cco_3 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Help! I found nude photos of my husband's co-worker saved on his computer. He had sent them from one email account to a secret email account where he has all of his pornograpic images saved. When I confronted him he claims nothing ever happened, and that someone at work shared them. He also claims that he only saved them because he was planning to tell her but couldn't figure out how to. Eventually she told him that her ex had hacked into her account and posted a bunch of nude photos on Reddit. He says he simply forgot to delete them. 1. I don't know why she would tell her boss about that type of thing 2. I don't know why he would save them in his porn stash (though he claims he sends stuff there so I wouldn't find it and get upset). I asked him to quit his job but he said he can't do that (he is at a really good company and is a Sr. Director). I'm so lost and don't know what to trust. Please can you advise? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cco_3 Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 I found nude images of one girl and an image of another girl clothed but in a flirty pose on my husband's browsing history, but they don't look like they're saved from a porn site. The web address it showed was dashboard.mozeo.com. I looked it up and it looks like it's a mobile marketing service that blasts bulk SMS so this doesn't make sense. Plus, why would it say dashboard?! Has anyone heard of this or can give me some context? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Four minutes ago you posted this thread. Can you clarify which you think it is? Edit to add: Threads merged. Now, confusion is all in one place.... Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Sorry OP but this has red flags and caution tape, cones and flares all over it!!! My opinion? He's lying. The whole story is ridiculous not to mention how bad of a liar he is. I'm not saying he did anything with her but the fact that he has those pics in the first place AND hid them in some private folder he has for porn is very, very sketchy. I don't have much advice about this since I've never been in this predicament but whatever you do, trust your gut and don't be naive. Hugs. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Dashboard question - If your husband views porn, he will get blasted with sex adds. Those I wouldnt worry about. The coworker deal is a different issue Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 He saved pictures of his nude co worker. He hid it from you knowing you would be upset. What's to wonder about? Are you thinking this is innocent? It's not! No man has nude pics of me! No one! This boundary has been crossed and if nothing else he knows exactly what she looks like nude. That's private and personal and intimate! He's lying if he says he's not involved with her! What do you plan to do about it? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 He saved pictures of his nude co worker. He hid it from you knowing you would be upset. What's to wonder about? Are you thinking this is innocent? It's not! No man has nude pics of me! No one! This boundary has been crossed and if nothing else he knows exactly what she looks like nude. That's private and personal and intimate! He's lying if he says he's not involved with her! What do you plan to do about it? ^Yep I totally agree. OP if I were you I would keep investigating before tipping the hand. Install a keylogger and dig dig dig through his phone, deleted messages, seach on spotlight, whatever you need to do to find the proof because I'm sure it's there. Your WH is lying to you to protect his azz. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 This is covering his butt. He was sent the pics. this is an EA or a PA either way in a dday men say anything for damage control and from the outside looking in, his story is ludicrous and not even remotely believable not one tiny bit is true, worst alibi ever. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pondhawk Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I too found a secret email account with pics and old emails. Printed the proof out and he denied, denied, denied. But it was all true. Cheaters lie. That's what they do. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Don't believe what he says, go undercover and get all the info you can. Line your ducks up. Focus on yourself and your health. This kind of stress can do real damage to your physical well being. (((hugs))) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Hi. I'm sorry you're going through all of this during the holiday season...I don't know, for some reason it makes it worse for me. If the pictures are very graphic...clearly showing her bits & pieces...it was likely "I'll show you mine if you show me yours!" kind of thing. Research, pry & snoop as the best advise I was given. I came to a forum actually believing my H was 'Just Friends' with his past mistress...I found the receipt for HER Mothers Day flowers "To the best mother in the world!". What advise would you of given me? 'Research, pry & snoop!', find as much info as you can. I used to joke that my H had such an honest face, he could never lie to me! I also once said "He's always with me. He doesn't have time for an affair!". Turns out he didn't work or go to the gym as much as I thought! Ugh! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Help! I found nude photos of my husband's co-worker saved on his computer. He had sent them from one email account to a secret email account where he has all of his pornograpic images saved. When I confronted him he claims nothing ever happened, and that someone at work shared them. He also claims that he only saved them because he was planning to tell her but couldn't figure out how to. Eventually she told him that her ex had hacked into her account and posted a bunch of nude photos on Reddit. He says he simply forgot to delete them. Cheaters lie. His story is a lie, and not a very good one at that. Cheaters think that as long as they move their lips and have a lying cover story, that no matter how unbelievable it is, their spouse is somehow obligated to accept it as the truth. They think that you need them to admit to their cheating for you to be able to hold them accountable for their cheating. This only works if you buy into this. Look him in the eye and tell him that you have given him the benifit of thinking his story through, and that upon such review, you know that the story is bull***** and that he is lying. Then tell him that you demand that he immediately end his relationship with the naked photo coworker. Then ask him if he or the coworker have feelings for each other. Ask this question and shut up. The first one to speak loses. