Poppy47 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Not sure if this will help, but, perhaps it will. I have practiced law for a very long time. Your boss may have some talent and technical skill. But, his lack of judgement and ethics is remarkable. He knows that he has put himself in a terrible position having relations with a work subordinate, even setting aside the morality of cheating. His lack of integrity and judgement are terrible qualities in a lawyer. You admire him, but he is not an honorable man. Many of us, especially the successful, good looking ones, :cool:like me,have had myriad opportunities to have sex with younger female associates. Hypergamy must play a role, I expect. I know of several lawyers who have gone this route, and, behind their backs, their cooleagues think they are ego driven buffoons. Make sure this guy knows that you need a good reference. If he has hslf a brain, he will realize the danger to himself if he makes things tough on you. You will not even have to explain it to him, unlesshe is a complete dumb ass. Krashi is correct. I think your boss is starting to feel a bit panicky. Tell him you want another job and you need a good reference. I'm sure he will understand it is in his best interest to help you. Poppy. Link to post Share on other sites
wanderingxsoulz Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I know I will likely fall into depression, going to miss him like crazy and will probably not date for months or even years until I get over him. I blame myself for everything. What was I thinking..... I ask myself that everyday. Scary thing is if I don't know if I will get over him. He was my first everything. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 (edited) As to quitting the addiction, it's a personal choice. Doing a bit of research about how this type of A ends will help your decision. The endings can be very ugly, and devastating emotionally, professionally, financially, personally...... Do you love yourself enough to choose a different ending? I hope so. I recommend you hire an employment lawyer and have him/her negotiate a confidential settlement under which you leave the employment, with a guaranteed great reference and enough cash in hand to facilitate moving and getting a new position. It can be framed as, "Ms. Mech would like to move on quietly with respect for all affected and I'm sure you want the same." I suspect MM will be much more open to this than you might think. And once you do move on, take a solemn vow to never ever ever get involved at work again. Good luck! Edited December 1, 2015 by SoleMate 1 Link to post Share on other sites
daisy69 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Wow everyones feelings about their MM is the same as mine, yet I thought we were the exception. hmmmm Link to post Share on other sites
couchcushion Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 You'll end it when the pain, hurt, and anxiety outweigh the benefits. Your relationship will start to become toxic. You will have the same conversations over and over again with no results. You will leave, he will chase. You'll do this over and over again. His wife will probably find out and he will leave you to do damage control, then he will come crawling back. Good luck getting yourself out of it. Having an affair was the worst decision I ever made in my life. If you can end it now and not look back you will be the strongest person I know. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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