Just booked a doctors appointment to discuss my worrying

[Penguin_hugs]

Hi there

 

I'm venting to an online forum- because I'm just not sure who to talk to or how to say what I am really feeling.

 

I've always been a bit of a worrier- thought it was just my nature. I have IBS too- but that only really acts up when I'm stressed- particularly around exams.

 

Every year at uni I used to get really worked up and stressed towards exams- a couple of years I even went home for a few days when it got bad because my IBS was awful and I'd need some TLC from home!

 

Now I'm a trainee pharmacist. I work 40+ hours a week in a community pharmacy and then I go home to study. And I think it's fair to say I've got really worked up. I had a bit of a blip at the start when the pharmacy was really short staffed and I had to do several people's work- which really wasn't possible- but that situation has improved after I made a complaint and we got another member of staff.

 

But I just keep going through stages of excessive worrying. I'm not sleeping very well- I just keep thinking about patients during the day- particularly the unhinged ones and taking everything to heart. Things to do just go round and round in my head. Then everyday before work, I just feel a sense of dread about the day- like I can't cope with what may happen. And I hate myself for feeling like this- I don't know why my head gets like this. I start feeling violently sick, my stomach is massively cramped up and all my muscles ache.

 

Today one of my colleagues took me to one side to say that she could see that I was a bit off and I couldn't seem to control my worries anymore. She advised me to book a doctors appointment which I finally did.

 

It's daft- I know there shouldn't be a stigma with mental illness- but I feel like such a fail of a person for not being able to cope. Even though I dispense medications for these conditions on a daily basis- I don't know how I feel about taking them myself. I don't want them to change me as a person. I never went to a dr before because I thought that meds would make me lose my edge for motivation for studying

 

I'm also not telling my family about this. My parents divorced 12 years ago- partly because of my dad's crippling anxiety and depression. For some reason my Mum's side of the family seemed to look down on him because of this and they are a big group of gossips. Anything I would say to my Mum would be back to my grandparents within 10 mins!

 

I'm basically not really talking to anyone. I'm in a LDR for this year while on my work placement- and due to work schedules I only see my BF a few times a month and we skype about twice a week.

 

Just looking for some guidance really of how anti anxiety meds have affected you. Thanks

[TaraMaiden2]

IBS is made worse by stress.

While I have absolutely no experience of taking the kinds of drugs you're concerned by, I know two things, for sure, for absolute 100% sure:

 

1: - Meditation and relaxation is by far the best and most natural antidote to anxiety, but it takes time, and you have to stick with it.

 

2: - I make my own lacto-fermented pickles and a very good friend of mine cured - yes, CURED - her own IBS by eating the same pickles.

 

Should you wish to examine these two possibilities, I'll continue.

Until you give the ok, that's where I'll stop.

[Penguin_hugs]

Maybe the meditation option- but not the pickles. I'm not a great believer in "natural remedies". Just comes with the nature of my job I guess.

 

I know my IBS gets worse with stress- and my hair falls out too- but a dermatologist told me that there is nothing they can do for the type of alopecia I have- just be less stressed...

 

Going to be bald by the end of the year! At least my BF said I'd be a cute boiled egg!

[TaraMaiden2]

Maybe the meditation option- but not the pickles. I'm not a great believer in "natural remedies". Just comes with the nature of my job I guess.

'Nature' of your job...? Knowing that many of the remedies you prescribe are actually directly - or indirectly - derived from natural sources. Ok. That's funny, really. Ironic, even, but.... ok....

 

Instead of immediately dismissing the pickles out of hand (as you obviously have done), I would recommend you do some clinical and personal research. Lacto-fermentation, using untreated salt, fresh vegetables and spring water, generates probiotics, which, as you undoubtedly know, are both the antonyms and antidotes to the negative impact ANTI-biotics have on the system.

Anyone taking antibiotics is encouraged to replace the beneficial bacteria in their gut by eating plain yoghurt and other products which encourage the growth of said bacteria.