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Makes me want to break into my husbands accounts, any tips on how to break in? Those pesky passwords. And how do you find a secret account? Either way back to you OP, my xap saves my photos and his wife found them over a year after the A was over. The story he gave her was painfully stupid, he didn't come clean, he told her not even 1% of the truth and she believed it or wanted to. Im sorry but that story he gave you is just awful. Are you going to contact the woman? Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Help! I found nude photos of my husband's co-worker saved on his computer. He had sent them from one email account to a secret email account where he has all of his pornograpic images saved. When I confronted him he claims nothing ever happened, and that someone at work shared them. He also claims that he only saved them because he was planning to tell her but couldn't figure out how to. Eventually she told him that her ex had hacked into her account and posted a bunch of nude photos on Reddit. He says he simply forgot to delete them. 1. I don't know why she would tell her boss about that type of thing 2. I don't know why he would save them in his porn stash (though he claims he sends stuff there so I wouldn't find it and get upset). I asked him to quit his job but he said he can't do that (he is at a really good company and is a Sr. Director). I'm so lost and don't know what to trust. Please can you advise? How do you think your paranoia fits someone like me who purely randomly found nude online photos of a woman who works very near to me, and who also sent both the pictures and the links to a secondary/secret email address maintained mostly for storage... There is exactly nothing in the actions to suggest that anything happened between your husband and that subject/object or between me and the person I discovered on the net. PS - is it a coworker? or a boss/employee??? And IF someone hacked into your computer, and stole your nude photos, and posted them on the internet, wouldn't you expect that somebody would spread the word there at the office, and that the boss would find out, and that to tell him... the truth/(some story) would eventually be a course of action? Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I'm sure he can show you the email where these photos were forwarded to him, right? Should be in his inbox, right? Or how about the email that sent to his secret account? Should be in his sent messages, right? Or it should be in his secret inbox, right? Or how about deleted messages folders? No? All copies of these emails were deleted from everywhere? Yeah, there's a reason for that. The email came from her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cco_3 Posted December 3, 2015 Author Share Posted December 3, 2015 These are such good points! It is so painful that these are the lies he continues to tell me after such an action. Shows his complete lack of remorse. Sickening. PS - I found the pics accidentally also. I had just bought him a very, very nice Christmas present and put it on his reward card (I paid btw) so he would get points. I even TOLD him to let me in his gmail so I could delete it. I just happened upon this secret account because he forwarded other porn pictures from his gmail and just couldn't help but take a peek:( Of course the email that was sent to him was deleted, btw. Very good point. I am planning to try couples counselling but to be honest I've already contacted a divorce lawyer. So disappointing how this all happened. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 TI had just bought him a very, very nice Christmas present and put it on his reward card (I paid btw) so he would get points. Return the gift. I'm sorry you are going through this. Spend time on the Infidelity board and read other scenarios, especially about Trickle Truth. Google "The 180" from Marriage Busters and implement immediately. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
flowergirl14 Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 My wh had a two year affair and had a zip drive with ow nude photos of herself. Where there is smoke there is fire! Your h is, was, or will cheat. This most likely isnt his first rodeo just the first time you caught him. Dig deeper without letting him know. Put on your poker face. Its time to figure out the real mr._ is. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 These are such good points! It is so painful that these are the lies he continues to tell me after such an action. Shows his complete lack of remorse. Sickening. PS - I found the pics accidentally also. I had just bought him a very, very nice Christmas present and put it on his reward card (I paid btw) so he would get points. I even TOLD him to let me in his gmail so I could delete it. I just happened upon this secret account because he forwarded other porn pictures from his gmail and just couldn't help but take a peek:( Of course the email that was sent to him was deleted, btw. Very good point. I am planning to try couples counselling but to be honest I've already contacted a divorce lawyer. So disappointing how this all happened. I went through something very similar. He's full of it. Glad to see you've contacted a lawyer. Frankly, I've seen women stay and try the forgiveness angle. I've seen women leave. Myself, I stayed but with conditions, but didn't enforce them very well. Mostly, I would kick my husband put when he was being an arsehole. I never let go of what I wanted from our marriage figuring he would smarten up and get sick of being kicked out. Every time he came back it seemed promising. Sometimes for weeks or months. He didn't until I finally had enough and stopped contact with him for quite awhile. I really didn't want him to come back by that point. He decided to finally take it seriously and went to treatment etc. Again, took it seriously. But really. It was a stupidly long haul and we are in weekly marital counseling still. And it's been SIX years. The women who left all have different lives by now. The women who stayed and just forgave / believed / try to "love him better" have roughly the same lives they did AFTER they discovered the alien they were living with. As in, he still cheats and figures its all good because "clearly she knows about it as long as I don't make it TOO obvious." 