She was on pof and okcupid while we were exclusively dating.

[CalvinM]

Long story short, I'm 34, she's 35. We'd been dating for about a month and a half when she got "sick". We barely spoke over text for two weeks and didn't see each other at all. When I asked her if she had gone to a doctor/walkin clinic, she said it wasn't that serious and that she preferred to recover at her bodies pace. Red flag number one, I suppose. I work quite close to her house, and offered to drop off a care package, but she would say "no, that's ok."

 

Her reasoning for wanting to "deal with it on her own" being that she had spent a large amount of time up north on her own and was forced to rely on her own.

 

She started posting about events she'd been going to such as concerts and out for cake with a "friend". Red flag two.

 

When I asked her about the fact that she was going out with one guy in particular, she said "that's just x, a friend from high school." When I asked how she was able to go to work and for 7k runs, yet not see her boyfriend, she said "I'm not ready for you to see me sick."

 

It didn't add up, and when I pressed for more info, she'd get defensive. I told her I didn't think we were on the same page, that she was being distant and that I felt I was being lied to. She got more defensive. I ended things.

 

I created a pof profile on the 21st of November. That night she called saying she was sorry for being distant. She invited me over for a few days later to try to reconcile and I realize there's still chemistry. We end up in bed, stopping short at sex because it's her week. She tells me she still wants to have sex, but I resist thinking it better to wait for her to be done her womanly stuff. She says she's tired around 11:30, asks me to leave.

 

The next day we talk, she decides that she wants to reconcile. I'm still on the fence, but agree to try working things out. A few days go by and I go on pof to discover that not only is her account active, but shes been online that day.

 

I bring it up, she says she was online changing her mail settings. Meanwhile, that morning she's posting photos of a "friend" she spent the day with on fb in really close selfie poses.

 

Sunday night we talk and she says she wants to work through this. Invited me over for this coming Wed to figure out the rest of it. Asks if I'll take down my dating profile so we can give things an "honest chance."

 

Last night we're talking and as I'm heading home she abruptly ends the conversation around 8pm saying she's trying to spend less time on her phone, that it's been a long day and she'll message me tomorrow.

 

I get a suspicious feeling, and when I get home, find she now has an okcupid profile and that she's online. I confront her about it, and she says "I'm uncertain about us."

 

I end things.

Edited December 1, 2015 by CalvinM

[JS84]

A lot of flaky people out there. Sucks but at least you guys haven't been dating all that long. If she reaches out again just ignore her.

[AspenBaldwin]

I think I have a profile on there but can't remember my own password.

[almond]

Pretty sad that a 35 year old is still acting like this. How ridiculous.

 

You dodged a bullet. The only mistake in my opinion was not ending it earlier, and letting her go on with the b/s for as long as you have.

 

Block her number and don't look back.

[Space Ritual]

Sorry that happened to you but it is more common than you know.

 

She was just keeping you on the back burner until she could determine see if one of the other romeos from the 2 sites was gonna pan out. and if it didn't there was good old Calvin, none the wiser...but you were wise and you spared yourself a boatload of drama

 

The internet is a great resource for many things...also it can be a vehicle by which people who need constant validation can drum up that validation in an instant.

 

 

 

The best thing you can do, Calvin, is to delete and block her phone number, email address, FB, everything. The goal is to reach the point of indifference.

 

Seriously just give her crickets. and don't feel bad. I had it happen to me, and I'm sure i'm not the only one. In my case my then GF of 2 months "forgot" to tell me she was still married, albeit separated for 3 years. Simply something that she neglected to inform me of. But I found out and abruptly ended the relationship after confronting her about it and getting the "I didn't think it was a big deal"...She actually said that. lol

 

Yeah, Crickets. Don't even allow her to contact you again.

[TexasMan68]

I love the last line...."I end things"

 

Well done, well done!!

[Michelle ma Belle]

Pretty sad that a 35 year old is still acting like this. How ridiculous.

 

You dodged a bullet. The only mistake in my opinion was not ending it earlier, and letting her go on with the b/s for as long as you have.

 

Block her number and don't look back.

 

I second this.

[CalvinM]

I find it interesting that she tried to throw it back on me by saying "why are you on here?" I wasn't. But I had a feeling she was.

 

Anyways, yeah I don't really care. She had asked me to meet her family this weekend too, which not just seems quite comical.

[Friskyone4u]

Calvin,

 

Let one of her online boyfriends meet her family.

 

Pathetic that a 35 year old woman is acting like a teen ager.

 

Block her on everything and finsd a woman who is not a liar.

[Lois_Griffin]

What I can't believe is that you kept running right back to her, over and over and over and over and over, even with all the BLATANT bullcrap you knew she was pulling on you.

 

You seriously need to start respecting yourself.

[Darren Steez]

You just got yourself the perfect early christmas gift. Freedom from her BS and stress. Not to mention no idea of the dudes she's banging out there, mess around and catch a disease.

 

Pat yourself on the back son, you done well kicking her to the curb. And don't get hooked back either, no doubt she'll be in touch. She seems to like this push and pull stuff.

[salparadise]

Agree with Darren. You dodged a bullet on this one.

 

There are thousands of threads on LS where you can see women advising each other to be extremely skeptical when starting off with a new guy. One indication of a divergence between words and actions and his character is assassinated and she is advised to kick his ass to the curb and activate the next one.

 

Well, it goes both ways. This is one reason I think guys should not engage in relentless pursuit of a woman who seems reticent. Make'em meet you half way. Observe closely and give'em plenty of rope to hang themselves.

 

Consistency, reliability and integrity are the baseline. The problem men have is that the hotter the woman the more they're willing to overlook what would otherwise be completely obvious. I think this is a thing you learn to intuitively feel after awhile, esp. if you get taken for a ride by a few like this one.

 

Men need to learn to jump ship at the first sign of kooky, and not wait until they get plastered with it.

[CalvinM]

What I can't believe is that you kept running right back to her, over and over and over and over and over, even with all the BLATANT bullcrap you knew she was pulling on you.

 

You seriously need to start respecting yourself.

Excuse me? I didn't go back to her over and over. We reconciled, then I broke it off.

[CalvinM]

You just got yourself the perfect early christmas gift. Freedom from her BS and stress. Not to mention no idea of the dudes she's banging out there, mess around and catch a disease.

 

Pat yourself on the back son, you done well kicking her to the curb. And don't get hooked back either, no doubt she'll be in touch. She seems to like this push and pull stuff.

I don't think so. After I told her that her new profile photo made her look like the grandma from who's the boss, that bridge is burned.

[Space Ritual]

I don't think so. After I told her that her new profile photo made her look like the grandma from who's the boss, that bridge is burned.

 

 

Yeah if someone told me I looked like Katherine Helmond I'd be looking for a feeding Trough. She is a 86 year old Horseface. lol