Probiotic pickles work very effectively, and supply the gut with a healthy balance of bacteria.

 

Do some research before dismissing 'natural remedies'. Natural remedies have existed since mankind first ate willow bark for headaches. And even before.

 

I know my IBS gets worse with stress- and my hair falls out too- but a dermatologist told me that there is nothing they can do for the type of alopecia I have- just be less stressed...

Hence the recommendation for meditation and relaxation exercises.

Interesting that they tell you the 'what' but never the 'how'.

 

Going to be bald by the end of the year! At least my BF said I'd be a cute boiled egg!

A bald, stressed and relatively unwell egg.

 

Not every cure is pharmaceutical.

My own medically-university trained Doctor, uses aromatherapy, and goes to Yoga classes....

[Penguin_hugs]

I didn't mean any offense- of course I know the origins of medication- I've just studied that for 4 years- I just prefer to use the derived products personally.

 

Just not sure that pickles are the way I want to treat my symptoms- that's all. I'll look in to the research like anything else on my study list.

 

I've seen 2 dermatologists who just said be less stressed or wait til the period of stress finishes as I can't remove myself from the situation

[whichwayisup]

Can you talk to your dad? He knows firsthand what you're feeling, so is that an option?

 

need to learn to de stress!! Yoga and meditation can really help keep you grounded and more at peace. Of course medication will help too but don't just rely on that. CBT cognitive behaviour therapy is very helpful type of counseling to battle anxiety.

 

Oh lemon and warm water!!

[Penguin_hugs]

I might try talking to him. I spoke to him once before when things were going bad at work and my BF advised me to see a dr. My Dad kind of shrugged things off as he is very much a "only the worst things happen to me" kind of person.

 

He lives abroad anyway- so skype and email is our only form of communication

[TaraMaiden2]

Just not sure that pickles are the way I want to treat my symptoms- that's all. I'll look in to the research like anything else on my study list.

Pickles won't 'treat the symptoms'. They'll directly address the cause.

Big difference....

 

I've seen 2 dermatologists who just said be less stressed or wait til the period of stress finishes as I can't remove myself from the situation

Then they're idiots, giving advice like that.

It's like a lady not enjoying housework, being told that she has to just try being more "woman".

 

It's all very well telling a hightly-anxious person to be less anxious - any dumb fool can do that.

At least we're providing you with options - that's 2 of us who have now recommended techniques.

 

Can't be all bad!!

[truthtripper]

IBS is made worse by stress.

While I have absolutely no experience of taking the kinds of drugs you're concerned by, I know two things, for sure, for absolute 100% sure:

 

1: - Meditation and relaxation is by far the best and most natural antidote to anxiety, but it takes time, and you have to stick with it.

 

2: - I make my own lacto-fermented pickles and a very good friend of mine cured - yes, CURED - her own IBS by eating the same pickles.

 

Should you wish to examine these two possibilities, I'll continue.

Until you give the ok, that's where I'll stop.

I've been making my own kefir with goats milk, but it only helped my stomach for about a month and then it bloated up again despite my continuing drinking the kefir. I recently started taking a product called Kiwi Klenz. I have read that kiwi fruits can also fix IBS as they contain so many enzymes and healing properties. But if this also fails me, I'll give the fermented pickles a try.

[truthtripper]

Anti-anxiety medication made me feel worse. It rendered me unable to work or drive. Please try meditation or some other form of relaxation before taking these chemicals. Anxiety and depression stem from underlying unacknowledged emotional trauma residing in the subconscious. It's better to dig deep and resolve this, than try to cover it up with medication.

[TaraMaiden2]

^^^ Great posts, TT... ^^^

[Penguin_hugs]

Thankyou for all your replies.

 

I think I'm most concerned with learning to control my worrying- so I'll have to look in to meditation- I just don't know where to begin with that. I've tried adult colouring books before.