3 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I'm sure he can show you the email where these photos were forwarded to him, right? Should be in his inbox, right? Or how about the email that sent to his secret account? Should be in his sent messages, right? Or it should be in his secret inbox, right? Or how about deleted messages folders? No? All copies of these emails were deleted from everywhere? Yeah, there's a reason for that. The email came from her. What do you hope counseling will accomplish? How do you plan to change this when he hasn't admitted to doing anything wrong? I hope you get a game plan/plan of action... He figures he's three steps ahead of you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Pics or it didn't happen. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 He received the original email then forwarded to his secret account. He says a different co worker shared the pictures. Who sent him the original email...? Did she send it or did someone else send it to him? And since he won't quit (which isn't a good sign that's he's willing to do anything to protect/save your marriage) and she's under him - he could fire her for sending inappropriate photos to other employees, yes? IF it was originally sent to someone else and they forwarded it to him - has this person been reprimanded and/or fired? Either way, he's put himself in a bad situation by even receiving the pictures. IF he's innocent - has he reported her and the other employee to HR? What action has he taken as her boss to shut down inappropriate actions such as this from his employees? Start asking questions! Write down his answers. You may need to refer to his answers if he starts changing his story. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 1. I don't know why she would tell her boss about that type of thing 2. I don't know why he would save them in his porn stash 1. Because Miss America didn't tell the pageant people about her nude photos, and it backfired on her when they turned up. 2. For reasons akin to why the best-selling issue of a porn magazine was one in which Miss America's nude photos were published. And just because some guys are dumb enough to want to hide noteworthy porn photos in a secret email account without having the common sense to delete them from "sent messages" on the main account doesn't mean that a woman should think her husband that dumb, and then base her entire divorce on such a flimsy thought process. So far the OP won't even confirm whether the woman in question is a "coworker" or indeed the husband is "her boss". So far the OP has mentioned nothing concrete enough to warrant even thinking about a divorce lawyer. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Help! I found nude photos of my husband's co-worker saved on his computer. He had sent them from one email account to a secret email account where he has all of his pornograpic images saved. When I confronted him he claims nothing ever happened, and that someone at work shared them. He also claims that he only saved them because he was planning to tell her but couldn't figure out how to. Eventually she told him that her ex had hacked into her account and posted a bunch of nude photos on Reddit. He says he simply forgot to delete them. 1. I don't know why she would tell her boss about that type of thing 2. I don't know why he would save them in his porn stash (though he claims he sends stuff there so I wouldn't find it and get upset). I asked him to quit his job but he said he can't do that (he is at a really good company and is a Sr. Director). I'm so lost and don't know what to trust. Please can you advise? Sincere - It appears he is her boss - as inferred in item #1 and the statement two sentences above #1. Either way - it's inappropriate. He participated by viewing his subordinates nudie pics and then saving them for future viewing. Yet he won't quit working with her. He expects no consequences for his participation. I wouldn't want my husband working with a gal he's seen naked. He also is sneaky and most likely lying. Not good character traits within any marriage. None of it points to an honest man trying to save his marriage and comfort his wife who's found out her husband has been participating on a level that's shady. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I even TOLD him to let me in his gmail so I could delete it. I just happened upon this secret account Since he let you into the account, you did nothing wrong in finding the nude photos of the coworker. Did you keep a copy of the nude photos of the coworker as proof? Did you tell the coworker's spouse or significant other, because they have a right to know? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 (edited) Help! I found nude photos of my husband's co-worker saved on his computer. He had sent them from one email account to a secret email account where he has all of his pornograpic images saved. When I confronted him he claims nothing ever happened, and that someone at work shared them. He also claims that he only saved them because he was planning to tell her but couldn't figure out how to. Eventually she told him that her ex had hacked into her account and posted a bunch of nude photos on Reddit. He says he simply forgot to delete them. 1. I don't know why she would tell her boss about that type of thing 2. I don't know why he would save them in his porn stash (though he claims he sends stuff there so I wouldn't find it and get upset). I asked him to quit his job but he said he can't do that (he is at a really good company and is a Sr. Director). I'm so lost and don't know what to trust. Please can you advise? Too many secrets and some very skewed priorities. Were you already okay with the porn stash? Anyway, so he INTENTIONALLY hides his porn stash from you already and sends stuff there so you won't find it and get upset. And that's supposed to be an acceptable excuse? How is it that #1 and 2 are the ex-husband and saving the pictures stories? You should've started counting with the secret email account. Edited December 3, 2015 by merrmeade 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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