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She's killing me


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There's this amazing girl I met at work about 6 months ago. It was on 2-14 after I gave her a rose I found out from a friend she likes me and wants to date. At first I was not a bit obsessive, and didn't care too much how she would react to the rose. Either way we were good friends, and we enjoyed each others' prescence; we "clicked", so to speak

 

The problem is, the more I got to know her, the better I liked her. Her personality, her looks, her sense of humor, everything, I loved it all. My problem is that from inexperience I was too frequent in contacting her while she slowly lost interest in me romantically. Even though I was not desparate in anything I said or how I acted, I came off as too emotionally obsessive just from calling. We discussed this and she told me I was rushing and needed to slow down and "enjoy us." After a few bitter words thru txt message it seemed like it was over, even though no one ever officially said it was. We were never by any means a couple, but thats what we were looking forward to.

 

So after that bit, I completely cut it off for a long time. I had to give myself some time to get over her. I still had to work with her and that just messed up my day seeing her at work. After a while, she started getting kind of flirty with me at work again, hanging around me any time she got a chance. I call her up one night, she sounds ecstatic to hear from me, I offer her a ride home from work the next day (she has no car and shes 16), and she gladly accepts. From there on out she seemed completely receptive of me and it seemed like she was getting her interest back, but I can't tell in what way.

 

Let me tell you she was in her last relationship for over 2 yrs and she is still close friends with her ex, so I cant tell if she just wants me to be her close friend, or something more. She never directly put me in the friend zone, but she did say "we're friends and we're just getting to know each other" once in response to me asking her if she ever saw herself with me like that (bf/gf). But still, she smiles at me like no other guy, and talks to me the same.(Mixed signals)

 

I do not want to be her close friend, it hurts too much and I can't tell her how I feel. I do not want to make another move in fear that I will make things awkward between us and that hurts just as much. If I were to be her close friend, and she gets a new boyfriend, I wouldn't be able to stand it, I'd have to cut her off again, this time for a lot longer than 3 weeks. How can I determine whether she likes me as more than a friend and be subtle about it?

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westernxer
Originally posted by NoContact

How can I determine whether she likes me as more than a friend and be subtle about it?

 

Only way is if she showed you, but she hasn't, so you know she doesn't. All the smiles in the world won't change that.

 

By the way, she's kind of young to have been with a boyfriend for two years. Talk about wasting away as a teenager...

 

Don't settle so quickly. Go out with lots of chicks, not just one, and not while you're still in high school.

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SuperFantastico

Do you see what happened there? You paid lots of attention to her and she lost interest. Then you completely ignored her and she was into you again. I say, keep your distance. Drive her crazy. Girls like the chase as much as guys do. Make her come to you. If you really want to F with her. Be all flirty for a week, then cut off contact to a very bare minimum for a week, then back to flirty, then back to minimum contact. It will keep her off ballance, make her want you more. Actually i belive its two weeks and two weeks. She comes to depend on your attention then you take it away, and let her stew for two weeks. She'll probably think you are a jerk for a few days, then she will wonder what she did because she misses the attention. Then after the two weeks, start paying lots of attention to her again. And she will be all over you. Rinse and repeat as much as necessary.

 

P.S. Yes i know mind games are evil, but sometimes you gotta do a bad thing for good stuff to happen. I mean you will treat her really well if you go out with her right.

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