 

I just booked an appointment to discuss my issues as I haven't really spoken to anyone about how I'm feeling. I finish work and usually don't speak face to face with another person til I start work again the next day.

 

I've had a horrible day off work sick today with gastroenteritis- it's been going round among my colleagues and now it's my turn, but I now have a week off work as annual leave where I hope to study and unwind from my work place a bit.

 

I have a number of food allergies- including kiwi, apples and pears- so I'm very cautious about trying certain things.

Edited December 4, 2015 by Penguin_hugs
Pressed post before finishing

[whichwayisup]

Thankyou for all your replies.

 

I think I'm most concerned with learning to control my worrying- so I'll have to look in to meditation- I just don't know where to begin with that. I've tried adult colouring books before.

You can get some good CBT books, claire weekes, sam obitz, are the authors. They are very helpful!!

I just booked an appointment to discuss my issues as I haven't really spoken to anyone about how I'm feeling. I finish work and usually don't speak face to face with another person til I start work again the next day.

 

This is great. Talk therapy, getting what you feel and the T will help you figure out why you're suffering so much from anxiety and teach you how to fight it and live with it a healthy way.

 

I've had a horrible day off work sick today with gastroenteritis- it's been going round among my colleagues and now it's my turn, but I now have a week off work as annual leave where I hope to study and unwind from my work place a bit.

 

I have a number of food allergies- including kiwi, apples and pears- so I'm very cautious about trying certain things.

 

Hope you feel better soon!

 

Have ginger tea, chicken noodle soup, toast, banana's...and of course double your intake of water.

[Justanaverageguy]

Totally support what others recommended. Meditation, yoga and other forms of body work (Qi gong etc) are a great place to start for reducing anxiety, stress issues. If your new to this type of thing I would advise you to join meetup ... There are almost always free meditation groups around that can help you learn the basics and how to integrate it into your daily routine.

 

Regarding IBS - As the bodies digestive system is one that requires the most effort to maintain and is also responsible for controlling the immune system it is the main system affected by stress. The intestinal walls are completely replaced every 24 hours and it requires a lot blood flow and specific nutients - both of which are reduced when stressed.

 

The number 1 supplement I would recommend for assisting with IBS and Stress is Glutamine. It's the substance used to rebuild your intestinal lining and also used as fuel for cells. When stressed your body's cells needs more of this and it actually starts harvesting it from your digestive track if you don't have enough - resulting in IBS, leaky gut food allergies and other more serious digestive disorders like Crohn's disease. Glutamine | Gastrointestinal Society

 

You can get it in powder form pretty cheaply at any chemist and just mix with water and drink 2-3 times per day. Helps fight both the stress, anxiety and digestive problems.

[truthtripper]

The number 1 supplement I would recommend for assisting with IBS and Stress is Glutamine. It's the substance used to rebuild your intestinal lining and also used as fuel for cells. When stressed your body's cells needs more of this and it actually starts harvesting it from your digestive track if you don't have enough - resulting in IBS, leaky gut food allergies and other more serious digestive disorders like Crohn's disease. Glutamine | Gastrointestinal Society

 

You can get it in powder form pretty cheaply at any chemist and just mix with water and drink 2-3 times per day. Helps fight both the stress, anxiety and digestive problems.

After I bought a bottle of glutamine I heard that it can cause bloating and insomnia. I am always bloated and don't want it to be exacerbated and I also have an insomnia tendency. I have taken other amino acids in the past and they have all worsened my bloating. So I'm too afraid to try it now.

[TaraMaiden2]

And to support my own recommendation for probiotic lactofermented pickles (no dairy products involved!!) this link should help.

[Haydn]

I am a fan of Chemicals...OP....

 

But i would also be willing to try the other suggestions.

 

I have found certain `spices` wonderful.

 

Vinegar seems to be great for most things.

 

(Cleaning windows especially)

[Els]

Sorry to hear you're going through that, OP.

