New Friend That Can Be So Much More

[bodidlee]

So I just started talking to this girl... we actually met on Instagram and found out that we go to the same college. So we met up for an hour coffee date that ended up lasting 4 hours. After that, I gave her my phone number and we started texting every day. That lasted for about a week until I asked her to dinner with me. Bold move but she said yes! So I took her out to dinner and it was very casual and fun. That also lasted about 4 1/2 hours. We have everything in common from our artsy personalities to the kind of Pop-Tarts we like. She likes to be the one talking in person so I just listen and chime in every now and then. But she also tends to look away most of the time when she's talking or playing with her hair. But when I'm talking to her, her eyes are focused on mine. Also when we text, I'm usually the one who strikes up the conversation but sometimes she initiates. She also makes little subtle hints like the other day saying how she misses someone to cuddle with at night and told me to start watching Greys Anatomy so I can come over and watch it with her. But then she'll say that we're #1 besties because we have so much in common with each other. We both just got out of a long term relationship and she's said that she just wants to work on her but then she throws out little hints that makes me think that she's into me. At the end of the dinner date, we hugged but we haven't kissed or held hands yet. Another thing that kind of bothers me a little (even though she doesn't care) is that I'm 25 and she's 19. Because we only met a couple weeks ago I don't want to put myself out there and be made a fool of or ruin whatever it is we have going now.

[privategal]

So I just started talking to this girl... we actually met on Instagram and found out that we go to the same college. So we met up for an hour coffee date that ended up lasting 4 hours. After that, I gave her my phone number and we started texting every day. That lasted for about a week until I asked her to dinner with me. Bold move but she said yes! So I took her out to dinner and it was very casual and fun. That also lasted about 4 1/2 hours. We have everything in common from our artsy personalities to the kind of Pop-Tarts we like. She likes to be the one talking in person so I just listen and chime in every now and then. But she also tends to look away most of the time when she's talking or playing with her hair. But when I'm talking to her, her eyes are focused on mine. Also when we text, I'm usually the one who strikes up the conversation but sometimes she initiates. She also makes little subtle hints like the other day saying how she misses someone to cuddle with at night and told me to start watching Greys Anatomy so I can come over and watch it with her. But then she'll say that we're #1 besties because we have so much in common with each other. We both just got out of a long term relationship and she's said that she just wants to work on her but then she throws out little hints that makes me think that she's into me. At the end of the dinner date, we hugged but we haven't kissed or held hands yet. Another thing that kind of bothers me a little (even though she doesn't care) is that I'm 25 and she's 19. Because we only met a couple weeks ago I don't want to put myself out there and be made a fool of or ruin whatever it is we have going now.

 

I would slow down.

Its moving so fast and your getting really invested.

Id not initiate the texts so much...let her.

Wait for an invitation to come over, dont assume.

When that happens dont force kissing or hand holding. Let it develop naturally.

Dont fall hard and fast.

If shes saying besties she might be friend zoning you.

After you step back a little and stop asking for dates, texting her, being available so much...determine by her actions if shes genuine and seems to have more romantic intentions than pals.

Some girls just like free dinner, attention and a casual thing.

Rebounds are bad news.

Step way back and let it be WAY more slow and spend time with other friends.

As the weeks pass, you can have a healthy mature conversation about friends or more and be direct and honest.

For now, she might just need to fill a lonely void left by her breakup and the attention and company is nice to boost her self esteem again but it may just stop there. Be careful.

Things in common do NOT mean shes the one, maybe you friendzone her and dont just jump into another relationship so quick.

[preraph]

Well, this is easy. She's being straight up with you. She tells you what she wants (you to come over, cuddle and watch Grey's Anatomy - definitely do that!) She wants to work on herself. She didn't specify if she meant alone -- but if so, what's she dating you for, right? And wanting you to come over and cuddle. Now, go cuddle on the couch, watch Grey's Anatomy (Thursdays unless she records) and at the end of the night, leave like a gentleman after giving her a kiss on the lips. If you haven't gotten any resistance cuddling, you should get no resistance kissing. If you do get resistance cuddling, give her a hard time in a good humored way and say "Weren't you the one who specifically told me you missed cuddling and to come over and watch Grey's Anatomy?" I guess if that happens, that's the end of it, but you still have your dignity because she definitely mentioned missing cuddling with someone she barely knows. She may well want to go slow, but just keep kissing her on subsequent dates and see if she can't work on herself while you also work on her. Also, don't JUST go watch tv or she might get the wrong idea. Do ask her out on more outside dates as well.

[Erik30]

You're basically one of her girl friends. The "#1 besties" thing that she said is not a good sign if you want to date her.

You should probably make a move soon because you're heading towards the friendzone. (If you're not already there)

If you always act like her friend, that's what you will be.

Edited December 2, 2015 by Erik30