Guest Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Hi all, When I first met H, we were both Christians. Now, I am no longer interested in being a Christian, and my H is more interested in it that ever; in fact, in my opinion, he has gone off the deep end into religion. He believes crazy stuff about demon possession, Satan coming out of people, etc, etc. which I totally think is insane. He spends all of his free time with people at church. He only wants to listen to Christian music and watch PG or G rated movies. This is not exactly how I want my life to be. At the same time, I do love him, and I hate divorce. But I don't really want to be married to him if this is what he wants for the rest of my life. He refuses to go to marriage counseling UNLESS it is at his church with his Pastor, who I don't trust or like. HELP!?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
DesertDweller Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 I can relate. My brother and sister are born-again Christians and my mother-in-law is a total religious nut--a "spiritual warrior." I think in my siblings' case, it was midlife crises. I think with the mother-in-law it's mental illness. I would try to identify the trigger. But, I don't balme you a bit for your frustration. It's like the person has changed into someone you don't recognize... Link to post Share on other sites
UltimateZen Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Originally posted by Guest Hi all, When I first met H, we were both Christians. Now, I am no longer interested in being a Christian, and my H is more interested in it that ever; in fact, in my opinion, he has gone off the deep end into religion. He believes crazy stuff about demon possession, Satan coming out of people, etc, etc. which I totally think is insane. He spends all of his free time with people at church. He only wants to listen to Christian music and watch PG or G rated movies. This is not exactly how I want my life to be. At the same time, I do love him, and I hate divorce. But I don't really want to be married to him if this is what he wants for the rest of my life. He refuses to go to marriage counseling UNLESS it is at his church with his Pastor, who I don't trust or like. HELP!?!?! My fiance and I were just confirmed catholic this past Easter. One of my major concerns was getting too involved with the church and activities; especially my fiance as she never belonged to a church and has a tendency to be led by persuasive talk. How I handled this was by establishing our beliefs before we signed up for the process of becoming catholics. I researched other religions, other viewpoints and we read them together so that we came to an understanding that the Church we were about to enter wasn't necessarily a "Correct" one; but a church that can help us be involved with the community and solidify family values that we seek for our future children. We had, in our discussions, brain-stormed the grey areas that Catholicism has and we agreed that certain rules and beliefs that the Church established are just that...rules made by the Church; not God. There is a big difference in following the Bible, following an interpretation of the Bible, and following your own belief system. What I am saying is that you first need to figure out what you believe in now (if anything). Then communicate to him what your beliefs are and how his overly conservative Christian lifestyle has pushed you to change your belief system. But, be forewarned, you better do your research not only for what you believe in but what he is believing so that you can understand where he is coming from. With that, don't expect to change his belief system in just one discussion; instead approach it as learning sessions where you are trying to better understand his point of view; while at the same time he is trying to better understand yours. By researching and discussing this together you may find, as with my fiance and I, that you have a personal belief system based off of a Christian one that is unique to your family. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 when an individual makes a major lifestyle change they also have to disassociate themselves from the people and "crowd" that defined that past lifestyle. think about it for a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
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