 

I'm going to give the opposite opinion to others here - I had crippling insomnia that NOTHING worked for. When I went to see a doctor, it took us a few tries at first to figure out the problem, at first we tried melatonin, counseling, meditation etc - which did, honestly, **** all. Then we tried a benzodiazepine for periodic use at night, but that caused me rebound insomnia and daytime anxiety/lethargy.

 

Eventually he put me on the lowest dose of a long-term tricyclic antidepressant, for both the antianxiety effect and the bonus side effect of drowsiness. It was almost like a miracle (except it wasn't, it was just biochemical science, but still). The 'burning' feeling of anxiety in my head stopped, I could actually switch my brain off with some effort when I needed to, and best of all I COULD ACTUALLY SLEEP. Not perfectly, some nights I still have a bit of a problem, but it improved by leaps and bounds.

 

I had minimal side effects. I don't suffer from much drowsiness the next day as I take only one dose at night. My concentration and work improved tremendously because I wasn't burning myself out with anxiety and insomnia. Possibly the only negative side effect I had was that it made it a bit more difficult to lose weight, but as I wasn't gaining any and was at a medically healthy weight anyway, it was more than worth the tradeoff.

 

So, please don't let people put you off from talking to a doctor. Yes, it takes time to find a solution that works for you, and yes, long-term medication doesn't work for everyone. I think it's overprescribed in some countries, especially the US due to the for-profit nature of healthcare, hence leading to the fact that some people who don't actually HAVE a neurochemical imbalance end up taking them and finding they don't help. But for people who genuinely are suffering from clinical anxiety, they can almost literally save your life. Not saying that you necessarily have clinical anxiety, but talking to health professionals can help you either affirm or rule out the possibility.

 

Go to the doctor, talk to him, maybe get a second opinion, assess your options. Good luck! Many hugs.

Edited December 6, 2015 by Elswyth

[Sioned]

Now I'm a trainee pharmacist. I work 40+ hours a week in a community pharmacy and then I go home to study. And I think it's fair to say I've got really worked up. I had a bit of a blip at the start when the pharmacy was really short staffed and I had to do several people's work- which really wasn't possible- but that situation has improved after I made a complaint and we got another member of staff.

 

After lurking a long time, I felt complelled to break out of hiding for you post as I can relate and you sound like you need advise from someone how has been through this. I qualified as a pharmacist in the UK about 20 years ago, and struggled terribly with exam stress and self doubts. I still have nightmares about exams, and have sworn never to sit another one! I actually quit pharmacy about 10 years ago when I emigrated, and while I miss it sometimes, what made me decide it was time was that workloads were increasing, staffing was decreasing, and often I was left to dispense hundreds of items with no help and no breaks. The stress was incredible, and the fear of making a mistake....

 

So I gather you must be about 5 months into your Pre-Reg? So about 7 months until your final exams? ARe you working for an independant or one of the big chains? Do you have enough dispensers to help - or is it just you and the Pharmacist?

 

I agree taking any meds could be difficult. My first boss after I qualified and was struggling with sleep and stress told me to "take what I needed off the shelf". Advise I am glad I ignored as its stupid as well as illegal. My doctor was much better and said that I had 2 choices - take the pills or find another job! Not that much more helpful, but I actually remembered it, and as I was qualified I did in fact quit and ended up locumming for almost the rest of my career. Because the Job was making me stressed and depressed, but I wasn't actually suffering from depression itself.

 

Now you cannot do that just yet - but remember - soon you will be a qualified pharmacist, and YOU can pretty much CHOOSE where you work and when you work. If 40 hours a week is too much, then look at locumming and work 30 hours. The pay is good, and you book holidays when YOU want. I found there was a number of hours I could work and stay healthy, and thats what I did.If its the store you are in - you can move to another one - as a pharmacist - you will be in demand, so you can use that to find a job you can tolerate. YOu can move to be nearer your LDR if that makes things easier.

