xpaperxcutx Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I don't understand people's need to cheat and I certainly dont understand why a guy I used to know is cheating on his current gf. They've been together for a year but because pf religious reasons they're both waiting for marriage to consummate their relationahip. However, I caught him posting pictures on Craigslist and confronted him about it but he shut me out of his life. Why do people cheat? If he is looking for sex outside of marriage does that mean he does not love her? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Because they want to. At the end of the day there's lots of more detailed reasons and excuses that people give, to retroactively use to justify it, or to relieve the guilt. But at the end of the day, that's what they all boil down to. They cheat because they want to have sex with someone else, and they don't want to end their current relationship first. It's a choice they make. If he is looking for sex outside of marriage does that mean he does not love her? I would never cheat on someone I love. And I believe any rational person would share that viewpoint. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Why do people cheat? Poor coping mechanisms Low moral values and standards Low self esteem Unfufilling relationships and no backbone to leave Poor communication Inability to uphold a commitment They feel entitled Double standards The list is endless really .......but it boils down to...... simply because they can get away with it. Until they get caught... then...it's never worth it and becomes the biggest regret and mistake of their life. I bet if he knew she'd slept with someone else she'd become the scarlet woman and be unmarriable to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 They've been together for a year but because pf religious reasons they're both waiting for marriage to consummate their relationahip. However, I caught him posting pictures on Craigslist and confronted him about it but he shut me out of his life? LOL. Well, she's waiting for marriage. I'll assume lover boy is pretty young. At that age, they're just one big hormone looking for a place to happen. And love has nothing to do with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 LOL. Well, she's waiting for marriage. I'll assume lover boy is pretty young. At that age, they're just one big hormone looking for a place to happen. And love has nothing to do with it. No. He's 36. He's waiting for marriage and waiting forvher to convert to Islam. But he's still looking to have sex outside of marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 No. He's 36. He's waiting for marriage and waiting forvher to convert to Islam. But he's still looking to have sex outside of marriage. There you go, your answer is very simple. He is a douchebag. Nothing more to be said really. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Feeling entitled and ego are the two main components for cheating. You can't see the appeal unless you're "one of them", as hard as it sounds. For example there's a whole community of people on tumblr who pride themselves by posting pictures captioned "cheating on a loser" or the like, yuck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Feeling entitled and ego are the two main components for cheating. You can't see the appeal unless you're "one of them", as hard as it sounds. For example there's a whole community of people on tumblr who pride themselves by posting pictures captioned "cheating on a loser" or the like, yuck. There's an actual list I can check? The 'don't ever date' list accompanied by pictures and ****? This is awesome, I should look into this! It's like an idiot's guide for who to avoid, with a twist! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 5, 2015 Author Share Posted December 5, 2015 Feeling entitled and ego are the two main components for cheating. You can't see the appeal unless you're "one of them", as hard as it sounds. For example there's a whole community of people on tumblr who pride themselves by posting pictures captioned "cheating on a loser" or the like, yuck. Unfortunately i have been there where i cheated on an ex. I was talking to other men behind his back. This was all 2-3 years and looking back, I don't even know why I was inclined to cheat. I was young, and immature (22 years old) and I guess I was bored by my relarionship. And to be honest, this guy was the ex I cheated on and he left me for the other girl. I felt horrible for what I did to him but here he is doing the same things Idid. Was this karma or just simply the fact he is acting out for alot of things that happened in the past? Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 There's an actual list I can check? The 'don't ever date' list accompanied by pictures and ****? This is awesome, I should look into this! It's like an idiot's guide for who to avoid, with a twist! Well, they don't show themselves. They just put captions on porn pictures and apparently get off by the idea of feeling superior to the unaware person they betray. Really, really creepy; but there was a member whose wife was like this if I remember. Found her sharing her cheating experiences by posting them as stories during reconciliation. Ugh, some people... Unfortunately i have been there where i cheated on an ex. I was talking to other men behind his back. This was all 2-3 years and looking back, I don't even know why I was inclined to cheat. I was young, and immature (22 years old) and I guess I was bored by my relarionship. And to be honest, this guy was the ex I cheated on and he left me for the other girl. I felt horrible for what I did to him but here he is doing the same things Idid. Was this karma or just simply the fact he is acting out for alot of things that happened in the past? There's a difference between your behavior and the example I posted above - your behavior was probably just the result of immaturity and carelessness. But he's actively fishing for flings on the side if he makes such efforts like posting on Craigslist or whatever ad/dating portals there are while manipulating his partner. Both types make the conscious decision, but the really low ones do it with the intent to hurt others because it gives them an extra thrill. And yes, many people react to experiences, especially bad ones. When cheated on repeatedly many men simply grow a "Who cares" attitude and just play the field no matter who gets hurt as long as they get what they want - sex, really simple. No room for love there. Fortunately, these kind of people are easy to spot if you wait a little before you put on your rosy glasses. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 6, 2015 Author Share Posted December 6, 2015 There's a difference between your behavior and the example I posted above - your behavior was probably just the result of immaturity and carelessness. But he's actively fishing for flings on the side if he makes such efforts like posting on Craigslist or whatever ad/dating portals there are while manipulating his partner. Both types make the conscious decision, but the really low ones do it with the intent to hurt others because it gives them an extra thrill. And yes, many people react to experiences, especially bad ones. When cheated on repeatedly many men simply grow a "Who cares" attitude and just play the field no matter who gets hurt as long as they get what they want - sex, really simple. No room for love there. Fortunately, these kind of people are easy to spot if you wait a little before you put on your rosy glasses. Well I've been reading up on a lot on why people behave the way they do especially when it comes to cheating, but I still cannot believe that's him. Maybe once he does get married, and there is a physical relationship between them, he will stop? I guess I have tinted glasses on when it comes to him. I still love him despite how he left me, but it also hurts me a lot to know he left me for someone else, only to cheat on them. He doesn't want me back either. If I could turn back time, I wish I could change the things I did, or avoided hurting him. But now that things already past, I'm still trying to heal. I guess my questions are kind of foolish, because this should be no concern of mine, but honestly, if he is cheating on her, does that mean he does not love her? Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 OP I think you should tell the woman honestly usually id say stay out but if that guy is trying to get her to marry him and convert id tell her before she makes those two huge mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts