Luckydood Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I've been suffering from opiate abuse for going on 10 years now I'm a father of three young girls for the husband to a beautiful wife 11 years I've tried everything done everything that we are supposed to do. I don't even hide it anymore and frankly I just don't care anymore I love my family so much but the thought of going through withdrawal again makes me feel like I'm just not capable of making it through. I failed so many times and I'm just over putting myself in my family through this again it's just not fair to them my wife loves me even though I have this horrible addiction she still from my son just waiting for the day for that mean she wants mood to come back home. The worst part about it is I just can't wait for the day to be over and start all over again like you're some kind of a zombie I don't feel real I don't know what it feels like anymore to be me and I hate it. This is not how I imagined my life would turn out to be. I have everything, a home, three beautiful girls and the most amazing wife of all. Drugs make you do selfish things. I just can't ever imagine what I could possibly do at this point to make it up ? The drugs have zero fun whatsoever all I simply do is take what I need to keep myself from getting sick just to make it through another day and for many years now there has been nothing fun about being high it's simply just figuring out how am I going to get my next pill. Underneath it all I do still have hope. So if anyone out there has any suggestions or anything please reply. Thank you... RFJ Link to post Share on other sites
Sparta Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 (edited) Have you tried meetings alcoholics anonymous, i've had my share of problems with alcohol and drugs in my past... Only thing that help me is AA It's the only thing that works to get off that stuff I think you're going to have to go to detox to help you detox from the opiates because I know that's painful. The best thing you did was ask for help...!!! That's the first step in recovery and the next you have to have the willingness to do whatever it takes to stay sober and that means getting a sponsor taking the steps with him good luck buddy you can do it Edited December 4, 2015 by Sparta 1 Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I've been suffering from opiate abuse for going on 10 years now I'm a father of three young girls for the husband to a beautiful wife 11 years I've tried everything done everything that we are supposed to do. I don't even hide it anymore and frankly I just don't care anymore I love my family so much but the thought of going through withdrawal again makes me feel like I'm just not capable of making it through. I failed so many times and I'm just over putting myself in my family through this again it's just not fair to them my wife loves me even though I have this horrible addiction she still from my son just waiting for the day for that mean she wants mood to come back home. The worst part about it is I just can't wait for the day to be over and start all over again like you're some kind of a zombie I don't feel real I don't know what it feels like anymore to be me and I hate it. This is not how I imagined my life would turn out to be. I have everything, a home, three beautiful girls and the most amazing wife of all. Drugs make you do selfish things. I just can't ever imagine what I could possibly do at this point to make it up ? The drugs have zero fun whatsoever all I simply do is take what I need to keep myself from getting sick just to make it through another day and for many years now there has been nothing fun about being high it's simply just figuring out how am I going to get my next pill. Underneath it all I do still have hope. So if anyone out there has any suggestions or anything please reply. Thank you... RFJ Go to inpatient rehab and get counselling. You can also try NA if that's up your alley. If you have already tried the above and your addiction is out of control, look into maintenance therapy (suboxone or methadone) to stabilise yourself. There is definitely hope. You can come out the otherside and live a happy life. Keep going - relapse is a part of this...try not to beat yourself up too much. Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I agree with others. You exaust all options with rehab and counseling. Now what I'm about to say might not be popular here on an addiction board specifically in a post about drug abuse, but I'll say it anyway. Look into ibogaine and ayahuasca. They both boast a high success rate when dealing with opiate addictions. You will have to travel to South America most likely to participate in an iboga or ayahuasca ceremony with a shaman. Again, this I would use as a last resort. But I think it is worth looking in to if you feel you have reached that point. There are many success stories. Good luck and take care! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 So if anyone out there has any suggestions or anything please reply. Thank you... RFJ RFJ, If you are at the point where you're willing to consider a non-traditional, or spiritual, explanation - and possible way through this - then this article can be a starting point. Overcoming an addiction. Along different yet similar lines, the book 'Remarkable Healings' by Dr. Skahuntala Modi, may prove interesting. She is a psychiatrist and speaks to the unsuspected cause of physical illness...which, to me, addiction is part of the physical condition. Whether or not you find benefit in either of these, I do wish for you that you will be ultimately successful in finding your resolution. Hugs, Ronni Link to post Share on other sites
Author Luckydood Posted December 14, 2015 Author Share Posted December 14, 2015 Thank you so much for the feedback at this point I'm willing to do anything I guess I'm just waiting for a miracle I've done it all set it off and I really don't know what to do anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Author Luckydood Posted December 14, 2015 Author Share Posted December 14, 2015 Well I've had some pretty good feedback and interesting stuff I haven't heard of although not sure if it's something that can be done on my side but anyhow here is a month or so later and I am still in the same place doing the same thing and I just truly misses the holidays at but I miss just having feelings and just being myself once in awhile I get a glimpse of that and I like when you're with Raleigh Feels terribly good. But I do believe in the numbers game and eventually it's going to be time so please keep sending me messages eventually the right ones going to be there Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 (edited) Well I've had some pretty good feedback and interesting stuff I haven't heard of although not sure if it's something that can be done on my side but anyhow here is a month or so later and I am still in the same place doing the same thing and I just truly misses the holidays at but I miss just having feelings and just being myself once in awhile I get a glimpse of that and I like when you're with Raleigh Feels terribly good. But I do believe in the numbers game and eventually it's going to be time so please keep sending me messages eventually the right ones going to be there Out of curiosity what opiates are you referring to? You can beat this- forever. The drugs are ruining your body and creating damage that may not be repairable in a few years if you continue. You must quit. You don't have to do what you are doing, meaning taking drugs. There's people that have to take them, so feel good that you don't have to. Feel good about being clean and sober with no more guilt of