msoptimistic Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Well, having been a wife and OW for 3 long years I realized a few weeks ago that I had to move on and it was going to be one of the hardest things I would ever do. Been trying to refocus my energies to my marriage and have had ups and downs. Quit seeing MM then quit texting or replying to texts and am down to a few phone conversations. This is what has somewhat worked for me although I would not call myself successful by a long shot! But today has been so strange and that is what has prompted this post. (Had typed a long entry but it disappeared so this is an abbreviated version!) I have had a horrible feeling all day,..sad and couldn't stop crying...a general miserable feeling that something was wrong and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get MM out of my head. Tried to call but no answer. A little unusual but shook it off. Tried to call back but no answer. Gave in and sent text but no answer. Decided that maybe wife discovered and he was avoiding me but I wasn't blocked because it would go to his voice mail. Tried one more time and he answered. Knew something was wrong just from his voice. He had been in a wreck...not major but not minor injuries. Spent the day in the ER and the whole time I knew something was wrong. And for as hard as I've tried to back away, the only thing I could think was please don't let this emotional day bring them closer together....talk about 10 steps backward. This is impossible on the best of days and under normal circumstances but with emotions like this it is crazy! Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Krashi Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Yes. Cut all contact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Outofmysystem Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Talk to yourself, try and think about other things....I know it's hard...and lonely....and all kind of thoughts go through your head.....it does for me every day and night, MW haunts my dreams and thoughts all day......but each day is one more in the books and a little closer to clarity....been 3 months for me and like the song says....."been a million years since I've touched you, I thought that time might help me win this game, but being away from you is slowly driving me insane".... Hang in there, that's what this place is for. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I'm not saying this to be mean, saying it so you can accept things as they are now. Your A is more or less over, you (both) have been clinging to a once in a while phone call, you don't see him anymore. His accident IS a reality check! He didn't reach out to you and let you know about it. It may have woken him up to realize that he does need his wife and sorry to say this, chances are high that this experience has brought them closer as she will be looking after him. Even if he did call, there wouldn't be anything you could do except worry more. Take this opportunity, as painful as it is, to grieve and let go of him completely. You have a husband at home whom you're trying to reconnect with and fix your marriage. Having (ex)MM in your life, albeit by phone, just keeps the feelings alive and keeps you from committing to your husband and marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Try to focus on your own well being. I know that is so difficult but there are times when that is all we can do. Their marriage is something over which you have no control and really, if you are redoubling your efforts in your marriage... it is ok for him to save his too. I hope this feeling passes quickly for you, try and be strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts