An update on me, if you want to read

[Lois_Griffin]

Someone from this douche canoe's office needs to send an anonymous letter to his wife. Sounds as though this pig spends more time plotting and planning to get with women than he actually does being PRODUCTIVE.

 

He's SUCH a freakin' slimy weasel.

[m4p]

Gosh..... He treated you with zero respect and dignity. You are precious and deserve so much more than this! Games are for kids and immanture "men" who thinks that they are all that. You cannot be blamed for being attracted at the beginning.... But now that he has shown his true colours? Stay far far away. He totally don't deserve you.

 

What a creep!!!!

 

Stay strong and remember all the nasty and bullying tactics he tried to use, and never let yourself gravitate towards him.

 

You can do it! (And maybe consider reporting him because your career is not worth letting him screw up too)

[Broom]

Thank you for all your support.

 

He is still playing games with me at work to keep me off -balance. I have to deal with this until I can find other work. I am giving myself until the end of the year to transfer.

 

What's worse is that he watches my every move secretly and he's literally spying and stalking me at work.

 

A nice gentleman came to my desk to ask a question and I could see him react angrily as if I belonged to him.

[Broom]

Also, I would like to enter IC or therapy so if anyone knows a website to find one please link me.

 

And I can accept PMs for anyone that wants to talk. I need more support at work. I cannot tell any of my coworkers about this so I feel alone and drowning.

[Broom]

I have not posted on here in several months. For those who followed my journey from the beginning, thank you so much.

 

I went soft NC in my last update. It was the best I could manage with us working in such proximity. Yes, the baiting and taunting continued. His ego was bruised. He continued to find ways to get close to me, try to tug at my heartstrings, and he even flat-out said that I wasn't acknowledging him.

 

It was cutting him inside that I would decide to stonewall him without any warning or conversation. I kept it up for 5 months and some things happened.

 

I cannot explain it, but I did reach out to him. I did. And I felt absolutely terrible after. He took it as his chance to turn the tables, to inflict punishment on me for ignoring him for months and months.

 

He felt high and mighty, glad that I was back on his string.

 

Little did he know, I had secured a job far away from him. I was wanting to say goodbye to him. I don't know why, probably the things I felt for him. I wanted to at least say something to him.

 

In the weeks to follow, news of my new employment spread throughout the office. He turned on his bluff and bravado.

 

He came in daily acting like he did not care at all, like I meant nothing to him, like it wasn't going to matter one bit that I was leaving. He even said this out loud in a joking, roundabout way at one point. It was...fine, though a part of me was hurt that he could act this way. The other part was glad. It made it easier for me.

 

One weekend, I was in the mall. I was standing in line and looking down at my phone.

 

Guess who walks by and WITH kids in tow. It's him. He had spotted me and used the restroom + kids as an excuse to come my direction. He walked by, spoke to me, briefly disappeared down the hall to the RR, and walked back by.

 

I felt weird. It was the first time I had ever seen him with his kids, a family man. I had seen picture and he had mentioned them, but never seen him that way. It shook me up.

 

Back at work, my last day grew closer and closer. He dropped the bluff gradually because I wasn't going to crack. Truth is, I was furious at how he treated my reaching out to him. I knew better this time, like I should have known last time.

 

He was trying hard to bait me and, of course, creating reasons for us to work in proximity. I ignored as much as I could, but my co-workers were planning an event for my going away.

 

Ugh. He was going to be there, of course. He used this as his opportunity to speak to me. I couldn't ignore him or be awkward. He implored that we "would have to still talk" and said a few general nothings.

 

I was leaving that day. Everything was packed up. He was on the other side of the office but saw me preparing to leave. He made an excuse to quickly get out of his duties and tried to intercept me at the door, asking me if I was leaving. I responded with a simple, "yes".

 

He waited outside of our office for me to exit. I was feeling anxiety. I went back to my desk and pretended to be busy.

 

He came back in after 10 minutes and loudly said, "Are you sure? I don't want you to miss out."

 

The next week begins. My new job. Suddenly, he updates his job profile with a photo of himself. He had never had a photo of himself there before. It was no coincidence. It was to bait me and evoke feelings out of me.

 

The next week, I'm at my new boss' desk. I see that he is reaching out to him incidentally. I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. This is supposed to be my fresh start.

 

He is in contact with my new boss, pretending to be friends with him. And now all of a sudden they have plans to hang out after work. I know he is angling to use him as an "in" to keep tabs on me.

 

I keep details to myself and don't reveal anything about my weekends or time outside of work.

 

3 months on this job now. I have gotten random phone calls and texts from numbers. I try to call them back and I get a "we're sorry this phone number is not accepting calls at this time"

 

I am going to my grave believing it's him. I was not getting these kinds of calls before.

 

Why won't he leave me alone? I am away from him, completely NC, haven't seen him, don't have access to him, haven't sent smoke signals, haven't done anything.

[lemondrop21]

I'm sorry you're going through this, it's true harassment. He sounds like he was so addicted to you (or to the affair) that he's now gone off the deep end a bit due to the withdrawal. If you're really angry you could write him one email saying you'll inform his wife if you get one more email, call or other means of contact (if you never had a D-Day, sorry I haven't read your whole backstory).

[OWAmy]

How awful. I feel really sorry for you that he is lording some sort of power over you at your new place. The last thing you want when moving on. This should have been a nice fresh start and instead he's haunting you. Bullying at its worst.

 

Do you have any friends that you have confided in? Seriously I would recommend picking your best male friend if you have one and asking him to make a call to this idiot. Nothing verging on blackmail or threats but simply telling him in no uncertain terms to stay away from you, cease this contact with your new boss etc...

[Adoraxx]

That's awful, Broom!! You truly did the right thing by leaving for another job and now he is still trying to keep tabs on you . I don't really know what to say but sending you big hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ((((((((((((( HUGS )))))))))))))))

[privategal]

Id be nervous what he will say to your new boss...thats too far and crossing the line. Id change your phone number though.

[Popsicle]

First and foremost, congratulations for getting away from him. That is a huge positive step and you should be proud of yourself for it. Second, he is probably trying to keep tabs on you, but who cares? There is nothing HE can do no matter what you do. Eventually he'll get bored and quit it once he realizes you don't give a damn about him anymore.