 

As far as constantly worrying about patients - some of us always will, and I doubt that will get better. I still cringe to think of mistakes I made, but equally I still get a buzz about the ways in which I helped people, and how much they thanked me for it. Sometimes I hate that I get so upset and worked up about these things, but I would still take that everyday and be the kind of person who cares and makes a good pharmacist.

 

Finally - are you aware that the PharmSoc runs a phone counseling service for pharmacists who need help? Number should be in the Journal from memory - its a bit hit and miss with who you get as they are all volunteers, but its confidential and you can offload to other pharmacists, and they will understand your job.

 

Now, IBS and dealing with stress until you qualify and can make other choices. There are plenty of teatments for IBS as you know, and I didnt see if you were on any. But -as much as we are trained away from it - alternative therapies actually are a tremendous benefit for stress related conditions. I ended up training as an aromatherapist after being uttlery impressed at getting my long standing migraines cleared up, and it helped the stress enormously. If you feel comfy trying that route, look for ones registered with IFPA. Essential oils work for exactly the same reason as medicines - because of the chemicals in them - its quite fascinating really from a chemistry POV! And for IBS look at Aloe Vera - I cannot remember the science behind it Im afraid, but I think its its anti inflammatory on epithelial cells. Most sold (probably even in your store im afraid) is water down, but try and find some by Forever Living Products. Takes like **** but works.

 

I know thats a lot to take in - and sorry for the long post. But I do hope it helps a little bit to know that other pharmacists struggle sometimes too.

[Penguin_hugs]

After lurking a long time, I felt complelled to break out of hiding for you post as I can relate and you sound like you need advise from someone how has been through this. I qualified as a pharmacist in the UK about 20 years ago, and struggled terribly with exam stress and self doubts. I still have nightmares about exams, and have sworn never to sit another one! I actually quit pharmacy about 10 years ago when I emigrated, and while I miss it sometimes, what made me decide it was time was that workloads were increasing, staffing was decreasing, and often I was left to dispense hundreds of items with no help and no breaks. The stress was incredible, and the fear of making a mistake....

 

So I gather you must be about 5 months into your Pre-Reg? So about 7 months until your final exams? ARe you working for an independant or one of the big chains? Do you have enough dispensers to help - or is it just you and the Pharmacist?

 

I agree taking any meds could be difficult. My first boss after I qualified and was struggling with sleep and stress told me to "take what I needed off the shelf". Advise I am glad I ignored as its stupid as well as illegal. My doctor was much better and said that I had 2 choices - take the pills or find another job! Not that much more helpful, but I actually remembered it, and as I was qualified I did in fact quit and ended up locumming for almost the rest of my career. Because the Job was making me stressed and depressed, but I wasn't actually suffering from depression itself.

 

Now you cannot do that just yet - but remember - soon you will be a qualified pharmacist, and YOU can pretty much CHOOSE where you work and when you work. If 40 hours a week is too much, then look at locumming and work 30 hours. The pay is good, and you book holidays when YOU want. I found there was a number of hours I could work and stay healthy, and thats what I did.If its the store you are in - you can move to another one - as a pharmacist - you will be in demand, so you can use that to find a job you can tolerate. YOu can move to be nearer your LDR if that makes things easier.

 

As far as constantly worrying about patients - some of us always will, and I doubt that will get better. I still cringe to think of mistakes I made, but equally I still get a buzz about the ways in which I helped people, and how much they thanked me for it. Sometimes I hate that I get so upset and worked up about these things, but I would still take that everyday and be the kind of person who cares and makes a good pharmacist.

 

Finally - are you aware that the PharmSoc runs a phone counseling service for pharmacists who need help? Number should be in the Journal from memory - its a bit hit and miss with who you get as they are all volunteers, but its confidential and you can offload to other pharmacists, and they will understand your job.

