How The Heck Do You Get Over Someone?!?! Im Desperate!

[SmilingMartin]

Please someone help me, im freakin desperate lol i need to get over this girl

its been 7 months and im still not over her...shes been 3 new relationships and i think shes about to get into another one. While Im still here sitting down thinking of ways to get over her, shes moved on with her life....she and i are still friends but we dont talk as much.

 

Ive tried everything..ive tried to keep myself busy, i have lifted gotten bigger, i have ran a lot and now im healthy, i did the No Contact rule..didnt work either..and i dont just wanna get with a girl for the purpose of getting over one. Thats just not me, and i dont wanna have one night stands either...goes against my morals.

 

What am i to do?! seriously please help

[Mr Spock]

Time heals all wounds. Eventually you'll get over it, try not to obsess since there is nothing you can do. You're mooning, which isn't helping you at all. In this case, accentuate the negative. Think about all the crap you didn't like.

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by SmilingMartin

Please someone help me, im freakin desperate lol i need to get over this girl

 

Gonna show you why you haven't....

 

its been 7 months and im still not over her...shes been 3 new relationships and i think shes about to get into another one.

 

She's far, far over you. And in 7 months, 3 relationships? Uhhh, that's a big red flag right there. Think about that one for a sec.

 

While Im still here sitting down thinking of ways to get over her, shes moved on with her life....she and i are still friends but we dont talk as much.

 

You can't be friends with someone you still want a relationship. YOU need to institute NO CONTACT and stick to it. The reason you are not over her is because you are still clinging to the hope of keeping things going with her. The three relationships since yours tells you that she has no trouble moving on nor does she intend to reconcile.

 

Ive tried everything..ive tried to keep myself busy, i have lifted gotten bigger, i have ran a lot and now im healthy,

 

That's a start. In the meantime, have you talked to or gone out with any other girls?

 

i did the No Contact rule..didnt work either..

 

What does this mean? You don't have the intestinal fortitude to implement it? Neither did I. But, as time goes on I think less and less of her.

 

Here's an exercise to help. Get a blank piece of paper. Write down all her PROS and CONS and be HONEST about it. You might find she has a ton of cons (like my ex) and that will change your perception of her.

 

and i dont just wanna get with a girl for the purpose of getting over one. Thats just not me, and i dont wanna have one night stands either...goes against my morals.

 

You don't have date just to get over her. Go out with women to have fun and relax. No sexual connotations. Just someone to hang out with for the evening.

 

What am i to do?! seriously please help

 

Implement NC.

Stick to it, no matter what.

Go hang out with other girls.

Hang out with your friends.

Get some hobbies.

 

If none of that works, seek counseling.

 

I did. It definitely has been helping. So much so the last session I asked if we could talk more about ME instead of her.

[HotCaliGirl]

Originally posted by ConfusedInOC

If none of that works, seek counseling.

I did. It definitely has been helping. So much so the last session I asked if we could talk more about ME instead of her.

What in particular were you told in counseling to help you get over her and not want to talk about her??

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by HotCaliGirl

What in particular were you told in counseling to help you get over her and not want to talk about her??

 

That she was the source of my pain, not my happiness....

[whichwayisup]

You have to decide in your HEAD first that it is time to let go. The heart will follow soon after. I'm sure it's very difficult to get to that point but she's moved on and isn't looking back.

 

Read this thread by No Foolin'. It has helped alot of people here on LS.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/

[bobbyg]

I feel ya bro. Wife left after 13 years and married another woman this last January. (live in MA), Im still in love with her, but the only contact is concerning our children. It is tough, ive been to hell and still climbing back.

 

I would follow everyones advice, as that is what Im doing. I did the one night-stands, many times, made things worse. Realize that you came into the world alone, and will be leaving it alone. So, we are all on our own.

 

Like all relationships, when the Karma is gone, one my want to move on, or stay for security. Follow the others advice, write about it, you will come out better for it.