Getting over jealousy/envy

[bumfour]

So, my husband and I just got married on November 14th of this year. Newlyweds. I love him. Truly I do; he's an amazing man and I couldn't see myself with anyone else. Ever. There's just one little problem. He, like every other man out there, well..likes boobs. I didn't know how to sugarcoat it, so I figured I'd just throw it out there. But, with him, it almost seems like an obsession. Every pair that he sees, he has to make some comment about them. And, don't even get me started if some chick has a huge rack. Good lord. I'm a decent size, C cup. So I'm not small. But, I don't have like DD's or anything. I'm also on the small side, 104 lbs soaking wet but anyways, here recently, I've just been trying to get over it when he talks about other women like that. I know he'd never actually do anything with anybody else, but just the fact that he talks about them like that, almost literally makes me sick to my stomach. But I don't say anything about it. It wouldn't be fair to him, considering I do the same thing when I see an attractive guy, I'll let him know I think that guy is attractive, or a girl with a nice body, whichever I happen to see first. There's no stopping him from his..obsession with boobs, or how much he talks about them. There's just no way. He has mentioned before in the past that he would love to have the kind of relationship with me where we can both freely chat about someone we see without the other person getting offended. It doesn't bother him when I do it. But, the only relationships I've ever been in before (there were quite a few), ended terribly for me. Whether it be verbal/physical abuse, or me being cheated on. Usually, it was more of the second one. I can't seem to shake the sick feeling I get whenever he comments on someone else's body, or tells me (he's just trying to be slightly funny), what he'd like to do to that person. I just need advice on how to completely get over it. If brought up in conversation between us, it usually ends with him telling me that I basically need to get over it, because he doesn't mind when I comment about other people. I've been trying, trying to just ignore it when he does it. But I just can't seem to do it. I don't know why. But I would really like to get over it at least 95% of the way, if not completely. Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

So, my husband and I just got married on November 14th of this year. Newlyweds. I love him. Truly I do; he's an amazing man and I couldn't see myself with anyone else. Ever. There's just one little problem. He, like every other man out there, well..likes boobs. I didn't know how to sugarcoat it, so I figured I'd just throw it out there. But, with him, it almost seems like an obsession. Every pair that he sees, he has to make some comment about them. And, don't even get me started if some chick has a huge rack. Good lord. I'm a decent size, C cup. So I'm not small. But, I don't have like DD's or anything. I'm also on the small side, 104 lbs soaking wet but anyways, here recently, I've just been trying to get over it when he talks about other women like that. I know he'd never actually do anything with anybody else, but just the fact that he talks about them like that, almost literally makes me sick to my stomach. But I don't say anything about it. It wouldn't be fair to him, considering I do the same thing when I see an attractive guy, I'll let him know I think that guy is attractive, or a girl with a nice body, whichever I happen to see first. There's no stopping him from his..obsession with boobs, or how much he talks about them. There's just no way. He has mentioned before in the past that he would love to have the kind of relationship with me where we can both freely chat about someone we see without the other person getting offended. It doesn't bother him when I do it. But, the only relationships I've ever been in before (there were quite a few), ended terribly for me. Whether it be verbal/physical abuse, or me being cheated on. Usually, it was more of the second one. I can't seem to shake the sick feeling I get whenever he comments on someone else's body, or tells me (he's just trying to be slightly funny), what he'd like to do to that person. I just need advice on how to completely get over it. If brought up in conversation between us, it usually ends with him telling me that I basically need to get over it, because he doesn't mind when I comment about other people. I've been trying, trying to just ignore it when he does it. But I just can't seem to do it. I don't know why. But I would really like to get over it at least 95% of the way, if not completely. Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

I have highlighted the areas I found the most concerning. I know you are trying to be open and easygoing but come on, this is too much! I think even the most secure partner would have a problem with this. He has to say something every time? That is ridiculous! What makes it even worse is that he is telling you what he would like to do to them. It is disgusting and extremely disrespectful to you. It is crossing a line.

 

There may be some people who would be ok with this openness in their relationship, but it clearly doesn't work for you. It is making you feel sick so you really have no choice but to tell him, or suffer with years of this behavior.

 

You are not being unreasonable for feeling the way you do. I wouldn't just ignore it. Be as honest as he is and set some boundaries.

 

Take care.

[SixxChick]

^ What Scarlett.O'hara said. You knew about this behavior before you got married, right? There is nothing wrong with people watching, but IMO your husband crosses the line. He should be a little more sensitive to your feelings and treat you with respect ... like a wife, not a drinking buddy. Good luck to you!

[dichotomy]

So he would not mind if you made comments about huge dicks on other men?

 

This is not healthy for him to make these comments. I mean maybe once in a while.

[Apparition]

I completely agree with the others, and I'm male, but we're not all alike. Your husband is being very disrespectful to you and to women in general. It's completely inappropriate. If a woman did this she would be seen as a slut for commenting on men's genitals. He has a woman who loves him who has breasts of her own, he should be focusing on yours and yours alone. Seriously, put him in his place.