 

Now, IBS and dealing with stress until you qualify and can make other choices. There are plenty of teatments for IBS as you know, and I didnt see if you were on any. But -as much as we are trained away from it - alternative therapies actually are a tremendous benefit for stress related conditions. I ended up training as an aromatherapist after being uttlery impressed at getting my long standing migraines cleared up, and it helped the stress enormously. If you feel comfy trying that route, look for ones registered with IFPA. Essential oils work for exactly the same reason as medicines - because of the chemicals in them - its quite fascinating really from a chemistry POV! And for IBS look at Aloe Vera - I cannot remember the science behind it Im afraid, but I think its its anti inflammatory on epithelial cells. Most sold (probably even in your store im afraid) is water down, but try and find some by Forever Living Products. Takes like **** but works.

 

I know thats a lot to take in - and sorry for the long post. But I do hope it helps a little bit to know that other pharmacists struggle sometimes too.

 

 

Thankyou for your response- I didn't have my laptop to be able to reply before now.

 

Yes, I'm 5 months in and working for a large multiple. I like the training that I get- but the work load is very high at the same time.

 

When I started the dispenser had just left and there was no replacement. So it was me and the pharmacist, plus a manager who could dispense- but chose not to. I got in such a state after about 6-8 weeks in as I couldn't cope with the work load- and my manager just kept putting more pressure on me to get everything done in the dispensary- and wasn't planning for there to be any more help til Dec (I started in July). I made a complaint in the end to my teacher practitioner and the area manager and they looked at the situation and made my manager employ a dispenser on the spot- or I was being removed from the store.

 

Things have improved since then and I can focus more on being a prereg- but the work load is still too high really for those of us who are there!

 

I've been away from work for a few days on annual leave and already I feel better. I know I just have to manage the work and exam stress for another 7 months and then things will get better. I plan to relocate to where my BF is- even if the company I work for currently don't offer me a transfer. I think that will be best for my long term health.

 

All I keep hearing though at the moment is how it is so much harder to get a job in pharmacy now. All I know is that I don't want to be a community pharmacist forever. I'm really good with patients and I do enjoy helping people- but sometimes the politics of targets and menial tasks get in the way. I'd love to go in to pharmacy education or work for a journal or regulatory agency. Something using my skills.

 

I find it tough because I was a top student and worked ridiculously hard at Uni and sometimes I wonder whether it is all worth it. I know I need to qualify before I make rash decisions though.

 

And getting on top of my anxiety has to be step 1. It's taken me 4 years to realise I have a problem that is worth addressing- so I'm not going to be jumping in to doing too many things at once

[truthtripper]

I've just been googling Ayurvedic medicine and IBS/leaky gut. There is a spice called hing(asafoetida) which lots of people are talking about on IBS forums. You just add a pinch to your meal. It assists digestion and inhibits the formation of fermentation gas. It also has many other health-giving properties.

 

Triphala is another herbal combo to heal and tone up the GI tract.

[spiderowl]

If you have any of the 'More to Life' workshops near you, I would recommend them for helping to get to the root of worries. However, anxiety and depression does tend to run in families and it could be that sometimes you may find you need a med to get yourself back to a more relaxed state. I have found some antidepressants work brilliantly with anxiety.

 

No-one wants to take meds. I wish I didn't have to but I get very down if I don't. One day, scientists will discover what triggers these conditions and better ways of helping them. I look forward to that day.

 

A good counsellor could help. I know CBT is lauded as the wonder therapy these days. It does help you to question assumptions made about a lot of things that may be making your anxiety worse. Assumptions can be largely unconscious, fleeting thoughts that influence behaviour. In the hands of a good therapist, CBT can help to uncover what fundamental assumptions you have that are making you vulnerable to anxiety. The only thing that some might find difficult is the diary-keeping aspect. I found myself totally unwilling to engage with it as I felt far too stressed to focus on that. I think this is where the limits of the therapy are. A good therapist would spot that and work round it.

 

I hope you feel better soon. I would consider meds as you could be feeling a whole lot less stressed than you are. Your happiness and wellbeing come first. Talk to your doctor and see what therapeutic options are available to you. At least you will have the information then.