Eating Disorder or Attention Getter?

[Otter2569]

When my GF is upset (which is often enough) she says she cant eat. Im pretty sure she has BPD based on her personality traits.

 

She is already petite and she is at a point where she could put on a few pounds. It's becoming noticeable.

 

Do you think its a cry for help or an attention getter? I know its not my problem and she has to take care of herself. I walk the line by periodically commenting on how she needs to eat more but not making a huge deal over it. Behind the scenes its on my radar and just one more thing to worry about.

[darkbloom]

When I'm upset, I can't eat. Not even if I try to force myself. The food turns almost chalk-like in my mouth and my throat swells up too much to swallow. I lost a ton of weight during my breakup because I couldn't eat. I don't think you'll be able to get her to eat even if you mention it. I think it's just a natural reaction to her feelings.

[Otter2569]

Thx Dark, sounds exactly like what happens to her. It makes me nervous because the change is noticeable and I am not there to see whats really going on.

[jen1447]

From what I understand both stress eaters and stress starvers are typical - ppl who respond to stress by over-eating or losing their appetite. So her claim sounds legit to me. It can be serious too ....the BF lost ~35 lbs. several years ago due to a romantic disaster.

 

So I don't think it's a question of whether her weight loss is legit, but whether her stress is legit. (Meaning not whether or not she has stress, but whether her stress is a reaction to genuine problems or if it's a psych disorder. Extreme examples would be someone who stresses out over a cancer diagnosis vs. someone who stresses out over fear of aliens or germs. Etc.)

[truthtripper]

When my GF is upset (which is often enough) she says she cant eat.

 

Do you think its a cry for help or an attention getter?

I sure can't eat when I'm upset. I can relate to darkbloom's experiences.

 

Does your girlfriend tell you what is upsetting her? If she can somehow resolve the cause(s) of her worries she'll be able to eat again, unless she has more deep-seated emotional problems which are giving rise to an eating disorder(usually stems from unacknowledged childhood abuse trauma).

 

Perhaps you can sit down with her and gently ask her what's going on? When people don't eat, they are either physically ill or emotionally distressed. No one stops eating simply for attention-they'd get really hungry, don't you think?

[Otter2569]

There a lots of emotions and unresolved issues with this chic: childhood, past relationships, plus I lied to her last week (another post) - which she says devastated her (to Jens point - mountain/mole hill issue).

 

She is losing weight and its really bothering me...I feel like everyone is looking at her like its my fault. It is just unimaginable to be acting this way on top of all the other drama.

 

It makes me want to cut my losses and abandon this relationship (again)