find it hard to get close to people

[uongy]

basically,im a shy person that is trying hard to come out of my shell.its working but im not there yet.im good at saying hi to people but im little good at becoming gd friends with people.

 

a prefect example of my situation is at the pub.i have mustered the courage to go down the pub by myself.i know a few people who go to me school.i have a good time,a great laugh but i feel i dont get to know people very well.im often catch myself being quiet.

now,i say to everyone,shake hands etc.how r u and all of tht.i just dont seem to be able to make progress beyond that point.

 

now,im a shy guy but the thing that annoys me is tht i work as a teaching assistant and i have to talk to people alot.so i dunno y im not gd at this aspect of me life.

 

any insights welcome.thanks.

 

mikey.

[Marshbear]

You need to say more than hi. You could ask one of them to see a movie or some other social activity and this should break the ice. Be outgoing and funny and people will want to be around you. Shyness is a crippling social problem especially for the one that is shy. There are books to read that will help you climb out of the shyness pit.

 

Peace...

[Pyro]

Hi uongy.

 

Do you think that maybe the problem is that you may lack some social skills? I have been through it myself. Throughout highschool, I stayed in my own shell. Years later after highschool I find myself to be quite the social butterfly.

 

If you think that you need to boost up on your social skills, I have a book to recommend. This book is what cured me of my shyness and I can almost guarantee that it will do the same for you.

[whichwayisup]

Best way is to practice having a conversation infront of the mirror. Making eye contact with yourself IN the mirror. I know it sounds silly, but it works. You gain confidence in what you'd like say (whether it be talking about your hobbies or asking others about their jobs/interests/funny stories etc...) and can see HOW you look in the mirror - With the confidence.