using. Change. Your. Mind. You can do this. Change. Your. Thinking. Your thinking and thought processes are the culprit to the addiction. Tell yourself for a month everyday all day that you are going to quit and I can guarantee it will happen. Concerning opiates, I strongly suggest you are under a doctors care when you do this. Use this time to prepare for the rest of your life, the life that you saved by ceasing all use... you can do this. Stand up and own the addiction and put yourself in the drivers seat... the drugs do not own you and never did... you have control over them, meaning to get help and choose not to use. Edited December 14, 2015 by pureinheart 1 Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Well I've had some pretty good feedback and interesting stuff I haven't heard of although not sure if it's something that can be done on my side but anyhow here is a month or so later and I am still in the same place doing the same thing and I just truly misses the holidays at but I miss just having feelings and just being myself once in awhile I get a glimpse of that and I like when you're with Raleigh Feels terribly good. But I do believe in the numbers game and eventually it's going to be time so please keep sending me messages eventually the right ones going to be there I still say ibogaine treatment. It curbs withdrawal symptoms. Some of these treatment facilities boast success rates in the 75-80% range, which is extremely high compared to anything I can think of in the US. You can go to Mexico or Central America for pretty darn cheap these days. Unfortunately the US would rather sell you the opiates then offer something like ibogaine treatment to help you. I believe ibogaine is legal in the UK as well. Find a treatment center you can afford. Then DO IT!! Read all the success stories online. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Luckydood Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 I really like everything that you're saying just outta curiosity have you ever suffered from addiction with opiates? I would love to take control get my life back there are so many things out there waiting for me my family and it can't happen until I get clean I can't get a house I can't save money and I basically work my ass off just to feed the demon the only thing that I have never tried is a an impatient program because in most cases insurance will not cover it and it's very very expensive for out-of-pocket I couldn't just I just can't afford it. I'm stuck in a place where if I don't work I can't pay the bills. And there lies the problem. It's an endless cycle that I just can't get out of and I'm sorry for the pity party I'm just being very honest and truthful this is something I have never done before until now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 Thank you so much for the feedback at this point I'm willing to do anything I guess I'm just waiting for a miracle I've done it all set it off and I really don't know what to do anymore Whatever you do to get off the drugs whether its shamanic or you go to a rehab or cold turkey in your house - no matter how terrible it is, it is NOT the hardest part. That's when you have to live every day of your life without drugs. So please please please try a 12 step program to help you with that part and get support from other people who have been through it. I really really really hope and pray for you that you will do what you need to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 I really like everything that you're saying just outta curiosity have you ever suffered from addiction with opiates? I would love to take control get my life back there are so many things out there waiting for me my family and it can't happen until I get clean I can't get a house I can't save money and I basically work my ass off just to feed the demon the only thing that I have never tried is a an impatient program because in most cases insurance will not cover it and it's very very expensive for out-of-pocket I couldn't just I just can't afford it. I'm stuck in a place where if I don't work I can't pay the bills. And there lies the problem. It's an endless cycle that I just can't get out of and I'm sorry for the pity party I'm just being very honest and truthful this is something I have never done before until now. Not opiates. Meth and cocaine. Working as a line cook in a kitchen... Pretty much says it all. The lifestyle of a cook is a strange one for sure. Dropped out of high school, would be awake on meth benge for 5-6 days every week working and getting high. Days off spend sleeping, like 20+ hours. Then i was back at it again. This went on for about 3 years. Had a life threatening situation happen (probably the biggest contributing factor) watched friends get completely ruled by it and saw how a 23 year old kid looked like he was a legit 40+ year old after years of meth use. I was able to just quit. Moved to a different city, changed career paths, and just got away pretty much clean as a whistle. I was very fortunate to get away so easily. To me it was the change that made it easiest. I needed to get away from everything to have any chance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bilski04 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I really like everything that you're saying just outta curiosity have you ever suffered from addiction with opiates? I would love to take control get my life back there are so many things out there waiting for me my family and it can't happen until I get clean I can't get a house I can't save money and I basically work my ass off just to feed the demon the only thing that I have never tried is a an impatient program because in most cases insurance will not cover it and it's very very expensive for out-of-pocket I couldn't just I just can't afford it. I'm stuck in a place where if I don't work I can't pay the bills. And there lies the problem. It's an endless cycle that I just can't get out of and I'm sorry for the pity party I'm just being very honest and truthful this is something I have never done before until now. I am a recovering opiate addict ( among other things) for me, I couldnt stop and had to go to inpatient rehab. I personally cant understand how someone can stop on their own, but they are out there. Me- I had to have help and am thankful for it. Friday I celebrated my 1 year anniversary of sobriety!! It took me 28 years of drinking and drugging to finally reach bottom to seek help. it was so worth it! I understand your concern about $$$$, but there are some ways around this. if you have med insurance, the ACA says that med insurance has to cover addiction txt.(outpatient or inpatient) and no denial for pre-existing conditions, and if you dont have money you can get govt help for med insurance or maybe qualify for medicaid, or if you need to , borrow/ask friends or relatives for financial help or sell your stuff to get the money-several of my friends in rehab did this (like sold cars or boats or whatever they had that had any value) so they could get clean, lastly, is that some rehab centers like Hazelden/Betty Ford have endowments for financial aid. GO TO REHAB. it was the best thing I could have ever done. I'm not going to kid you, its not easy, but boy was it worth it ,but, and this is the big but, you need to want to get better. have you hit bottom yet? do you really want to get clean? are you willing to do whatever it takes to get and stay clean? just remember that opiate overdose/death has increased dramatically and your family wants you around. do it for them, but more importantly do it for yourself. get the help you need and deserve Link to post Share on other sites
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