lookin ahead Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 My mom was raised by my grandfather's sister, My mom's parents never really looked after her, my grandparents split eventually and remarried, my grandfather had another daughter which is his world and never really cared about my mom, he pretty much wished the worst for my mom. My mom never needed anything from him, she did good on her own, i have the best parents i can possibly ask for they have been together for over 36+ yrs and honestly my mother is supportive and loving and extremely hard working. My mother's sister is the complete opposite, she is a mess has no stability, has kids from 2 different men doesn't even care for her kids my mom is the one who looked after the little one for a few months (she says how she hates my little cousin and how he is stupid etc when he was just a few weeks old she would say you stupid piece of sh** all the time) She even asked my mom to keep my little cousin that she didn't want him and my mom told her no that is a terrible thing to do. My mom was always there and they have the NERVE to talk gossip and crap about my mother!!! This pisses me off so much! Whenever they need something or there is an emergency my mom is the one who helps them out and runs with them and it just saddens me so much how my grandfather has always thrown my mother to the side, and yet STILL manages to throw so much hate on her and talk so badly about her. My mom called my grandfather's sister one day and she didn't notice her phone was still on (she didn't turn it off properly after the call) and they were talking so much crap about her in front of my mom's step sister. They were just ripping her to shreds. I hate this so much, i absolutely hate this so much!!! I am so mad!!!! My mom told me not to say anything to just forget she ever told me anything. Honestly i want to confront them and say so many things!! My grandfather has talked bad about my mom to me in the past as well how much of a B** she is etc... and my grandfather's sister says how my mom never visits him etc but my grandfather NEVER wants to share not one holiday with us even when she invites him, and all he does is talk crap about my family, they have no right! I just wish i knew how i could confront these Aholes! My grandfather would never DARE speak ill of his other daughter who is a complete moron! I just had to vent i am so mad and i really would like to say something to them one day (my grandfather and his sister) but my mom said not to say anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Respect your mothers' request. While you seem to have much love for your mom, this is her way of resolving or enduring matters. In what way is your talk any different from theirs? Think about that, and then go beyond. How blessed to have a mother that perserveres thru unkind actions. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 It's nice that you love your mom and whenever someone talks poorly about her to you, you should speak up and let that person know that you don't want hear any negative talk about your mom. However, if your mom is coming to you with these horrible stories about how her family treats her and what they say about her then she is really not being fair to you. She is placing an unfair burden on you by getting you upset at these people and then telling you not to do or say anything about it. Your mom is a grown up and if she doesn't know how to deal with toxic people in her life (preferably by getting them out of her life) then it's time she learns. Perhaps she could benefit from some therapy to help her build her self esteem and assertiveness skills because nothing is going to change until your mom does something to change it. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Be damned if I would let anyone talk down to my mother and get away with it. I would let it be known to them that if they can't say anything good, then don't say anything. There's no excuse for that coming from other adults. Maybe they need to have someone tell them and it would be a cold day in hell before I would back down. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AspenBaldwin Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 If I were you I'll put superglue on his dentures. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lookin ahead Posted December 6, 2015 Author Share Posted December 6, 2015 I have decided to just acknowledge that my mom was hurt and upset and spoke to me in confidence as a way to vent. I have in fact acknowledged her wishes and will stay quiet, However, if i hear ONE word about my mother by either of them the only thing i will say is, "I'm sure you don't like to have anyone disrespect your mother, so please in front of me don't ever speak ill of her because i will not have it." I know they will get mad at me probably not speak to me for a while (they are both very well known for their silent treatments when they don't get their way) but i do not care, my parents are my world, they have been there for me through every single step in my life and supported me and my brother in every way with nothing but love and respect. I don't care if my grandfather gets mad and never wants to speak to me again. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 I have decided to just acknowledge that my mom was hurt and upset and spoke to me in confidence as a way to vent. I have in fact acknowledged her wishes and will stay quiet, However, if i hear ONE word about my mother by either of them the only thing i will say is, "I'm sure you don't like to have anyone disrespect your mother, so please in front of me don't ever speak ill of her because i will not have it." I know they will get mad at me probably not speak to me for a while (they are both very well known for their silent treatments when they don't get their way) but i do not care, my parents are my world, they have been there for me through every single step in my life and supported me and my brother in every way with nothing but love and respect. I don't care if my grandfather gets mad and never wants to speak to me again. And if by chance their at you house bad mouthing her, say what you just said above then open the front door and tell them to take it someplace else. If you do say something to them, then you make sure that you say it in a way that they know your serious 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 "I'm sure you don't like to have anyone disrespect your mother, so please in front of me don't ever speak ill of her because i will not have it." This is a very reasonable request (maybe leave out the part about how they might feel if someone disrespected their own mother) and if anyone has an issue with it, you can ignore it. They should feel ashamed rather than angry at your request. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Personally, I'd be looking for every opportunity to be around them when they might say something like that just SO I could respond in kind. That way, it's not your mom telling you about them but you witnessing it yourself. And I would be very stubborn about pointing it out to them...until they get tired of it and stay away. And I'd also book your mom some therapy sessions. Link to post Share on other sites
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