Father is fixated on Asian girls

[Applect]

First time on this website......just wanted some place to vent :mad:

 

For the past few years my father has been obsessed with Asian girls and it's really starting to bother me finally.

Well, actually it's always bothered me but I feel like I'm finally reaching my boiling point.

My father has been single for over thirteen years (I'm 17) and I feel like that's probably because he wanted to focus on me and give me his full attention. He has always been a great father but I feel embarrassed that he is so obviously fixated on Asian girls.

And I feel like this fixation has partly been the cause of his being single for so long.

Asian girls are not too common where we live and I doubt the few around here would want to date a middle aged dad.

My fathers romantic life is really not my business but I feel like now that I am older and will be leaving for college at some point....I really want to see him happy and maybe find a nice woman to share his life with.

But if he insists on perving over Asian girls every spare moment of his life....I'm afraid he will be lonely and creepy for the rest of his life.

My father has a lot going for him.....he's got a good job.....a pretty nice house.....he's really gentle and compassionate. So that why it bothers me that his personality takes this weird u turn when it comes to Asian girls.

He has a box full of pervy DVDs with Asian girls.....his screen saver and wall paper......Asian girls.....a big stack of magazines in his drawer.....full of Asian girls.....

I don't even use his laptop anymore.....too many sleazy pictures of Asian girls in it:mad:

 

I feel like he stands no chance of ever finding happiness when he has this kind of obsession.....and honestly.....it just plain creeps me out. I want to be proud of my dad but actually I'm a little ashamed instead, because of this.

Is this kind of thing normal?

Am I just being a total b@&$h?

Thanks.....feels a little better to have vented

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I'm glad you vented as well.

 

 

Before I get to the part about the Asian girls, I think that you are prioritizing your father's romantic life beyond what makes sense.

 

 

I mean, IF you came here and added "(my dad has gone out on 3000 'first dates' with women from match dot calm over the past 13 years, and not one of them has taken him up on a 2nd date)" then that would be significant.

 

But we here at LS don't even know whether your dad is really looking for romance at this point.

 

 

Now, the part about the Asian girls...

 

 

Any chance your father has spent any significant time in Asia back before you were born?

 

 

Beyond that, I want to ask what kind of a person your mother is/was? And from what you know, what was her relationship like with your father?

 

 

There is something of a subservient image to Asian females and that certainly inspires the (kinds of males who go for such lopsided relationships) to step forward and identify themselves (for better or for worse - far too often for worse).

 

Do you think THAT fits your father's image OF women???

 

If you're a seventeen-year-old female yourself, surely by now you've gleaned a whole lot in the way of the kind of woman your father wants/expects you to be.

 

So can you see any of those traits in the ideals your father may carry for your image?

[bathtub-row]

I'm pretty sure if I had a father behaving in such a blatant manner, it would disturb me, too. Unfortunately, your dad seems to think it's ok to flaunt his behavior around you. I'm not sure if there's anything you can do about it except to point out to him that it's really an inappropriate thing to do around his daughter.

 

There are a lot of men who are obsessed with Asian women, mostly because they have little respect for women and they think Asian women are subservient. I honestly don't think your dad is interested in having a relationship with anyone, he just wants to fantasize. I used to know a guy who basically moved heaven and earth to bring his Asian wife to the States. But once he got her here, he cheated on her constantly, often bad-mouthed her, and bragged about how she did everything for him. It made me sick.

 

I'd say that your dad's actions says a lot about his disrespect toward you. It's almost like a control thing where he's silently saying to you that he can do as he pleases and you must accept it. As I said earlier, probably the best you can do is point out that you find it inappropriate and upsetting. Most men would know this without having to be told but maybe he just needs to hear it.

[whichwayisup]

Is it the Asian thing for real that is bothering you or that he's lusting and not committing/dating? How would you feel if he dated or had an Asian girlfriend? Would you feel the same way if he had a pile of magazines about blondes, bookmarked porn sites for blondes etc..etc..?

 

Your dad may be too scared to get involved with anybody so this is safe for him. Maybe he doesn't want to meet someone or have a girlfriend/wife again after losing his wife, your mom.

 

Does he have friends? Is he close to other family members, cousins, etc? Does he isolate himself from socializing and going out with buddies? Just wondering if he is happy being single and you're just worried about him being lonely when you go away.

[sam light]

Well, people have a right to decide who they find attractive. It's not pervy to like a certain type...tall, short, fit, white, black, Asian, blondes, or redheads.

 

Debatable if he should or shouldn't cover his tracks as far as you're concerned. Maybe he thought you were mature enough to handle his preferences.

 

Bathtub-row, perceived submissiveness isn't the main appeal of Asian women to everyone. For me it's the lush black hair and pettiteness that attracts me. I haven't found American born Asians to be submissive at all, and I wouldn't want them to be. Desiring Asian women doesn't mean a disrespect of them or non-Asian women. Perhaps you have some jealousies regarding them?

[bathtub-row]

Well, people have a right to decide who they find attractive. It's not pervy to like a certain type...tall, short, fit, white, black, Asian, blondes, or redheads.

 

Debatable if he should or shouldn't cover his tracks as far as you're concerned. Maybe he thought you were mature enough to handle his preferences.

 

Bathtub-row, perceived submissiveness isn't the main appeal of Asian women to everyone. For me it's the lush black hair and pettiteness that attracts me. I haven't found American born Asians to be submissive at all, and I wouldn't want them to be. Desiring Asian women doesn't mean a disrespect of them or non-Asian women. Perhaps you have some jealousies regarding them?

 

That's good to hear. No I have no jealousies toward them. What irked me was the guy's attitude toward a woman that he claimed to be so nuts about and then he later disrespected her in every way. I've seen it many times that there's a connection between men who disrespect women and their fixation on Asian women. While I don't find Asian men attractive - they are often rude to women - I can understand someone finding the women attractive. In this case, that's not the issue at all. The issue is that her dad doesn't have enough sense to keep this in the background. I don't get the impression these are just nice pics of these women. It's raunchy stuff and no kid needs to be witness to a parent's sexual fantasies. The Asian thing isn't the issue. It's his lack of knowing it's inappropriate for his daughter to see.

[AspenBaldwin]

Some people have a 'race fetish' but are you going to do about it? It's a matter of personal preference.

 

Now what I would like to know is if he likes the way they look, or does he believe them to be more docile and obedient?

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Some people have a 'race fetish' but are you going to do about it? It's a matter of personal preference.

 

Now what I would like to know is if he likes the way they look, or does he believe them to be more docile and obedient?

 

I was going to say the same, but it really matters not,

For his preference is his preference, even with stereotyping thought.

The docile and obedient stereotype derived from a majority claim,

But that's a different topic, and his taste may just lie with Asians all the same.

[Keenly]

There is not really much you can do about. You even acknowledge it's not your business. Do you know he is miserable? Does he specifically mention that he wants what YOU want for him? Maybe I'm the wrong person to ask, but it rubs me the wrong way when other people start placing their wants onto some one else. It's like... Let the man be. Clearly he likes Asian girls. There's plenty of them in the world too. If he HAS mentioned that's what he wants, then there is not much you, as a 17 year old daughter, can do to help him. It's not like you can be his life coach or anything.

 

Maybe when you move out he will develop a new hobby and end up meeting some one. I don't know. But since you have so much time left with your dad, I suggest you love him long time.

[123321]

I'm a fan of Asian girls.

 

I don't see what the issue is - maybe once you get out of the house he'll be getting some.