chronic Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Hi All, Need some opinions and insight here. So there's this girl that I use to hang out with a couple a years ago. However, at the time, she had a long distance boyfriend who she'd been going out with for a while . We only knew each other for 4 months but during that time we started hanging out and got pretty close emotionally--we both know pretty personal stuff about each other. Heavy flirting, hand holding, lap sitting but no petting ensued. I kinda felt weird since she had a boyfriend but I definitely was not gonna be just "a friend". So I let her know where I stood. It didn't go so well since she admitted to still having feelings for her boyfriend. Unsuprisingly, our friendship fizzled. I haven't seen her in about 2 years.... I see her at a party last night and she's kinda following me around. She joins every conversation I'm in and we end up chatting quite a bit. I don't know if she's in a relationship and she keeps on hinting that we should hang out. Here's the big question. Once a girl rejects you...is it over forever? . I know I shouldn't bother and there are lots of other girls that are interested in me at the moment but I'll be honest, I feel like I want another kick at the can. I know she digs me on some level but I also don't want to be her fallback guy. Now, I'm not obsessed with this girl but I'm kinda confused cuz she always seems so interested in me. And yes, she looked damn good. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Feel like taking another trip on the merry-go round? Go right ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 I would ask her upfront if her feelings about just friends have changed for her. If she just wants to hang out then forget her. If she would like to go farther than friends then the choice is yours. Peace... Link to post Share on other sites
Author chronic Posted May 30, 2005 Author Share Posted May 30, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Feel like taking another trip on the merry-go round? Go right ahead. Yeah, I guess I deserved that one. I assume you would not do it my situation or are you speaking from experience? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 A little of both. Only happened to me once, but once is all it took. I simply don't care how she reacts to you at a party... it's fun, convenient, and in plain view of others. Doesn't mean a thing. All she wanted to do was hang out, that's all. She probably came alone, or just wanted other guys to see her talking to you in order to raise her stock, so to speak. Why couldn't she leave you alone so you could talk to other girls? Next time ignore her... she'll definitely respect you for it. Even if she doesn't, she'll have to respect the fact that you're ignoring her. Whatever you do, don't melt like a candle if/when you see her again. Especially after two years have gone by. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chronic Posted May 30, 2005 Author Share Posted May 30, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer A little of both. Only happened to me once, but once is all it took. I simply don't care how she reacts to you at a party... it's fun, convenient, and in plain view of others. Doesn't mean a thing. All she wanted to do was hang out, that's all. She probably came alone, or just wanted other guys to see her talking to you in order to raise her stock, so to speak. Why couldn't she leave you alone so you could talk to other girls? Next time ignore her... she'll definitely respect you for it. Even if she doesn't, she'll have to respect the fact that you're ignoring her. Whatever you do, don't melt like a candle if/when you see her again. Especially after two years have gone by. Thanks man, that was the first sound piece of advice I got in a while. Much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 By the way, no more friendships with girls, and definitely not with this girl. She'll know where to find you if she's curious. In the meantime, date other girls and don't hold any torches for her. Don't even let her know you're interested... her curiosity will get the best of her if she's wants you. If not, oh well. She's not the only girl in town. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chronic Posted May 30, 2005 Author Share Posted May 30, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer By the way, no more friendships with girls, and definitely not with this girl. She'll know where to find you if she's curious. In the meantime, date other girls and don't hold any torches for her. Don't even let her know you're interested... her curiosity will get the best of her if she's wants you. If not, oh well. She's not the only girl in town. Advice taken...I think I may have to hire you as my new relationship consultant--you seem to know your shiznit. I actually just severed all friendships with girls as of this year and I think it's better off that way--the friendships always seemed so forced. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 I hear you on the forced friendship... I can honestly say that I've only had two female friends my entire life. It was two too many. You can hire me, but I'd rather pass this info for free. Experience is, without a doubt, the best teacher. If anything, it's shown me what not to do. Saddest thing is that some guys never learn. They keep repeating the same mistakes. I believe in treating a girl right, but it comes at a price. If she toys with me, I'm out the door. Doesn't matter what we shared yesterday... it's all about today. Memories are for history books. They mean nothing if today means nothing. We all live and learn... looks like you're on the right path. Keep it up, bro. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer By the way, no more friendships with girls, and definitely not with this girl. She'll know where to find you if she's curious. In the meantime, date other girls and don't hold any torches for her. Don't even let her know you're interested... her curiosity will get the best of her if she's wants you. If not, oh well. She's not the only girl in town. Amen brother. I broke off a friendship I had with a women because the relationship was not going where I wanted and now we don't even speak to each other. She can't stand me but she respects me for what I did. DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH WOMEN YOU LIKE. IT JUST DOESN'T WORK. Peace... Link to post Share on other sites
superfabulous Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 its hard to be friends with Men being Female always turns to trouble i tell the men that i meet, i am happy being single - i have tonz of good friends to hangout with so if they're thinking to date date me, then they have a shot- if i find them hot! if not its a no go Link to post Share on other sites
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